5SOS one shots (boys x Reader)


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39. The Only Reason

 

Now you’re saying everything has changed

And I’m afraid that I might be losing you

 

And every night that we spend alone

It kills me thinking of you on your own

And I wish I was back home next to you

 

“So we, uh, we got hotel rooms for the night,” Luke says and he’s even wincing at the amount of awkwardness that even he can hear in his own tone.  

Yeah?” comes Y/N’s voice. “Got your own room or are you rooming with one of the other boys?”    

 

“Own room,” he responds. “We can afford that now, you know,” he jokes light-heartedly, smiling when he hears her breathe out a chuckle. “So, um. How was your day?”   

Good. It was good,“ she says, and then they’re silent again. The both of them just breathing and not saying anything. Luke opens his mouth to say something else but then he’s shutting his mouth because he doesn’t know what to say and he doesn’t like it. Things have never been this awkward, this forced between the two of them. It doesn’t feel right and he fucking hates it. Y/N sighs then, “What are we doing, Luke?” She asks quietly.    

 

“What do you mean?” Luke mumbles softly and he knows, he knows what she’s talking about. He just doesn’t want to acknowledge it.    

 

You know what I’m talking about,“ comes her soft reply. ”What why are we doing this? This… It doesn’t feel right anymore. We’ve never been this… this tense before and I know you know exactly what I’m talking about. Something’s changed between us, Luke. Everything. Something. I don’t know.”   

 

Luke sits up from his previously horizontal position with his legs hanging off of the edge of the bed. His shoulders tense and he clenches his jaw, “Nothing changed, Y/N. Nothing’s changed. It’s the same. We’re the same,” he says and his tone is almost tinged with a desperation that he’s embarrassed to hear.    

 

She’s silent on the other end of the line. Again, it’s just the sound of them breathing. Then she blows out another soft sigh. “I, uh. I have to go.”   

 

“But – ”   

 

I’ll talk to you whenever. Love you,” she mumbles and then she’s cutting the call without waiting for a response.    

 

Luke just says in the new position he’s in – back straightened and shoulders tensed. The tele’s right in front of him and it isn’t turned on so he’s just looking right back at himself. He sees this blond kid with messy hair and sad eyes and a tense posture, phone still held up to his ear. And he knows that this kid is him and that he looks rather stupid with the phone held up to his ear even when there’s no one on the other end of the line, but he feels like he can’t move.    

 

He eventually manages to set the phone down onto the bed next to him. He’s scared. He’s scared shitless because he doesn’t want to lose Y/N and he’s been pretending that their awkward phone conversations weren’t as awkward as he was making them out to be. He’s been pretending because he knows that something – everything – has changed between them and he doesn’t know why but it has and he’s terrified about losing her.    

 

Luke ends up turning on his side, curling into himself and making him as small as he’ll ever be. He doesn’t want to be curled up into himself. He wants to have his arms wrapped around Y/N and have her hold him back and have their legs in a mess of tangled limbs. It hurts him, thinking about how she’s back home, probably alone, probably in the same position as him. And it absolutely kills

him to know that no matter how much he wishes he could have her in his arms again, he can’t because they’re at opposite ends of the world at they would be for another who knows how many months.   

 

Late night calls and another text

Is this as good as we’re gonna get?

Another timezone taking me away from you

“– and then there was this massive moth and I think I screamed loud enough to wake the whole neighbourhood,“    

 

Luke laughs, shaking his head in amusement. “Did anyone call the cops?”   

 

No. Although I probably wouldn’t be mad if they did because that was the most terrifying thing I’ve ever seen in my so many years of living,”   

 

"So many,” Luke teases.   

 

Shut up,“ Y/N laughs lightly. ”So what’s up with you?”   

 

“The usual. Amazing shows, interviews, meeting the fans – that sort of thing. Lots of travelling in the bus, too, and, like, – babe? Hello?” Luke frowns, pulling the phone away from his ear and then frowning even deeper when he realises that the phone call’s been cut off. He looks out the window then, realising that everything’s dark and it’s day time so it really shouldn’t be dark. They’re in a tunnel. That’s why the phone call had been cut.   

 

He waits till they’re out of the tunnel and then he’s going back to his phone. He’s ready to call Y/N back, but it’s at that moment that his phone decides it’s a good time to shut down and restart itself. “Are you fucking kidding me right now?” He mumbles under his breath, throwing his phone down onto the leather seat next to him in the back lounge.    

 

Three agonising minutes later, his phone’s finally okay again. And he’s ready to dial the number he knows again, only to receive a text from the girl himself.   

 

You probably went thru a tunnel. It’s late. Like really late. I really need sleep. Sorry Lukey :( x

Luke almost screams as his eyes finish reading the text. His hands go up to tug at his hair as he practically throws his phone across the back lounge (he’s got one of those armour cases on so it’s safe from cracks and shit) in frustration. Fuck tunnels. Fuck touring. Fuck timezones. Fuck them all.  

 

Through the tears I can hear that I shouldn’t have gone

Everyday it gets harder to stay away from you

So tell me…

 

Are we wasting time

Talking on a broken line?

Telling you I haven’t seen your face in ages

I feel like we’re as close as strangers

"Baby, please don’t cry, please, please, don’t cry,” Luke pleads, slender fingers carding through his hair. “I’m sorry I’m not there – ”   

 

“– that’s the problem, Luke!” she finally exclaims amidst sobs. “It’s been so fucking long and I can’t, I don’t know – ” she stutters over her words. “I haven’t seen you in person in so long and I miss you so fucking much. And I don’t even know when you’re going to come home because every time I think you’re going to come home, you tell me you’ve booked another gig, another interview, and I’m so tired of holding on… holding on to this.”   

 

"Y/N…” Luke trails off, his voice cracking. “You don’t mean that,” he says softly. “You don’t mean that.” His voice is sterner this time as he repeats it. She can’t mean that. She can’t.

 

Luke…”   

 

“I understand what you’re going through, Y/N! I understand better than anyone and it hurts more and more every day, okay?!” Luke finally raises his voice. “I haven’t seen you in person, either, in so fucking long that I’m afraid I’ve forgotten what you look like when it’s not through a shitty webcam or your phone’s camera. It takes so much restraint to not call you up in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep and all I want is you because you’re probably busy with other stuff and – ” he cuts himself off when he feels a stray tear dripping down his cheek.    

 

Luke leans his back against the wall, sliding down until he’s sat on the ground in the corridor of the venue they’re playing at. He’s hoping that no one walks by, not even any of his bandmates, because he doesn’t need anyone to see him fucking crying over how much he misses his girlfriend. “I know it’s selfish to ask, but I’m asking. Please, for the love of God, Y/N, please. Don’t give up on me. Don’t give up on us.”  

 

Six months since I went away

And I know everything has changed

But tomorrow I’ll be coming back to you

 

Luke bites down on his bottom lip. He’s biting down so hard that he’s surprised he’s not drawing blood. His blue eyes become a shade lighter as they get glassier as he stares at his girlfriend. Or, well, the onscreen image of his girlfriend filling up the entirety of his laptop screen.    

 

She looks back at him sadly, bringing the back of her hand up to her eyes, “I don’t know how long more I can do this for, Luke. I love you, yeah? I love you. A lot. But there’s just so much shit to deal with. I’ve got my own shit to deal with and you’re not here and some of your fans still insist on being twats and – ”   

 

“– That’s why we’re together, Y/N,” he cuts her off, tone almost pleading. “That’s what I’m here for. You’re not alone. You’ve got me. You’ll always have me. Share that burden you’ve got with me. And fuck those people, they don’t know you like I do. They don’t even know you, period. I know… I know it’s been six fucking months, but I’m coming home soon. I’m coming home tomorrow.”   

 

Things have changed, Luke. We’re not… We’re not the same anymore,“ she says softly. Sadly.    

 

"I’m coming home tomorrow, Y/N. Tomorrow. One day,” Luke’s voice cracks. “One more day and it’ll be you and me and I’ll make sure that you waiting for me wasn’t a mistake – that this, us, is meant to be. I’ll make sure to love every single inch of you and I’ll make sure you forget about all the times you’ve cried, and we’ll be okay. We’ll be okay, Y/N. Just…” a tear rolls down her cheek and he can almost feel a physical tug in his chest as he sees it, unable to do anything about it. “Please. One more day, my love. One more day.”  

                   
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