A Handful of Poems

"I wish to be the ignorant raindrop, sometimes, to think that it was my fault after all of this. Alas,/ It was all a bitter execution of will that led me to her, killed her, and soaked my world with tears."

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2. I Love You, But

I love you, but

I’ve lost your pretty laugh.

I love you, but

They say it is your fault.

I love you, but

Now I cannot see you.

 

I’m lost in the same sea that swallowed your heart,

In the simple buzz that tore you apart.

Their laughing eyes, hid behind their insecure lashes,

Batting with each envious breath.

 

But the funny part of it all is that you did not care,

Not until they unveiled their alluring lair.

It was furnished with everything you wished to have:

A soft bed, worn couch, loud music.

 

You taught me so much, as if preparing me for now,

Guiding me from stern to bow,

And showing me that it was okay to close my eyes,

If only for a short time now and again.

 

However, now you are swept up with the wind,

Mixed with bland hay, you’re the pin,

The little glimmer I’m more than desperate to find.

In hopes of you, I invited in these monsters.

 

And now, my love, they stare at me with those dead eyes,

Asking their dead questions and, like swarming flies,

They pick away at my clenched hands, shaking with a beating memory.

My hands feel too warm without you.

 

Everything feels too warm, too sunny, too joyful each morning.

It’s as if the world doesn’t know it should be mourning.

Sometimes, I forget as well, I’m ashamed to say, and for that I am sorry.

Don’t worry – I remember once more.

 

Now, my dear, I must leave you with this note.

Please read it, it’s my one hope.

I must go and sit with monsters. There I am waiting for you.

However, I must say,

 

I love you, but

I’m scared I’ll find your path.

I love you, but

I sometimes forget why.

I love you, but

The monsters are calling me, my love -

 

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