5SOS one shots (boys x Reader)


86. Photograph

Loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes

But it’s the only thing that I know

When it gets hard, you know it can get hard sometimes

It is the only thing that makes us feel alive


A hand goes to gently squeeze the shoulder of the boy with the dark hair and matching dark eyes, “Mate, we have to go.”   


Calum sniffles, pulling away from where his face is nuzzled in the crook of Y/N’s neck. He doesn’t take his eyes away from the beautiful girl before him, just nods and says, “Gimme a minute, Ash.”   


“How’d you know it’s me without even turning?” The older jokes, trying to ease the tension a bit because they both look so upset that it’s breaking his heart.   


Calum cracks a tiny grin, as does Y/N. They both glance at the older boy, “You sound like a kangaroo,” they say at the same time and Ashton’s handsome face falls into the most offended expression before he’s scoffing and walking away, his palm being showed to them in a motion of ‘talk to hand’, like the sassy twat he’s become.    


The young couple chortle at him as he swaggers away, swinging his hips from side-to-side in the most exaggerated manner because he doesn’t want them to be as upset as they already seem to be. He’s also doing it because Y/N has asked him to try and lighten the mood, even though she knew that he was going to give the two their privacy. She doesn’t want Calum to be so glum because when he’s upset it’s like a stab in the gut – and not just to her. Calum upset is like… seeing an injured puppy. No one likes to see that. No one wants to ever see that.   

Ashton glances at them over his shoulder, flashing them a dimpled grin. Calum laughs lightly, shaking his head as he ducks his head down and stares at his shoes. Y/N shoots the older boy a smile, to which he responds with a wink before he’s turning back around to give the two their time to say goodbye, even though they’re supposed to be boarding a flight to somewhere across the world right now.   


Calum is still staring at his shoes like they’re the most interesting thing he’s ever seen, biting on his bottom lip. The bottom lip’s that’s started to tremble and she feels like she’s going to start crying even though she’s swore to herself that she won’t cry because this was his dream and he wasn’t going to be gone forever. He was going to make thousands of people happy, and he was going to come home.    


“Hey,” Y/N coos and he looks up. Her hand goes to rest on his cheek and Calum’s instantly leaning into her touch, his eyes fluttering shut and long eyelashes brushing his skin. “You have to go,” she says quietly as her thumb rubs small circles on his slightly uneven skin – courtesy of the acne that’s grown on his cheeks.    


She bites on her bottom lip, running her thumb across the biggest pimple on the skin and he snaps his eyes open, pouting down at her. “Don't touch it.”   


“I told you to wash your hands before you touched your face, didn’t I?” She shoots him a flat look.   


“I did!” He protests, a tiny grin coming unto his lips.   


“I was there! You totally didn’t!” Y/N laughs in response, taking her hand away from his cheek to interlock with the other one that’s resting at the back of his neck and playing idly with his hair.   


Calum smirks then, “S'your fault that I’ve got the pimples then. Because you distracted me.”


“God, you’re an idiot,” she rolls her eyes.   


Calum blinks, furrowing his brows, “What did God do? Why’s He an idiot?” He asks in a very confused tone, and then he’s bursting into laughter like it’s the best damn thing that he’s ever said and he’s the most hilarious human being alive, while Y/N just groans, dropping her forehead down to rest onto his shoulder.    


When he’s done with his little fit of laugher, he pulls her away from his shoulder, wrapping his arms tighter around her waist as he draws her closer and leans his forehead down so that they’re pressed up against each other. “M'gonna miss you. So much.”   


“Me too,” she says in a quiet tone, biting on her bottom lip.


Don’t cry, goddammit. Don’t cry.


“Will call you,” he promises in the same quiet tone that she’s used. “Everyday. I promise.”  


Loving can heal, loving can mend your soul

And it’s the only thing that I know


He means it when he says he’s going to call her everyday. She’s become his sanity. People would probably say that he’s too young to be thinking that he’s in love with her, but he doesn’t care. Because he’s in love with her. He’s so in love with her.    


She’d saved him, as cheesy as it sounded. She saved him from himself.    


You know those days when you wake up just feeling like complete and utter shit? Like even though you know that you’re not a complete failure, that you’ve got good things going on in your life – you still feel like you’ve let everyone down by just existing? And you want to talk to someone, God, you want to talk to someone so badly, but you don't because you don’t want to bother them and you’re afraid that they’ll tell you to suck it up – even if they are your best friends. So you keep it all bottled in, until one day: you lose it. You just break down. Doesn’t matter where, or what triggered it, you just break down and you can’t breathe because you can’t get enough air into your lungs on time and tears are streaming down your face like it’s been raining when it's really just you finally letting go.    


That’s what happened to Calum Hood. It wasn’t the first time it’s happened, either. It happened once before, whilst he was on tour. It was about one in the morning and he was sharing a hotel room with Luke – the younger having already been passed out from exhaustion. So he curled into himself on the bed and when he realised he couldn’t quieten his sobs, he staggered into the bathroom and took a shower and disguised his tears amongst the water coming down from the shower head.    


The second time he broke down, he was in public. He was in the middle of a park that was about a half hour walk away from his house since he’d already been feeling like shit for the entirety of the day and decided that a walk would do him good. It didn’t. Not really. He ended up slumping against the thick bark of a tree, holding a hand to his chest because he couldn’t breathe but he couldn’t stop crying and it was embarrassing enough already. Thank God it was already almost midnight and the people who saw him were those assholes who just stared at then walked away.    


One girl, though. She didn’t just stare and walk away. She walked up to him, cautious and nervous, asked if he was alright. He shook his head, choked out the words that he couldn’t breathe. She put her hands on either side of his shoulders, then using her fingers to tilt his chin so that he was looking at her. Made him follow her breathing patterns. Made her keep eye contact with him, even though his eyes were blurry from the unshed tears. She had managed to calm him down and Calum had started to get embarrassed when she breathed out a sigh of relief, pulling him into his arms, telling him things like it’d be okay, he’d be okay, he wasn’t alone anymore.


And it would be totally cliché to say that he fell in love with her right then and there, but Calum was sure that he’d fallen in love with her right then and there. He hadn’t even gotten a proper look at her face yet, and he was already sure that he’d fallen in love with – mostly because the way her body felt against his was the greatest thing ever, and her voice – her sweet, melodic voice – was something that he decided he could listen to for the rest of forever.    


Loving Y/N hadn’t been hard, but it hadn’t been particularly easy. But it was all Calum knew how to do, and he’d be damned if he ever had to let that go.  


I swear it will get easier, remember that with every piece of ya

And it’s the only thing to take with us when we die


“Day 1 and I already miss you.”   


“Day 4 and Luke’s stolen my underwear. Again.” “– he’s lying, Y/N!" "Why would I lie about you stealing my underwear, Lucas?"


"Day 10 and it’s a – ” “DAY OFF! DAY OFF! DAY OFF! DAY OFF!”   


“Day twenty… one? Probably. I miss you. So much.”   


“I know I’m supposed to be the one telling you that it’ll get easier but, fuck, Y/N, I miss you… so fucking much.”


“You and I, we don’t wanna be like themmmm – ” “– who is them?" "Fuck off, Michael.”   


“Literally just got off of Skype with you but I already miss your stupid face. So here’s my pretty face for your enjoyment.”   


“Day 45 – not much longer now!” “– are you talking about your dick?” “… I fucking hate this band.”   


“Day fuck-me-if-I-know. I still miss you. Oh wait! It’s day 56! HAH. I know it. So you have to fuck me now.”   


“Wake up and Skype me, because I want your face to be the last thing I see before I fall asleep. And yes, you have to wake up, watch me fall asleep, and then you can go back to sleep. Although I’m pretty sure it’s like noon back home. Lazy arse.”   


“Heeyyyy," – hiccup – "I love… you. A lot." hiccup – "Y/N? Where’re you?" – hiccup – "Wait thissss isn’t FaceTime.”  


You can keep me

Inside the necklace you got when you were sixteen

Next to your heartbeat, where I should be

Keep it deep within your soul

And if you hurt me

That’s okay, baby, there’ll be worse things

Inside these pages you just hold me

And I won’t ever let you go


“Oh my God, I’ve missed you,” Calum mumbles as he tightens his arms around Y/N’s waist, one hand going to the back of her head and pushing it into the crook of his neck whilst he does the same, and he continues pulling her impossibly closer.    


“Missed… you… too…” she chokes out against his skin, “Also… really… missed… breathing…”   


“Fuck,” he curses, releasing her from his hold and Y/N takes in a dramatic breath of air that has Calum rolling his eyes.    


He wants to scowl at her, but he really can’t because he’s missed her so much and now she’s right there in front of him. His smile’s never wavering from his thick lips. His hand goes to brush away the stray piece of hair’s that fallen into her face and she’s smiling up at him with her beautiful smile and he feels like the luckiest man on Earth. Calum’s hand goes to the back of her back, pushing her forward slightly so that their foreheads are pressed against each other and then he’s leaning down and pulling her top lip between the both of his. He moves his lips against hers and she kisses him back, one hand going to gently hold onto the underside of his strong jaw and the other going to rest idly on his hip.    


Calum’s fingers brush upon a chain around her neck and he pulls away with a curious look on his face – because she doesn’t usually use necklaces unless she’s dressed like really proper nice and the necklace is a nice accessory. She’s in a pair of jean shorts and one of Calum’s All Time Low t-shirts (which looked really damn good on her) and a pair of flip-flops.    


He pulls out the pendant from where it’s hidden underneath the top and she smiles shyly at him, further peaking his curiosity. “What is it?”   


“A necklace,” she replies smartly and he scoffs.   


“Yeah, no shit, genius,” he laughs.    


“I got it when I was… Sixteen, I reckon. Never had anything to put in it. Now I do,” she adds in quietly, a shy smile gracing her lips.    


His brows furrow lightly and he uses his two hands and fumbling fingers to pop open the locket. It’s in the shape of a book and on one side, there’s an engraving that reads ’there’s nowhere you can be that isn’t where you’re not meant to be and no matter where it is, you will be okay' and he cracks a smile at it, because that’s what she’d repeated to him over and over till he believed her; the night they met. On the other side’s a picture of Calum and Y/N. Y/N’s kissing his cheek with her eyes closed and he’s got that shocked expression on – mouth agape and brows furrowed with wide eyes. (He swears that he does other facial expressions but it’s really hard to believe that anymore, seeing as how he looks confused in every band photo ever released.)  


Calum looks back at Y/N, only to see that she’s already looking at him; with an almost nervous expression on her gorgeous face. His lips curve up the slightest bit at the corners then he’s leaning down to gently kiss her on the mouth, “Good God,” he mutters against her lips with his eyes still shut in content. “I love you.”


When I'm going, I will remember how you kissed me

Under the lamppost back on Sixth street

Hearing you whisper through the phone


“Two months,” Calum mumbles against Y/N’s lips.   


“60 days,” she nods.   


“Quite a number of hours,"    ”


An even more astonishing number of minutes,“   


"And I will miss you everyday I’m not by your side,” Calum says, fully pulling back from her to open his eyes and look at her.   


His brown eyes dart across her face – taking in every curve and dent, every little mark, every little thing about her beautiful face. She sees so many flaws but all Calum can see is fuckin’ perfection. “You’re so beautiful,” he mutters under his breath, then he’s leaning down to kiss her again because he could kiss her for years and he’d never get sick of it.   


“You have to go,” she mumbles and he pulls away with a heavy sigh. He turns to look over his shoulder to see that she’s right and the other three boys are waiting for him. Well. They were watching him and Y/N, but once Calum turned to look at them, they were suddenly so much interested in their luggage tags and blank walls and the lights hanging over them. “Love you.”   


“Love you more, Y/N.”   


“Go,” she says, pushing him away gently with a soft smile coming unto her lips. “Go make some ovaries explode.”   


“That can’t be healthy,” he scrunches his nose up adorably.    


Y/N shrugs, “Probably isn’t,” she says nonchalantly then they’re both just grinning at each other, soft laughs escaping their lips.


“Wait for me to come home," Calum says as he leans in to kiss her one last time, savouring the feel of her soft lips against his and the taste of her before he’s got to let go and not get to touch or kiss her for two fucking months.    


She smiles, pulling him for another quick kiss, "Always.”

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