Let me help you

This story is about getting through tuff times. Lee Mi-Na felt broken when her life fell apart. She became suicidal and started to walk down a dark ally. Can EXO help her? Can her childhood friend Oh Sehun save her from herself?

- This is my first story on English and I'm not good at it. Sorry for all the misspellings and lack of commas :b I hope to update every week, so stay tuned :3 -

[WARNING: There is going to be thoughts about suicide, self-harming and anxiety. If you don't like reading about it, then please leave. I'm writing from my own experience and it is my words and thoughts that in this story. If you don't like my way of writing, then please leave. ]

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3. Chapter 2

I couldn't feel anything. I didn’t breathe. I could feel my heartbeat, but I couldn’t hear my breath leave through my mouth. I was empty. I tried to open my eyes slowly, but they rejected my decision. I tried moving my head, my arms or just my fingers. But my whole body rejected my decision on finding life in my body. Nothing happened. Maybe I was dead, my brain just kept going? It would be weird and impossible, but if I were dead, nobody would know? I just stayed quiet and gave my body and my brain time to think. Was I dead or alive?

After what felt like an eternity I tried again. This time I got a result. I tried using my fingers, but not long after someone picked them up. Their hands were warm, but sweaty. They were big, with long fingers. I laid quiet. No noise. I slowly tried moving them again but they were stuck. Was I alive? Or were God playing with me, for the last time. I forced my eyes to open, but it began slowly. Some white light caught my eye, but it was all blurred. Slowly I forced them to concentrate and open, so I could se. It was still blurred, so I tried closing and opening again. I did it 2 or 3 times before I could see a bit clearer. I didn’t move my head while looking around the room. First to the right, where there was a stand - properly the thing that was monitoring my heart beat - before looking to the left.

 

        Sehun

 

He looked right at me before his mouth moved. He talked to me, but I didn’t hear him. He gave a warm smile before looking back at another guy. I knew he was in EXO but I didn’t knew his name. He smiled too. They started talking to me, but I couldn’t hear them. I slowly shook my head at them, before looking down on my left hand. It was Sehuns hand braided into mine. I shooked my head again and opened my mouth to say no, but nothing happened. Sehun gave me a little smile. Almost telling me I would be okay. The other guy kinda rushed out of the room. I looked after him, but didn’t move my head. I looked up in the ceiling, where there was a tv. The news. I wanted to tell him about the crash, but that would be the reason he is here now. But why would he be here after all this time? After he left me? I looked at him again, right after he had let my fingers go. He was on his phone, before showing it to me.

 

- You can’t hear me?

 

I shook my head again before he took it away and gave me a nervous look, and forced a smile on his lips. I started to noticed his knees moving up and down. He still had some trouble sitting still. I think a smile was formed on my lips because Sehun looking a little happier that before. I remembered the trouble he had in school, because he couldn’t sit still in class. The other guy entered the room and had a doctor with him. Sehuns mouth moved again and I began to wonder what he said, or how his voice would sound. Before he left me, many years ago his voice was high and childish. The doctor wrote a note and showed me a white paper with his hand writing. It was sloppy and almost unreadable and it took me a little while to read it and understand what he wanted to say.

 

- I’m going to check your ears. Maybe the accident had caused some problems. It is okay?  

 

I just looked at him. I felt miserable in my current state. He gave me a nervous smile before he started looking in my right ear. I must had been making a sound because they all looked surprised and nervous. I took a quick decision and closed my eyes before opening my mouth again. Without hearing myself, I was screaming. Not in pain but maybe I could scream so loud I would end up hear it? I felt a hand over my mouth and automatically opened my eyes, looking directly into Sehuns face. His eyes was afraid. An annoying feeling came around and I wanted to know why he was here, maybe of pity for my unsuccessful suicide attempt. Maybe I was lucky and he would leave again. Slowly tears started rolling down my cheeks, and Sehun looked at me with sadness in his eyes. Why? I tried to turn the ideér around in my head, thinking why he would be here. But nothing happened. I was in denial. He withdrew his hand from my mouth before looking at the doctor. What I didn’t noticed was he had already checked my right ear and was talking again. I started to think about my decision, about my suicide. I started to wonder if it was the right choice to do it in a car? Why didn’t I just do it, the same way as my father. The other guy looked back and forth between Sehun and the doctor. I deeply wanted to know what they talked about, but I slowly realized this was the punishment from God. I wasn’t even Christian, but I knew that here was something between the Earth and the universe, then could not be explained. Sehun pulled his phone in front of my face again.

 

- He is saying they can fix your ears but it will cost a lot... Do you have money?

 

I looked past the phone, into Sehuns eyes. I held my head steady before trying to talk. I didn’t want to answer the question, because I didn’t want his help. Something must had left my mouth because Sehuns eyes started watering. His face started to turn red and I was not sure I said it right but I got the result I wanted. The other guy came around the bed to his side, before turning Sehun around to hug him. I had just told him I hated him. I turned my head slightly to the right to look away. I would not feel sorry for him, not after what he did to me. The doctor had left us alone. I closed my eyes. Not long after, I was asleep.

 

___

 

The room was dark when I opened my eyes. It took me a moment before realizing where I was. I could feel a weird weight on my left side, if someone was lying on top of me. I looked down to the left, to find a body. The face was to the other side, but his hair and shirt told me it was Sehun. Why? I pulled my hand away before poking him in the back. No response. I kept going, this time harder. Slowly his head moved, looked around and stopping with his eyes on me. I moved my lips to talk, to tell him I had to pee. A question I wanted to ask popped up in my head. I hadn't been to the bathroom for so long, so how could I hold it this long. He nodded at me, while getting up from the chair. His eyes were red when they meet mine. He placed his right hand around my neck and his left hand under my back. He started to move his lips but stopped while shaking his head. He started pulling me up, while I made a sound. He supported my neck before waking the other guy up. He rushed over to help me out of the bed on the right side. I felt a screaming pain in my body, and I was about to lose consciousness. It all began to blur before seeing other people rush into the room. I closed my eyes, and I was gone.

 

___

 

A hand slowly drove down from my hair to my cheek before leaving again. I slowly opened my eyes and looked over at Sehun. Something had changed. He had another shirt on. The other guy was no longer in the room. He pulled a Little note up.

 

- You have been sleeping a lot. You must eat to stay healthy. Suho is down getting some to you right now. Please eat.

 

I looked past the note and gave him a little nod. He got a smile on his face before leaving my side to go towards the door. His body left the room and a nurse entered instead. She smiled at me before she found a remote. She pushed a button, and I started rising. She took her finger off the remote when I was almost sitting straight up. She adjusted my head pillow, and in the same moment I noticed my head was locked. I couldn’t move my head to the sides, only back and forth alongside my back. Was it because I lost consciousness earlier? Sehun entered the room again and after him, came Suho. The same guy from earlier. They placed the food on a table and moved it over my bed, so it was right in front of me. Sehun found a paper and started writing down. Suho sat down on my right and Sehun moved over to the left before laying the paper on the table, towards me.

 

- Please eat. I want you to be healthy again.

 

I found strength to move my left hand from the bed to the table, to taking the pencil. I used a lot of strength to write.

 

- Why? Why are you here?

 

I dropped the pencil and my arm laid numb on the table. Sehun started talking and his eyes were watering again. Again, I started to wonder why? I was twenty years old and we stopped talking long time ago. He never returned my calls or texts. He stopped all contact and here he was. Maybe he was the only person they could contact? Or did they say my name in the news and he came afterwards? Another note was laid in front of me, this time it was from Suho.

 

- Hey Mi-Na. You probably don’t know me, but I am Suho, the leader of Exo. The same group Sehun is in. We heard about the accident on the news and came to see you. From what I can understand, you don’t have any family left, so we want to help you get through this terrible experience. You don’t have to think about the bills, or the operation for your ears. It will all be covert.

 

I looked over at him. He gave me a little smile before I looked back at the note.

 

- We arrived a few hours after you, but you slept for three days. Then you woke up, but you were too tired and slept again for two days. The other night when you woke up to pee, you fell asleep for four days. You haven’t eaten for so long, so please eat a little. It would help you get better and give you more energy.

 

I moved my right hand but it was numb before I could pull it up from the bed. I looked at Suho before nodding at him. His face brightened up before pulling the paper away and pushing the food closer to me. I glanced over on Sehun who was busy on his phone. I looked back on the food before lifting my left arm to eat. It looked good but I had no idea what it was. I was too tired. I grabbed the fork before looking at Suho, with a worried expression. My arm was getting numb again. I had no energy to eat with. He gave me a warm smile, before standing up. He grabbed my arm, took the fork and put my arm down under my quilt. I tried moving my head, but pain filled my body. He started preparing my food. I looked at him, while a new feeling started spreading in me. He took care of me. The same thing Sehun wanted to, but he could never repair what he had broken. Suho put his hand under the fork and leading it towards my mouth. I opened and closed it when it got the food. I closed my eyes and started chewing on the food. It tasted better than I expected. We repeated the circle a few times before I shooked my head. I opened my mouth to say ‘I’m full, thank you’ But it must have sounded funny because Suho laughed a little before wiped my mouth with a white napkin. I smiled at him before I closed my eyes. I was not long after that I fell asleep again.

 

___

 

I woke up feeling bad. I had to puke. I opened my eyes, looking around in panic. I no longer had the head stuck, but I had a bit pain in my movements. I saw Sehun sleeping on my left side, but I didn’t get longer before it came like a wave. It left my mouth and hit my quilt. I was still sitting up. I panicked and pulled both my arms up to my mouth. Sehun was still asleep in his chair. He had pulled it away from the bed to stretch his long legs. I looked to my right and saw Suho sleeping in the same position. I felt a second wave coming up. Tears started to roll down my cheeks before puking again. This time Suho woke up by my noise. He looked at me in panic before pressing a button by my side. Sehun woke up, probably by the noise. Two nurses came rushing in the door before starting to help me. I looked frightened at them before feeling more coming up. I cried before the third wave came up. I tried my best to stop it, but my body refused to stop. I closed my eyes and wished it would stop. I could feel I was shaking. When I opened again Sehun and Suho was gone. The nurses were rushing around, putting a new needle in my right hand, all while they were talking. I still had my left hand in front of my mouth, with puke all over it. All over me. The screaming pain in my body slowly disappeared and I felt dizzy. I closed my eyes, and I was gone.

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