The run

Daisy is fighting with her grief and self confidence, she had some though years. She just needed to get away.
She have moved to the other side of the World, there is this boy who make her so mad and so happy at the same time.
She can't see how it ever would evolve, she is damage goods, she would just take him with her when she falls.


13. Chapter 13

“Nate we have to move” I giggle, why do I giggel? I’m not that type.

“Why?” He gently takes the hair away from my face.

“I don’t like being on Simone’s bed” I try to push him away so we can move.


He stand up but just so he can lay me down on my own bed. He tilt his head over mine and kisses me with one of those amazing kisses you just can’t forget or get away from. His hands is running up under my shirt, I don’t want to push them away but I don’t want them further up either. It confuses me. I try to take control by tilting my face over his so I’m almost on top of him, I stop the kiss and just look at him. I don’t say anything and his hands is still on my hips under my shirt. His hands drive circles on my skin, I can feel the warmth from his hands I can feel it in every nerve I have in my body. The warmth is consuming, I never want it to stop.


“You know we have to do something else than just kiss right?” I meant it, but I also love to kiss him.


“Do we?” He gives me a fast kiss filled with his smile.


“Well when you say it like that” I smile a smudgy smile.


“Actually I have a question”


“What is it?”


“What are your plans for New Year?” I hadn’t expected that, but of course he would ask, it is today after all.


“Sky is showing me how you have New Year in America”

“Is it different from Denmark?”


“Not what I know of, except people over here make a big deal out of kissing someone at midnight. It isn’t a big deal in Denmark, there people just wants to get drunk and see the queen's speech for the year”


“Do you have a queen?” He look surprised and curious.


“Yes, but she doesn't really do anything. She has no power, she is more like a symbol”


“So she is promotion for Denmark?”




“But you know you have to make a big deal out of kissing someone at midnight over here right?” Okay so he like to change subject all the time.


“Why?” He looks at me with a smile that promise punishment.

There ain’t no answer for that question, instead he kisses and tickles me so I laugh so hard. His hands is everywhere I don’t even know where anymore, I just want him to stop tickling me.


“Nate... Stop!” It’s hard to get the words out between my laughter. He laughs too, but at least he stops tickling me. I can feel his hands position now. One is on my thigh quite high up and the other is under my shirt on the side of my ribs. I try to get out of his grip but he won’t let me.


“Is this activating your claustrophobic?” He means his hands everywhere on my body so I can’t think clear.


“No… It’s not that”


“Then why do you try to shake my hands off every time I touch you?”


“I don’t do it every time” I mumble it and look away a little embarrassed.


“Yes you do, my hands can’t stay long on you body before you shake them of”
“Tell me why” I can’t see a way to get out of this.


I sigh before I answer him.
“I’m not used to people touching me those places. I like it but it makes me uncomfortable”


“Have you never been touched like I touch you?” I know what he refer to, and I should just be honest with him ‘cause we are at college and it’s normal part of an relationship.


“Never” I blush and I still can’t look at him. He turns my face to look at him so I blush again.


“I just have to be sure about what you are saying. So you are a virgin?” He doesn't sound judging or mocking more surprised.


I can’t speak so I nod, and when I do that my cheeks just keep getting more red. My whole face must look like a tomato now. But Nate can’t see it because I hold my hands over my head.

He must think I’m a snob if I haven't had sex yet. But I’m not a snob I just didn’t feel ready to lose it before I was 17 and then mom died and I didn’t felt ready for it again. I’m not good at talking with people and especially not boys. Just see how my first conversation was with Nate, actually just our whole relationship if you can call it that. I’m an insecure girl with nightmares, I’m shy, doesn't smile. I’m just not a warm person, I’m not one of those people you just instant like, I’m more that person you have to dig deep down in before you see some potential you like. Most people won’t work for it, and I go away before people do. But somehow Nate had manage to dig before I even knew it, he have dug such a big hole that if he disappeared now I would drown in myself.

He takes my hands away from my face and look me in the eyes.


“Why are you embarrassed?” His head is tilted with a bemused mine.


“How many 20 years old people do you know who is a virgin?” I try not to sound judging, but it doesn’t succeed. My judgment isn’t ment on him or anybody else beside myself. Why am I such a coward? People says it’s not a big deal, it’s just something you have to get over with. But I’m not that convinced, I get that it’s something you need to get over with but it still means something, and I think it should be with someone I know and feel safe with. I don’t need to love him or something like that, but I need to know that he won’t just use me and trash me the day after. But the most important thing is that I have to be ready. In these situations I miss my mom more than usually. I miss her because I know she would get it and if she was still alive I would have lost it and wouldn’t feel like such a freak.

Nate have been thinking about my question while I thought of how my life could have been different.


“I don’t know anyone. But I know people who didn’t felt ready for it when they did it so they didn’t had sex again before they felt ready” That surprised me.

“We won’t do anything you don’t feel ready for” He tries to make my mood better, it’s sweet of him but I also get a little offended.


“Don’t you think it all goes a little fast? I mean we have only talked for two days or something like that” He just laugh at my statement.


“I didn’t mean we should do it right now, that wasn’t my intention. But I would lie if I said I hadn’t thought about it when I sat next to you in litterature” My head isn’t supposed to be skin color when I'm with Nate obviously, my head keeps turning red. He laughs at me again because of my blush.

Nate change the subject and ask into my winter break in Denmark, I tell him about my dad’s new girlfriend but I let out the part that my mom is dead and how I feel about it. I’m not ready to share so intim details about my life yet. While I talk his hands make small circles around on my body but outside of the clothes this time.


It feels like everything Nate and I do is lay down in my bed and talk or kiss, I love it no doubt about that I just don’t want him to think I’m boring, at least not yet.
I scream when the door slam open. It’s Sky who comes in, it must be after 4PM.


“What are you doing?” She smiles a big smile.


“Um… talking?” It wasn’t suppose to sound like a question, but when I look at Nate I can see that he is blushing. We haven't done anything remotely sexy or embarrassing so I don’t get why he blush. But then I remember what he said about his thought in literature, have he been thinking about some stuff I would like to know about?


“We shall talk about your blushing young man” I whisper into his ears, he blush again while he looks at me.


“Stop, I can’t look at your happiness when you haven’t even told me you guys were an item” Sky waves her hand to get our attention while she talk. Sky take a step toward Simone’s bed and sit down.


“Are you guys ready for tonight? I mean I suppose that you Nate are going with us since you two are dating, and if Daisy shall experience that kiss at midnight it should be with you”


What is  it with that goddamn kiss? It can’t be that important, it’s just a kiss.


“I asked what Daisy was doing tonight but she didn’t knew” I’m right here, so speak to me instead of talking over my head.


“She hadn't told me yet I told you that. And beside you never told me what you are going to do” At least he is looking at me this time.


“Caleb and I have plans, but nothing specific we just talked about going to a bar and then times square to see the ball drop”


“Who is Caleb?” I never heard of him before, but I don’t know any of Nate’s friends.


“He is the guy who was with me at the karaoke bar” Oh that is Caleb, the terrible singer.


“You can come with us then! We are going home to Andrew and Emily’s parents place at Manhattan. Their parents isn’t home and they have gotten permission to hold a party” Are we going home to Emily who surely hates me after that karaoke night? Well this is going to be fun.


“I text Caleb with the plans” At least I get to spend New Year's eve with Nate.


“I have to get Daisy ready for tonight, so I am thinking if you Nate go back to your room and then Caleb and you can meet us here at 8PM?”


“He can stay if he want” I don’t want him to leave, not yet.


“He have to go, you can’t concentrate when he is near. And you need to do that if you follow my plans”

Nate stands up and kiss me goodbye, it was meant to be only a fast kiss but I make it deeper just to irritate Sky. He winks at me just before he go out of the door.


“You are at least fun to be around again” She rolls her eyes and I just laugh at her.

Sky doesn't waste the time, while I have been out and showering she have already putted on makeup. She truly looks amazing. She has curled her long black hair so it runs down her back, she have made sure that it won’t come into her face all night with a cute hairband. She have laid a fine natural makeup, even though she says her foundation doesn't match her skin color because her mom is african american and her dad is as white as he could be so it’s hard to find the right skin tone. Around her eyes she have made the best smokey eyes I have ever seen, it highlights her eyes perfectly. Her lipstick is a little darker than her natural lips, it’s a good color for her, enough so you notice how big her lips are and natural enough so you don’t think she is a drama queen. Skys dress is black too, it’s beautiful, it stop right before her knees, it doesn’t have any strops but that won’t be a problem for her because she have big boobs which can hold it up. Everyone who sees her will fall in love with her.
Sky have chosen what I should wear, how my makeup is going to be and my hair. I trust her and especially when she have done this to herself.


First Sky make sure that I can’t see myself in any mirrors or anything else, she says it have to be a surprise for me. I hate surprises. I can feel Sky ripping around in my hair first up, then down, then a little to the side. I have no idea what she is going to do with me.

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