5SOS one shots (boys x Reader)


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75. mess pt 2

There’s this saying— about how time waits for no one. How life will go on, no matter how unprepared you are for it to go on. And Y/N’s long since learned that things change, people change, and it doesn’t mean that she’s to forget the past. Rather, she’s to treasure it, and move on.

 

She lets herself wallow in self-pity, curled up on her bed and listening to her best friend ramble about how sheknew this was going to happen, how Calum was always a fucking fuckboy, anyway (that gets a choked laugh from Y/N) and how she deserves so much better than him, so good fucking riddance.

 

Then because life goes on, she moves on with her life. She blocks his number, she unfollows him on Twitter, she changes her home screen. She’d almost gone and deleted the pictures that she had with him, but with one look at a photo of her hugging him from behind and hiding her face in his neck and the brilliant smile on his face— she finds she can’t delete those. Not yet.

 

She gets stopped sometimes, in the street by random fans— they ask her how she and Calum are doing. She doesn’t bother lying— tells them that they’re not together anymore, because sometimes things just don’t work out. They get these looks on their faces, like they’ve got an inside joke, but they smile at her and— that’s that.

 

It happens a couple more times. These fans looking at each other like they’re having a realisation about something, some kind of inside thing, after she says they’re not together anymore.

 

Curiosity overpowers Y/N and she’s googling Calum Hood in the next moment she’s aware of. There are links to his twitter, to the band’s Wikipedia page, to his Instagram. But there are also links to a couple different blog posts and she clicks them— and she shouldn’t feel anything, but she does.

 

Because those posts are talking about how Calum looks so tired and so sad, like they’ve never seen him before. Hell— Y/N’s only ever seen him look like that once before, when he was so overwhelmed and missing home so much that he called her on Skype whilst already a distraught mess. And she knows for a fact that an hour later, he was out meeting friends and had she not witnessed the breakdown first hand, she wouldn’t have believed that Calum was, in fact, not okay.

 

Y/N takes in a deep breath. For some reason, she still cares about the shithead who made a bet to get into her pants. For some reason, she’s still concerned about him— when she shouldn’t be. She should not care.

 

(But she does.)

 

So with another deep breath, she unblocks his number. It’s not like a flurry of texts will come in, because whatever he might have sent her while his number was blocked are gone.

 

Her fingers hover over the keypad as a new text thread with his name on the top is opened. She bites on her bottom lip, thinking about what to say— because what can she say? ‘Hey, saw some pictures of you looking like shit. Just here to tell you that you don’t really have the right to feel like shit when you brought this upon yourself. Also why do I still care?’

 

She ends up not even having to type out anything before her phone is beeping with a text from Calum himself.

 

Saw a little kitten today that wouldn’t stop bugging me till it got cuddled. Kinda reminded me of you. I miss you. I’m sorry.

 

And it’s just so— it’s like he’s so used to sending messages like that, and the proclamation of him missing her and being sorry is just a signature that he’s adapted to now. It makes her wonder exactly how many times he’s tried to contact her since the fallout.

 

Y/N takes in a deep breath. Before she can second-guess herself, she’s calling him. He picks up after one ring, a breathless “hello?” echoing into her ears, like he can’t believe she’s calling him.

 

“I—” she starts, but then she’s lost for words.

 

Calum doesn’t seem to mind. “Y/N. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. I— it was stupid— the bet. It was sofucking stupid and I don’t even know why I thought it’d be a good idea. And I should’ve— should’ve called it off the minute I knew I was falling, but then I just— I’m stupid. I’m stupid and I didn’t want to seem— fuck. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please talk to me. Please don’t leave me. I— you’re one of my best friends and I don’t want to lose you. Please.”

 

“It’s—” Y/N pauses, licking her lips. “It’s not okay,” her voice is soft, “— what you did. No one deserves to be…played like that.”

 

I know. I know. I’m sorry. I’m so bloody sorry—” Calum repeats, like a mantra. “I fucked up, I know that. But— you’re still one of the most important people in my life, just— please. I’m fucking— I’m falling apartwithout you, all right. You’re— you’re the only other person I have that makes me feel normal. Please.”

 

“You have no right to say that,” she says quietly. “You are not allowed to be falling apart—” she quotes, “—when you’re the one who fucked things up by yourself, all because of your stupid male pride or whatever. So just— leave me alone, all right? Stop trying t’— to contact me, and, just— move on. I’m not worth it, you clearly know that, too, since you only got with me to sleep with me, and—”

 

That’s not—

 

“It is, though. It is.” She takes in another deep breath. “It was good while it lasted, but now it’s over. And it’ll stay that way. So. Move on. Forget about me, and I’ll forget about you.”

 

Her voice cracks but she pretends it doesn’t. He makes a pathetic sound on the other end of the line that almost breaks her— sounds like he’d just sobbed. But she pretends to not hear it. (Because if she doesn’t, she’ll be taking him back in a heartbeat, no matter how much she tries to pretend that that wouldn’t happen.)

 

“Goodbye,” she whispers, and then she’s cutting the call before he can say anything else.

 

(Calum listens to her. He deserved it, everything she said— he knows he does, but it didn’t mean that it hurt any less.

 

But he lets her go.

 

Because letting go doesn’t mean giving up— it means accepting that some things weren’t meant to be.

 

And maybe—no matter how much Calum wish it wasn’t so—maybe Calum and Y/N were never meant to be. Maybe now’s just not their time, maybe it’ll never be their time, but—

 

When he sees her the next time, about a year later, he approaches her with a smile. Hoping for the damn best. Because he’s not giving up one of the best damn things that’s ever happened to him.)

 
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