5SOS one shots (boys x Reader)


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69. Lie pt 2

The thing is – they fix it. They fix their relationship – that fucked up assumption and lie on Calum’s part, the shite attempt at shutting him out for longer than three days on Y/N’s part – they fix it.

And they’re okay after that. They are. But at the same time, they’re not. Something’s shifted in their relationship, ever since that fight and now it’s like – like nothing’s going right. Petty arguments that would end up playful and end in them basically making out whilst laughing in each other’s mouths about how stupid they were turned into legitimate arguments that would leave them both yelling and breathing hard and starting even more arguments. It’s gotten to the point of no return – in which they can’t even have a normal fucking conversation because all they’re ever doing is fighting.

But – Calum doesn’t want to lose her. So he throws all of those arguments aside, like they mean nothing, and then he apologises if he’s the one who’s started the argument, and they’ll be cuddling in bed at night like nothing’s changed. But then the whole thing repeats the next day, like a bad angsty teen romance film on repeat.

Till this one day, after Y/N’s stormed out of his house and Calum’s slumped himself onto the sofa. Calum goes out, needing some air, and he takes a walk – then he sees it. Sees her through the window of the coffee shop that she’s in. She’s just exiting, but she’s with this dude, smiling, laughing, and he’s looking at her like she’s hung the moon itself and. Calum can’t breathe. (He knows, though, he knows that no matter how fucked up their situation may be, she would never cheat on him. She would never go on a date with someone else whilst they’re still, technically, together. But seeing that – he can’t stop himself as he freezes in place, eyes fixed on her through the glass window and jaw clenched tightly.)

Y/N happens to glance up, then, and her eyes land on Calum almost immediately. Her smile drops and then she’s staring back at him. She’s just – staring. And he stares back.

- - -

“Who was he?” Calum asks before he’s even fully stepped into Y/N’s bedroom.

She turns to look at him, rolling her eyes. “An old friend.”

“You looked pretty fucking happy for him to just be an old friend.” He spits, walking further into her bedroom.

Y/N raises a brow, “I haven’t seen him since I was a little kid, Calum. God forbid I be happy to see someone I haven’t seen in years, right?” She lets out a mirthless laugh, shaking her head.

"So what? You want him, instead, is that it?” Calum bites out, can’t help himself from asking.

She frowns, “We were talking. Having a catch-up. Friends do that.”

“Yeah and couples are supposed to go on dates and talk and not fight every fucking day!” Calum finally yells out, throwing his hands up in exasperation. He watches Y/N get to her feet, brows still set in a frown. “Maybe if you were so fucking happy – with him – then you should just fucking date him, instead.” He seethes.

"Are you – ” she starts, only to shake her head and run her fingers through her hair. “Jesus Christ, how densecould you possibly be?! It wasn’t like we were on a goddamn date. All it was – was me getting a drink and thenbumping into him. How the bloody hell does that count as us being on a date?!”

"You were obviously so much happier with him than with me! So why not just go ahead and fuckin’ date him?!” He points a finger out the window behind him, inadvertently referring to the scene he’d saw earlier. “Why not just fucking end this shit and go prance around with your new boy?!” He asks, breathing heavy. Y/N’s glaring at him as hard as he’s glaring at her. Calum scoffs, shaking his head. “You know what? I’ll do it for you. Fuck this, we’re done. I’m done.”

Y/N practically gapes at him. “So you see me talking to some – some guy – on the fucking street, someone I haven’t seen since I was a little kid, and – that’s it? You’re ending this because of that?” Y/N almost demands, wide-eyed, dumbstruck and near tongue tied.

"I saw you – talking to a guy. And you were smiling.” Calum snaps, hissing out the words, almost. Then it’s like he just – deflates. It’s like he was a helium-filled balloon that’s finally lost it’s contents and is now falling, falling, falling – due to reach the ground at any given moment. His fingers tug at his hair harshly, inhaling deeply, and he perches himself on the edge of her bed, body slumped in defeat. He’s just so – so tired.

"It was nothing, I swear to God. It was nothing.” Y/N insists, shaking her head. She doesn’t move towards him but Calum sees the hesitant step she’d almost taken from where he was staring at the ground, at her feet; for lack of a better thing to stare at.

And when he looks up – finally looks up – he knows his eyes are glassy and maybe if he blinks a couple more times, a tear drop will start its course down the curve of his cheekbone. “I know,” he says – voice no higher than a whisper. “But you were – happy. You were smiling and – laughing. And. It – it wasn’t with me.

Y/N doesn’t say anything. She just – looks at him. What he would give to be able to read her mind – to know what was running through her head. To know if she was thinking that exact same thing he was – that they weren’t good for each other. They were – toxic. They didn’t even each other out anymore, didn’t complement each other anymore – all revealed because of that one stupid, stupid fight.

(But maybe it was a good thing – that fight. Because if they never had that happen then they would’ve never realised how fucking toxic, fucking poisonous, they were for each other.)

Calum sniffles, propping his elbows up on his knees as he covers his face with his hands. Then he looks up, shaking his head, “I’m not. You – we.” Why won’t his brain work, goddammit.

But Y/N nods, taking in a deep breath. And it hits him like a tidal wave just how tired she looks. “I know,” is all she mouths, a single tear dripping out of the corner of her eye.

But Calum needs to say this – needs to explain himself, even though she understands. So he says, “I love you,” with full conviction and if he were hoping to phase her, he’s failed. Because she’s just looking back at him with the same facial expression as before.

"I do. Love you. But – it’s. We’re not – I can’t.” He shakes his head again, inhaling deeply as he pushes himself off the bed, getting to his feet. “You deserve happiness. I know you don’t think much of yourself, that you don’t deserve anything – but you do. You do. You deserve the world, someone who’ll make you smile even when you feel like falling apart, someone who’ll make you laugh when you’re close to choking on your tears. Someone who’ll – someone who’s not me.”

And Calum doesn’t know what he’s expecting her to reply, but he’s not shocked when she nods in the most minuscule manner, saying, “I know.”

He takes the few steps forward, so that he’s stood in front of her now. She’s peering up at him through her eyelashes and her eyes are a shade of stained glass that he wants artworks out of. He lifts a hand, cupping her cheek, thumb grazing the smallest of circles against her skin. (He pretends to not notice how she immediately leans into his touch because that will make this so much harder.) Y/N smiles, just a small one, one corner of her lips turning up higher than the other. Calum can’t help the smile that he returns.

"You are – the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” he says, pressing his forehead onto hers, hand going to the back of her head, whispering the words as though they’re sacred.

Y/N brings a hand to the back of his head – doing the same – pressing their foreheads harder against each other. “As you are, mine,” she whispers back.

Calum gulps, swallowing loudly, leaning forward and placing the softest pressure against her lips with his own. She stays there – and that’s it. It’s just lips on lips. It’s poetic, almost – a symbol. Calum pulls back, breathing out a quiet sigh and slowly opening his eyes. Y/N does the same, and they’re just looking back at each other – foreheads no longer touching but they’re not so far away. (Not yet.)

"Can you promise me one thing?”

“Anything.”

“Think of me. Always think of me.” Calum says and the only thing running through his mind is selfish, selfish, selfish, but he couldn’t stop himself from saying it. He wouldn’t stop himself from saying it.

But Y/N nods. “Only if you promise to do the same.” She says, a hint of a smile on her lips.

Calum’s never been good at keeping his promises – he acts out before he can stop himself. He does things before he remembers certain promises he’s made. But this time, when he nods, he means it. He’ll think of her throughout every hour of every day because even though it didn’t turn out to be the ‘happily ever after’ with the fairytale ending that he’d wished for, Y/N is still the single best thing that’s ever happened to him. And he will always be thinking of her.

Even as he walks out of her bedroom, leaving her watching after him, and walks out of her house – he’s still thinking of her. And he suspects that he won’t ever stop thinking about her.

 
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