I Am Not Afraid To Walk This World On Tour

This is the sequel to I Am Not Afraid To Walk This World Alone.

Safe from her father, Riley is asked on tour with My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy and Panic! At The Disco. She believes for a while that her struggles are over, but are they?


1. Chapter One - One Last Job.

Beep. Beep. Beep. I groan and roll over in bed, reaching for my alarm. As I hit the stop button, the door is flung open and I pull my sheets over my head. Gerard comes bounding over to the bed and yanks away my black bedsheets. I scream and curl into a ball. 

"JESUS GEE! It's freezing!" I cry.

"Sorry! I was sent to get you up for breakfast... Unless you want it in bed?" I sit up.

"No. I'll be down soon, gimme ten?"

"Okay..." He reaches the door before turning to face me again. "Riley?"

"Yes, Gee?" 

"You don't have to do today. You know that, right?"

"That's where you're wrong. I have to face him and show him and myself that I am better without him."

"Riley," He walks back over and crouches by the side of my bed. "If you do this, the wall that you have spent ages knocking down will just pile right back up stronger."

"I promise it won't. I will leave if I have to. I just want to show him that he no longer has control over me." 

"Well, I'll be right outside..."

"I know, but let's arrange it on the way."

"Okay. Come down for breakfast soon though. I think Linds has almost finished it."

With that he gets up and walks out of my room. I lean into my legs and feel tears run down my cheeks. I'm so weak. Why am I going to do this? I've probably upset Gee by doing this. God, if you think like this you are not gonna be able to face him, are you? I wipe my eyes with my sleeve and step out of bed. I head over to the en suite bathroom and turn on my shower. I strip out of my pyjamas and step into the shower, the water warm on my back.I turn to pick up shower gel and hear something clatter on the floor. I look down and see a razor next to my foot. Feeling my body shake as I get closer to picking up the blade, I hold it up and watch the light glint on the blade. All I have to do is add a bit of pressure... I bring the blade to my thigh. Just press. I feel the cold of the metal against my leg. The feeling stood out against the warmth of the water. I felt the sting as I applied pressure to the smooth surface of my skin. After that, it felt like my mind had cleared a bit and was easier for me to think. I slice my leg about a centimetre further down. I repeat this again and again, getting lost in the familiar numbness and watching the blood drain from my leg. It feels so good to have the freedom. I have had everyone's eyes on me, if they weren't with their families, over the last few months. I feel a little bad, because I have totally thrown away the trust of everyone, but they don't need to know. I look down at my right thigh and see blood everywhere. I stay watching it wash down my leg until I hear a knock on the bathroom door. Shit...

"Riley? Breakfast is done! Are you okay in there?" Crap, fuck, shit. Why Gerard? Why was I so stupid? 

"Give me a sec!" I shout, looking around.

I spot the cabinet in the corner. I turn off the shower and run across the bathroom, causing my leg to bleed heavier. I wince as I yank open the cabinet doors. I pull my hands past things, yanking out toothpaste, spot cream, makeup and other stuff before I reach the antiseptic, padding and bandages. I move back to the still running shower and stand in it. I twist the tap, shutting it off and decide to just pour the antiseptic on my leg. I stifle a scream and just whimper instead, unfortunately Gerard hears me.

"Riley? What happened? Are you okay?" I bit my lip before shouting back.

"I'm fine, honest!" I put a few layers of padding over the wound and then wrap bandages around my leg. I can hear the door handle shaking.

"Riley?" Gerard's voice is panicky.

"I will be out in a sec! Calm down!" I steady my breathing and wipe up all the blood from the floor. I shove the blood-covered towel in the laundry basket in the corner and wrap another towel around me, making sure to cover then bandages. I look around and check the floor, before opening the door.

"Are you okay? What- OH GOD! I'm sorry!" He turns around as I walk out laughing.

"That's what happens when you try and get in when I'm in the shower!" I make sure he is facing the other way before wrapping myself in my dressing gown. "I'm now in a dressing gown, but can I get changed now?"

"Right, yes, sorry. I'll go now."

He doesn't look back up at me and walks out. I let out a long breath and walk over to my closet. I pull out the last pair of skinny jeans in my closet as I packed the rest of them for the tour. I pull out my Twenty One Pilots top and Black Parade jacket and look at my outfit in the mirror. You can't see the bulge of the padding much, but it will have to do. I walk downstairs and see Lindsey, Bandit and Gerard around the dining table. Lindsey looks me up and down, her eyes hovering on my thigh before looking me in the eye. I give her a subtle pleading look and she blinks once before dishing herself some waffles. I sit down beside Bandit and Gerard hands me a plate of waffles with maple syrup. He gives me a small smile before helping Bandit cut hers.

"Riley, do you want to play a game after breakfast?" Bandit asks, giving me puppy eyes.

"Uh- I-I..."

"Daddy's taking Riley out after breakfast and then we are taking their stuff and meeting them at the airport. Remember? Daddy is going on tour today." Lindsey butts in, cutting me off. Bandit looks down.

"Oh yeah... How long are you on tour for Daddy?"

"I'm not sure, but I'll be home before you know it."

"For my birthday?" Gerard's face goes white.

"Of course."

"Okay!" She perks up and goes back to eating her breakfast.


As we reach the prison gates, the buzzer goes off and we drive in.


"Petrified. However, I have to do this."

"We can turn around."


Gerard parks the car and I get out pulling my jacket around me.

"Are you cold? God, that jacket is really thin, isn't it."

"Gee, I'm fine. I just wanna get this over with."

"I've said-"

"I know what you said. And I said no. I need to do this."

"I'm right here."

"I know."

We are taken to the meeting room and stand outside it. We are next to a one way window and I see Dad sat, watching the window. We watch as he is handcuffed to the table, restricting his hands.

"Who's there?" Dad asks. The officer ignores him. Dad looks across at the officer. "Can you answer my question?"

"No. You'll see who it is when they come in."

"Ooh. A surprise. How delightful. I can't wait." I feel a chill go down my spine as he turns his head back to the window.

"Would you like Mr Way to come in with you, Miss?" The officer outside with us asks.

"No. I don't."

"Okay, well there is to be an officer in there at all times, so that if he does have a bad reaction, you can be pulled out."

"Yes, yes. Okay. I understand. When can I go in?"

"For someone who has been shot by this man, you seem very eager."

"Yeah, well, I have a reason."

"Okay. Well, as soon as Officer Charleston says, we can go in."

At that moment, the officer in the room turns his back on us, hands behind him. With his left hand, he sticks his thumb up.

"Okay," The officer beside me says. "If you're ready, you can go in." I stand up straighter and straighten my jacket. I turn towards the door, but Gee turns me around and gives me a bear hug. I hug him back and whisper to him. 

"Stay here. Please. I need to know you're here."

"I am, I swear."

"Thank you. Can you try and keep them out here?"

"I can try,  but I don't know if it'll work."

"Just try."

"Okay." I stand up and go to the door. The officer opens it and I face my biological father, sat at the table in front of me. I take a deep breath and walk in. I hear Gerard behind me, talking to the officer outside. I sit at the table opposite my Dad and look him dead in the eye.

"You've gotten braver." I ignore him and look at the officer behind me. There is three taps on the window and the officer nods. He walks out and I turn around again. "You've got nerve coming here, ain't you?"

"I've come here for one purpo-"

"I wanna talk. Lemme speak."

"You've said enough." I reply, keeping my voice as steady as possible. "I deserve to say something now."

"No! Why do you deserve a say? You ruined my fuckin' life!" Dad screams across the table, spitting on me. I hear the door start to open and I hold up my hand. 

"Dad. Can you try and show me you have something human in you? Before-"

"Before what? What the fuck are you gonna do, bitch? You can't do anything!"

"Dad! Shut up! Listen, I was gonna give you a chance, but forget it." I scream. "I want to thank you! I have grown as a person, because you are such a twat! I am braver, I can look you in the eyes now!" The door opens and I turn to see Gerard. Dad begins to laugh.

"I should've known. You are an annoying piece of shit, you know?"

"Yeah, I seem to have that effect on people." Gerard says walking over to me. He wraps his arms around me and I realise I'm crying. "Now, are you gonna let her talk to you? And are you gonna be quiet while she does?"

"I dunno. Am I?"

"You had better."

"Gee." I say.

"Let him speak, sweetie."

"Don't call me that, you piece of-"

"Riley. Don't lose they bridge. Don't build the wall." I breathe slowly and look Dad in the eyes.

"I came in to thank you. You have shown me what I want and need in life. And that isn't you. Or Mum. Also I came in to say goodbye."

"You just wait. You know who I know. You know I can make you pay, even from inside jail."

"Goodbye." I turn and take Gerard's hand walking to the door.

"I know you're going to England first. I will know where you are. Every. Step. Of the journey."

I freeze in the doorway, feeling the familiar chill go down my spine. I hear Dad chuckle and realise the mistake I have made. He shakes the chains and I jump out of my skin. Gerard puts his hand around my shoulder and walks me away from the room. The tears stream harder down my face and I turn and hug Gerard tight. He rests his chin on my head and rubs my back.

"I'm never gonna be free of him, Gee!" I cry.

"Hey, yeah, you will. I will make sure of it. And so will everyone else. We're going on tour with Brendon in a few hours! He's amazing! He's so funny!" I look up at him and smile.


We walk to the car and drive away from the prison...

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