Eucatastrophe ~ h.s.

This isn't how I planned any aspect of my life to occur.

The plan was simple: Finish university with a 4.0 GPA, Get a well-paying corporate job that's more intense than the assistant job I've now, Find a man that loves me for me, Get married at a gorgeous ceremony, Have beautiful children, Grow old with the man of my dreams and watch our kids mature right before our eyes, and Then fall deeper and deeper in love with our time together.

That Night wasn't supposed to happen. My life wasn't supposed to turn out like this.

*Contains: Language, mild sexual content, and a bit of violence. Content could be triggering for some.*


9. ✗ eight ✗


7 May

With my breathing hitched and a cool sweat pooling at the brim of my hairline, I retreat from the comfortable confines of Harry's bed. A sneaky peek at the clock on his bedside table has me internally groaning. I have only fallen asleep a matter of two hours ago and here I am terrified and wide-awake at half two in the morning.

I shuffle into the bathroom, flipping on the blinding overhead light before traveling over to the sink and mirror. The reflection that stares back at me is nothing like I have remembered her to be.

There is no longer the light that has once filled her eyes and the joy that has once lived upon her face. Her eyes hold certain darkness and her expression is unbelievably sad. The fact alone is that she looks homeless and malnourished. Her normally fuller face is now sunken in like a skeleton and her skin tone, shades lighter than it has once been.

Stepping back from the mirror I turn on the faucet, splashing cold water onto my heated skin, the feeling washing away the sweat and uneasiness that the dream provided. The same damn dream, rather nightmare, which haunts me since that night has returned full force. The events leading up to the end where I thrash myself straight out of it and back into reality are the same.

That man that did this to me is there, his feature ever present and identical to his actual face, until near the end where his face starts to change, into someone he's not. There have been times where it's coworkers, even celebrities, but most recently it always ends with the same curly haired, green-eyed man that I used to spend every day of my life with.

I kill the water and dry my face with my towel before exiting the bathroom and standing dead center in the middle of the room. I'm not tired anymore, nor could I even think about closing my eyes after the nightmare. I never can get back to sleep after something so horrific. So instead of trying to go back to sleep like I should, I take the opportunity to take a walk through Harry's home. I've been in this house numerous times, but still have managed not to see almost every single inch of the house.

I creep down the stairs to the ground floor and then continue to go down lower into the depths of Harry's ginormous abode. Harry always insists on taking his personal lift from the basement to the ground floor, so I've never seen the level that's between the ground floor and the basement. I don't know whether it's to keep people out or to hide something there, but whatever it is I'm oddly curious in the early hours of the morning.

I take a quick look around to make sure no one is here before going to the first door before me. Pulling the single door open, the lights immediately flicker on to showcase a large wine cellar.

Back away from the alcohol Shay, we don't need another repeat of what happened only hours ago.

I shut the door backing away from it before turning to my right. Whatever is beyond the door, I'm just praying that it isn't a dead body or something like that. Who knows, Harry can have many skeletons in his closet, literally. When I pull it open I'm met with a hallway and two more doors.

The door directly before me is all glass, showing out to a patio on the exterior of the house, yet the other door is solid. With a quick look over my shoulder I try the doorknob, finding it unlocked I push the door open. A gasp leaves my lips at the sight of what is encased. I flip the lights on, taking in the sight before me.

It's a complete recording studio. There's a grand piano, a set of guitars, a full mechanical soundboard with all the bells and whistles that I know nothing about, and a table with several chairs to work. There's even a full recording booth behind what looks to be soundproof glass, set up with a high-end microphone and sound proofing panels over the walls and ceiling.

I'm in awe with the room, strictly because I don't even know Harry is interested in such things. I know he has a fun side to him, but not a musical one. I know he likes music, but I didn't know he dabbles in it during his little free time. But the more time I spend in the room, the more I feel like I'm invading his privacy, so I leave.

Going back the way I came I start down the opposite side of the level, chuckling to myself and coming to a complete stop. Of course, I didn't know how I missed the smell of chlorine the minute I stepped foot on the level. Harry has a full sized lap pool to my left and even a small hot tub as well. I know what it's like to come from money, but my parents don't have an outdoor pool, let alone an indoor one.

With a quick look around, once again to make sure that no one is near, I walk up to the edge of the hot tub. Sticking one toe into the water I sigh at the heat that resonates. I bend down and step into the water, the warmth coming just below my knees. I sit down on the edge of the hot tub, leaning back on my elbows so that I'm basically lying down on the ground.

There's nothing more relaxing than sticking your feet into a hot tub and just lying back. Somehow in this moment I begin to feel the least bit content with myself. There's still this pang in the back of my mind that reminds me every single second of the day what has happened, but right now I just feel so relaxed and calm.

I want to feel like this from now on, no matter what it takes I'm going to feel like this. I'm really going to try. I'm no longer going to mope about, I'm going to eat, and try my best to sleep. If the nightmares prevail then I'm going to fight through them. I'm going to be okay.

Everything is going to be okay from now on.



By the time I actually crawl out of this rather comfortable, but still not as comfortable as my bed, bed and get myself looking as if I've not just woken up it's about ten in the morning. Surprisingly it's also one of the latest times that I've actually slept in in a while. I feel refreshed, not like how I've been feeling days prior, which was like death.

I take the stairs down to the first floor, peering at the open doorway that leads into my bedroom before continuing down the steps one at a time. Then it hits me. I had closed that door last night when I left and I know when I checked on Shay before I came up that door was shut. Shit. I run back up the steps, tearing into the room right away.

The bed is unmade and empty, causing my heart to quicken at the sight. The only thing that keeps me calm is that Shay's suitcase is still here, as well as her phone that is sitting on the bedside table. After a quick check of the bathroom, which I find to be empty too, I go downstairs. But like the bedroom, it too is empty.

"Shay!" I call out, walking around the ground floor again, making sure that I'm not overlooking something. Everything looks in place and her handbag is still sitting where she had placed it last night. Where the hell is she? I can't help the worry that is beginning to seep into my pores at the thought of her just disappearing and getting hurt, especially on my watch. "Shay!" I call, once again receiving absolute dick.

I won't be able to live with myself if something has happened to her on my watch. Hell, it's partially my fault that she's in this mess. I've spent the past two weeks moping about because of something that I could have prevented. I know that there is no turning back, that what's in the past has to stay in the past, but I can do everything in my power to help her now.

By this point in my search I'm running around my house like a crazy person, going up and down steps like they're nothing. I've checked the upper levels, in hopes that maybe she felt more comfortable in a room that wasn't mine, but there's no sign of her. I check my office, thinking she walked in there in hopes of actually getting some work done, but nothing. I check the living room, perhaps she fell asleep on the couch after watching a bit of TV, but that too is empty. I check the backyard, thinking she went out to get fresh air, but nothing. The only levels I haven't checked are the lower levels.

"Shay!" I shout as I tear down the steps to the next level. I check the hall and my recording studio, but nothing, and then look out the door that leads outside, hoping to God that she hasn't stumbled outside. But the door is securely shut, so she hasn't left. In one quick motion I spin around, praying to God that she hasn't gone near the pool in her state. When I round the corner I'm met with Shay's body sprawled out on the hard ground.

Her knees are pulled up to her chest as she lies on her side. Her dark hair is cascaded against the floor and her mouth parted open. Oh my God!

"Shay!" I run over to her, falling onto my knees beside her and turning her onto her back. "Shay!" I check for a pulse, which I find and began to shake her lightly. 

In a matter of seconds, her eyes burst open and a yelp leaves her lips, her hands instinctively gripping ahold of my biceps in fright.

"Harry." She utters, breathlessly, her chest rising and falling rapidly. A look of pure terror is on her face as she stares back up at me with wide eyes. "What the hell?" She looks around frantically as I help her sit slowly.

"Thank God you're alright." I breathe out, dropping onto my bum on the floor beside her with my hands still on her shoulders as hers are still placed on my upper arms. I've just nearly had a heart attack seeing her lying on the ground. "What are you doing down here? I thought you were dead!"

Shay takes a deep breath and looks around the room before groaning to herself and dropping her head into one of her hands, the other still wrapped tightly around me.

"I must've fallen asleep."

"Well, yeah, but what were you doing here in the first place?" I question, trying to keep my tone at bay. I'm not angry she's down here, just purely worried. A few feet over and she would have been sleeping in the water. Shay exhales lightly, biting her lip before slowly looking up and into my eyes.

"I woke up and decided to walk around for a bit. I came down here and saw the hot tub. I set my feet in just to relax a little bit and I guess I fell asleep." She utters, seeming to me that she was in disbelief of her own words. "Wait a minute, what time is it?" She asks, once again grabbing ahold of both my eyes.

"Um, like ten."

"Ten?" She asks and I nod.

A small smile suddenly forms on her lips and one of her hands comes up to her mouth.

"Shay, you're kind of scaring me." I admit. Her expressions are not what I'm expecting of someone who has just woken up on a hard floor and definitely not from a girl who has such a different attitude last night.

"No, it's just I must have fallen asleep at like two." I nod my head slowly, not following where she's going with any of this. "That was like eight hours ago." Once again I nod, still quite confused. "I actually slept more than two hours without waking up." Then it occurs to me why she's smiling.

"Really?" She nods before continuing to lightly smile.

"I don't know what you put in the water here Mr. Styles, but keep it up." She says, pushing from me and standing to her feet.

"So, we're back to Mr. Styles then?" I ask, hoping that we aren't. I honestly hate when she calls me that, I'd much rather her call me anything other than that. And I quite like the way my name rolls off of her tongue.

"I don't know, maybe, I haven't decided yet." I chuckle at her response, shrugging my shoulders. Thinking back to what we were talking about previously, I get curious as to what she's telling me. I know she isn't sleeping well, but I really don't know that she can go no longer than two hours without waking.

"What do you mean by the fact that you can't sleep more than two hours without waking?" The smile suddenly escapes Shay's lips and a blank expression takes over. She shrugs her shoulders and looks anywhere other than me before walking past me and to the staircase. "Shay." I turn and watch her go up the stairs, biting onto her lip and her thumbnail. Clearly, she does not want me to know that fact. "Shay."

"I'm fine, I shouldn't have said anything." She calls over her shoulder as I follow her.

"Shay, you can talk to me." There's no response from the once happy girl that was sitting beside me. She's now gloomy again and I can't help but curse myself for that. "Shay."

"Drop it Harry, I shouldn't have said anything."

"Well, you called me Harry again so that means that I shouldn't drop it." I argue lightly, following her into my open kitchen. She walks over to the fridge, opening it and staring in before shutting it. "Listen, I know you like to keep your emotions and feelings bottled up, but if you don't talk to someone then you're going to drown yourself in your own thoughts." She freezes at my words, her back to me. Ever so slowly she turns around, continuing to bite down on her lip out of nervousness.

"I will when I'm ready." She mumbles, clearing her throat at the end before looking back around my kitchen. "I'm hungry, do you think you can get me something?" I eye her carefully, my eyes narrowing as I do so.

"Fine." I huff out, walking into my kitchen and opening up one of my cupboards. "I will drop it, for now, but only because you really need to eat."

"Thank you." She breathes out from behind me. I can't see her but I can sense the relieved look on her face.

"Doesn't mean I won't bring it up later."

"As long as you can last at least an hour without bringing it up then I'm good."




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