5SOS one shots (boys x Reader)


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76. Oh..

Calum awakes with a gasp, eyes flying open and body soaked in sweat and his chest heaving up and down so rapidly like he’s just run a damn marathon. He sees stars because his eyes aren’t focusing yet, and when they do— it’s too dark to see anything.

 

But then— a gentle hand lands on his shoulder, then another is sliding across his back. Calum startles slightly, but then he’s turning to face the owner of the arms and when his eyes land on Y/N’s concerned and confused frown, he instantly relaxes. His heart slows down, and it’s like a sudden warmth washes over him.

 

“You okay?” She asks quietly, voice coarse from sleep, hands rubbing his back comfortingly.

 

Calum doesn’t say anything, just shakes his head, because he’s just had a nightmare about fucking demons possession and he hasn’t gotten nightmares in ages, and it’s making him out to be such a wimp but it’s Y/N. He can tell her anything and she wouldn’t judge. Laugh, maybe, a few days after. But never make fun of.

 

So he leans into her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and burying his face into the crook of her neck. She doesn’t say anything more, just— holds him. Runs her fingers through his hair. Takes in deep and deliberate breaths, so that her heartbeat is steady and calm.

 

And Calum’s okay again— falling into a dreamless sleep.

 

 

 

 

Calum wakes up before Y/N the next day. Their fingers are loosely interlocked, and they’re not cuddling, but her head is resting against his shoulder. But Calum feels as warm as he would if they had been cuddling— it’s a feeling inside that gives him the warmth, not the physical connection.

 

His eyes trail over her face. There’s marks on her cheek from the pillow that she’d been sleeping on, her hair resembles nothing short of a rat’s nest, her lips are parted slightly and he’s pretty sure that she’s drooling a little, but— fuck, he’s never seen someone more perfect.

 

This is love, a little voice tells him. You’re in love with her. You want her to be the one. This is love— and you’ve finally fallen so deeply into it.

 

Calum inhales sharply. This— this wasn’t supposed to happen. Not now. Not this early.

 

Y/N makes a sound in her sleep, turning over and effectively separating their interlocked fingers. Calum turns to look at her, eyes wide with panic and his heart beating so fast that he’s afraid it might beat right out of his chest.

 

He needs to— get out of there. He needs to get out. Now.

 

 

 

 

Y/N’s not exactly sure what she did wrong, but there definitely is something. She’s thought about it, quite a lot, but nothing comes to mind. Everything was fine between them. They haven’t had any fights, she hadn’t accidentally stood him up (she’d triple checked), and he hadn’t said anything about what she’d done that caused— this.

 

This being the whole let’s-avoid-Y/N-for-no-fucking-reason that Calum’s currently executing out so well. It started little— him saying that he was busy or had other plans, when she’d asked him out on dates. She understood, of course, she’s not going to make him cancel his other plans just because she wants to spend time with him. Then that turned into a decreasing amount of texts, until there were none at all.

 

They went from texting and snapchatting each other almost every moment of the day, to maybe one text per day. Said text usually consisting of cheesy pick-up lines from Y/N (i.e. my doctor says i’m lacking from a lack of vitamin u) only to get a detached and half-assed reply from Calum (i.e. sorry i’m busy) and it sucks.

 

So— she pulls away. Because that’s how she is. And it’s (sadly) clear that Calum’s obviously got other things occupying his mind (and she’s not talking about the studio or the band, because she’s seen the pictures of him at the club on the internet) so—

 

She pulls away. She slowly gives up— because if Calum doesn’t want her anymore then she is not going to beg and whine for him to. If Calum doesn’t want her, then fine. She’ll let him go. And she’ll live a damn good life without him, because if he’s just going to randomly detach himself like that, for no good reason, then why did she ever think about a future with him was a good idea?

 

 

 

 

“— I even met a girl over there and fell in love.”

 

 

 

 

Calum pushes open the doors to the club, breathing out a sigh of relief when the silence greets him. There’s not many people out there, probably because it’s an alleyway and there is a club right there, but still. He blows out another sigh, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it up, then going to sit on a lonely wooden crate placed on the ground.

 

He’d usually be all up for clubbing— getting drunk and dancing with the girls who seem to materialise out of thin air. (They’d probably been there the whole time, but Calum’s probably always been too preoccupied with getting drunk first so it’s understandable that he doesn’t notice them.)

 

(There’s also the fact that he can’t look at another girl in a way that promises anything more, because his mind’s stuck on that one girl that he’s pulling himself away from, and he’s not even sure is his girlfriend anymore.)

 

(He hates himself for it.)

 

“Hey,” Ashton greets, just as Calum’s titled his head back and blew out the smoke. Calum turns, looking at him with a half-smile and a raised eyebrow. Ashton shrugs, “Saw you come out here. Figured you could use some company.”

 

Calum smiles, but he shakes his head. “’m good, man, thanks. You can go back in.”

 

Ashton doesn’t go back in—joins him on the wooden crate, instead. It’s just about big enough for the two of them. “Are you, though?” He asks, peering over at Calum with wide and concerned eyes. Calum hasn’t seen him drink anything more than that one bottle of beer. He’s sober as hell, which means he’ll know if Calum’s lying.

 

Calum shrugs, taking another drag of his cigarette.

 

Ashton bumps his shoulder with his own, “C’mon, man. Talk to me. You’ve been— off, lately. We’ve all noticed.” He admits when Calum eyes him dubiously. “Just didn’t want to mention it. Figured you’d tell us if you needed help.”

 

“I’m fine. Really. I’m good. Fantastic. Amazing. Fine. Perfectly fine.

 

Ashton raises a brow. “One more time, then I’ll believe you.”

 

“I’m—” Calum shakes his head, breathing a laugh. He licks his lips, peering over at the older boy. “You said you— fell in love. Did you mean it?”

 

“Are you going to tell me that you’re in love with me.” Ashton deadpans. Calum snorts, and Ashton cracks a grin, nudging him lightly again. “… Yeah. ‘course I meant it. I— I love her. I love her,” he says earnestly, tone soft.

 

Calum takes another drag, tilting his head back until he hits the brick walls. “Aren’t you— I dunno. Scared? Like— what if— fuck, I don’t know. What if you’re missing out because you’re in love now?”

 

Ashton eyes him disbelievingly, “Dude, are you even listening to yourself?” He laughs. “I’m in love,” he repeats, shrugging his shoulders. “I’m in love with this girl, and she loves me back. I’m not going to miss out on anything. Like— what? Casual hook ups? One night stands?” Ashton drawls out. “That’s not a life I wanna live man. It’s fun, yeah, in the beginning, but like— I’m twenty-one. I just— I don’t see the thrill of it anymore. I’m… happy. I’m happy.

 

Calum doesn’t say anything. What he does do— is think it over. Ever since he’d had that little realisation and started to draw himself away, becoming detached and even cold, he’d never once been able to stop thinking about her. Christ— even when he was pissed drunk, the only constant thoughts were of Y/N, Y/N, Y/N. He’d never tried to get with anyone else, even when he had girls throwing themselves at him, because— he physically could not. He was not even the slightest bit physically attracted to any of them— because Y/N was the only one he could think about.

 

His thoughts still scare him. About how Y/N’s the one, about how, in the back of his mind, he knows that he’s going to want to marry her. It’s terrifying, but then— he saw this thing once, where it said that most people found the person that they’re going to marry by the time they’re sixteen. And another thing: where it said that being in love didn’t make their heart beat faster, it made their heart calm down, and a feeling of warmth flood over them— because that person is home.

 

Calum straightens his back, throwing his cigarette to the ground and crushing the still-burning filter with his boot. Ashton raises a brow over at him, and Calum mumbles out a, “Something I have to do,” before he’s dashing off.

 

 

 

 

Y/N opens the door with joggers and a loose t-shirt, because she’d expected the pizza man. When she looks up from the cash in her hand, she’s met with the sight of someone who is definitely not the pizza man.

 

His eyes are almost crazed, hair a bit frizzy, and he’s sweating and panting to catch his breath like he’d run the whole way there. “Hi,” he breathes out between sharp inhales.

 

Y/N blinks at him, unimpressed. Because it’s been close to three weeks since she last saw him, and the last time she even texted him was over a week ago. She’s pretty sure they’re not even together anymore, so, “What are you doing here?”

 

“What— a guy can’t visit his girlfriend?” He tries to joke, but Y/N just arches a brow over at him.

 

“Sure he can. Problem is, I’m not your girlfriend.” She says, without bothering to sugarcoat it. Calum’s face falls and he looks like he’s just been kicked in the gut, but Y/N clenches her jaw. “So, again: what are you doing here?”

 

“Look, I—” he pauses, tugging at his hair. “I’m sorry. I fucked up. Okay. I get it. Like—” his tongue darts out to run across his lips. “I shouldn’t have ran, I know that. I know that, but I did, I ran away like a fuckingcoward, because I’m scared. I’ve— I’ve never been in a serious relationship before you, alright, and— this—it’s all so fucking new to me. I’ve never fallen in love before, you know? But with you? You make this seem soeasy. I didn’t even realise I was falling in love in love with you until I— fell. And you scare me, okay? This scares me so much, because I’m just— I’m me. I’m in a fucking band, I’m never around, and—” he sort of just stops, mouth open but no words coming out.

 

Calum shakes his head, tongue darting out to lick at his lips again. “You’re my best friend. Everything’s so easywith you, and I didn’t want to lose you. If I told you that I loved you then— I— I thought,” he shakes his head, clenches his jaw. “I don’t know what I thought. I just—” he inhales shakily, and his eyes are glassy.

 

He blows out a slow breath, letting his eyes fall shut before opening them again. “The thing is— I’m in love with you. I am ridiculously in love with you to the point that I could just sit and stare at you all fucking day, no matter how creepy that sounds. I’m in love with your smile, your laugh, your kindness, your sarcasm, your everything. I’m in love with every single part of you, and I am fucking terrified about it— but I’d rather be with the woman I love and face this fear, head-on… than not have you at all. Because all I’ve done since I left, is make myself fucking miserable. You are a part of me, and I would not want it any other way, Y/N.”

 
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