I Am Not Afraid To Walk This World On Tour

This is the sequel to I Am Not Afraid To Walk This World Alone.

Safe from her father, Riley is asked on tour with My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy and Panic! At The Disco. She believes for a while that her struggles are over, but are they?


4. Chapter Four - She isn't like Dad, is she?

As the plane comes to land, I see planes taking off and landing. People are running towards planes, hoisting children onto their hips. In the corner of my eye I see flashes and turn my head. I look over to the large building and see what looks like at least one hundred people and cameras flashing. I pull away from the window and look at Gee, panicked.

"How did they find us?" I ask, feeling my breathing get shorter. Gerard puts his hand on my leg in an attempt to calm me.

"They must have seen us get on the plane in America and spread the word. It's fine. We won't tell anyone who you are."

"Do you have a hood on your jacket? That would help." Ray asks from his seat behind me.

I nod and pull it up pushing my hair back. As the plane stops and the doors open, we grab our luggage and Pete grabs my free hand. I look down at the bandage on my leg, before sighing and following Pete out of the plane.I shiver as the chilling wind hits my bare legs and look down at my feet, staying like that the whole way through the airport. I hear cheering with a mix of crying and screaming. I chuckle to myself and I feel Pete look down at me. 

"Sorry." I whisper. 

"For what?" I'm about to reply when we hear a shout.

"Who's that?" A girl shouts from in the crowd.

I tense, but Patrick joins my other side keeping me moving. I hear Gerard stop and talk to the fans. By the time we reach the cars outside, I'm breathing easier.

"Are you okay?" Gerard asks, touching my shoulder lightly from behind. I just start laughing. "Riley?" He asks, as everyone turns to me panicked.

"I'm fine- no. I am more than fine! We didn't see her! Oh my God! Gee, we didn't see her. I'm fucking free from them!" My arms wrap around his waist and I dig my head into his chest. Suddenly, tears are flowing down my cheeks. What the hell body? Why must you screw up my emotions? Gerard rubs my back and audibly lets out a breath.

"That's right. You will sleep easier tonight, I bet!"

"Oh my God. I will!" I laugh and let go of him.

"Hate to break this up, but the taxis are here." Frank says. Looking between me and Gee. We walk to the taxis and separate into different ones. I climb in the back of one with Frank beside me and Gee climbs in the front. 

As we leave the airport, Frank and I begin a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors. I don't pay attention to who is driving until Gerard starts a conversation as we pull down a road surrounded by fields.

"So, how are you doing today?" He asks the driver.

"I'm good, thank you very much. How was your flight?" I freeze and whip my head up to look Frank dead in the eyes. I would recognise that voice anywhere, even after eight years apart. I kick Gee's chair as Frank looks at me confused. Gee stutters slightly in his reply, hut continues. The woman driving smiles in her mirror at me and I begin shaking. No, no, no! I thought she'd walk up to us! She can't drive our taxi! Is she gonna kidnap us? No... She isn't like Dad, is she? She could be, she did leave me... I feel a hand on my leg and let out a shriek. Gee turns around quickly and Frank pulls his hand away from my leg. I pull out my phone and look at it and then at Gerard. His expression continues to be concerned but he doesn't realise what I am saying. I unlock the phone and text him. As his phone goes of I look at the woman in front. My mother... She just smiles at me again and I feel myself looking like a tomato. Gee's head whips up from his phone and he glares at Mum. After a few moments of silence, he asks,

"Why'd you do it?" Anger laces his voice and Mum looks down at her watch.

"I'm not going to lie. I'm offended, sweetie. I thought you might have remembered who I was quicker."

"Hey, I was talk-"

"Well, you know, it has been eight years. Oh and I've had a reasonable amount of time in hospital recently, by Dad's hand, obviously because you weren't there to help me! That might be a cause of my forgetfulness!" I retort bitterly, cutting Gee off.

"Wow. Your father didn't train you up at all, did he? Or is it just these ignorant fools who believe they do good, but just hurt people?"

"Hey!" Gerard protests.

"Oh, trust me. He 'trained' me alright," I use my fingers to make quotation marks, ignoring Gee. "But my mother wasn't there to stand up for me and help me, so when I ended up in hospital, funnily enough because of the abuse, my heroes saved me. That's when they helped me become myself and be happy again. And guess what, I'm happy now, and I become confident when I am happy!" I glance Gerard's slight grin in the corner of my eye. Frank chimes in with,

"Can someone explain what is happening right now?"

"This is a disgusting woman that, eight years ago, abandoned her daughter with an abusive father."Gerard spits, his grin fading. 

"Gee," I say, not wanting him to be hurt. "Please, don't. You don't need to-"

"Honey, let him talk. I want to hear what this man has to say about a woman he doesn't know." I lean forward between the chairs, fighting against Frank.

"Don't you dare call me-" Gerard cuts me off.

"Oh, I'll tell you what I think of you!" I look back at Frank, fighting against him and pleading him to help me be heard.

"Gee, seriously. Calm down! Why don't we jut get out and call for a cab?"

"Because this woman, this disgrace of a mother, doesn't realise how messed up her daughter is!" I freeze.

"What?" I whisper. 

"She's always been messed up! I always knew that! Why do you think I didn't take her with me when I left!" I let out a cry and slide out of Frank's arms, pushing open the car door. Frank grabs my arms and shouts.

"Stop the freaking car!" As it comes to an abrupt stop, I hit my head against the seat but ignore it and get out. I walk quickly away before falling to my knees in a puddle and sobbing my eyes out. Frank leans down next to me and rubs my back.

"Riley. You know Gee didn't mean it."

"But he's right, isn't he? I'm broken and messed up!"

"You are not broken. Or messed up. You are a teenage girl who has been through so much shit, that most people won't go through in any of their life! Gerard was trying to make a point." 

"A point? By pointing out my flaws?" I sob into my hands.

"No! God, okay. I'll be back." He gets up and walks away. I look up at the grey sky as it begins to rain. I only look down again when Gee crouches in front of me.

"Riley, please don't hate me. I never got a chance to finish. I was going to continue to say how messed up your life is thanks to her. I would never call you a wreck or a mess or anything else that would hurt you. You know that, don't you?" I nod and wipe my eyes on my sleeve, while Gee leans forward and embraces me. We only separate when we hear a cough behind me.

"Can I have a moment with my daughter? Alone?" Mum asks, looking guilty.

"Not really, I don't trust you." Gerard says, bluntly. Frank walks over.

"It isn't your choice. She's seventeen. She can makes her own decisions." Frank snorts a laugh as I glare up at her.

"I'm really not. I'm fifteen. And if you had cared, you would have known and wouldn't have left. The only thing you have right is that I can make my own decisions. I shouldn't even listen to you, but I am and these two are staying."

"Fine. You don't realise, if you stay with these people, the death threats you will receive will ruin your life. People will make attempts on your life!"

"More than her fucking father?" Gerard yells. I put my hand on his leg.

"Mum You don't deserve a say in my life anymore. You don't even deserve to be called my Mum. You gave that up eight years ago." I stand up so I can look her in the eye.

"Okay. I understand. But I want to tell you something. I met someone. And..."

"And?" I ask, warily.

"And you have a little brother." She sighs.

"What?" I take a step back and closer to Gerard and Frank, my knees shaking. They support my arms.

"He's called Ryan. I have told him all about his big sister." She takes a step closer and I pull away from the boys, turning away from them all. "Ri-"

"You left me when I was seven. You just-Did you just forget that I existed? Just like the life with us didn't happen? Because you have such a perfect life now? Are you even a taxi driver? You've got a fucking child with another man and," I look to her hand. "Oh look! You and this very lucky guy are married! When do I get to meet my stepdad and half brother then?" I feel my blood pressure rising rapidly.


"No! Forget it! I don't want to see or hear from you ever again! You are a fucking cow!" I storm past her to the car.

"How dare you swear at me like that? Did I not bring you up to treat your mother better than that?"

"You did. You're right. I'll apologise to her if I ever get one."

I pull open the boot and take out my suitcase, dropping it to the floor. Frank and Gee's follow and I slam the door shut. 

"Riley, sweetheart, I'm so sorry..." I turn around walk up to her and slap her. My voice lowers in volume as I pull up my sleeve, revealing my scars.

"Forget it. You left me. This," I look at my scars. "This is what happens when you neglect your children. You have a second chance, a lot of people don't. You make sure Ryan has the happiest childhood he can. Or I will make you regret it."

I leave her holding her hand to her cheek and staring at the ground as I walk away with my suitcase pulling out my phone. I dial a taxi service and pass the phone to Gerard. He talks with the person on the phone. I sit myself on the grass and Frank joins me, bringing luggage. I rest my head on his shoulder and look over to see Mum smiling sadly. As Gerard joins us, she gets in the car and drive away. I feel a tear roll down my cheek. 

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