Let me help you

This story is about getting through tuff times. Lee Mi-Na felt broken when her life fell apart. She became suicidal and started to walk down a dark ally. Can EXO help her? Can her childhood friend Oh Sehun save her from herself?

- This is my first story on English and I'm not good at it. Sorry for all the misspellings and lack of commas :b I hope to update every week, so stay tuned :3 -

[WARNING: There is going to be thoughts about suicide, self-harming and anxiety. If you don't like reading about it, then please leave. I'm writing from my own experience and it is my words and thoughts that in this story. If you don't like my way of writing, then please leave. ]

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2. Chapter 1

The pictures gazed inside my soul and shot goosebumps down my spine. They were always monitoring me; in the same way, they did against my father. They had made him paranoid. In the very end he had smashed half the house and managed to hanged himself in the bedroom. At that time, I didn’t feel anything at all. I knew this was going to happen someday or another. The house still existed but only for me. I didn’t have the money to pay the rent, but somehow I got so far. The landlord had visited multiple times but left empty handed. He didn’t try anything, just left again. He knew about my father - because of the local news - but he had now given me 2 weeks to find, just some money or he would throw me out. Slowly I moved my body down the hallway to recap all the ‘good’ memories in the house. I stopped in the doorway to the living room and kitchen. I looked over in the corner and tried to remember some of Sehun. But nothing happened. Slowly had my memories faded away and I liked it this way. He had left me, without telling me why. For four years, I prayed every night for his wellbeing. He didn’t give me a choice and I slowly lost everything for him. After his debut from SM Entertainment with a new group called Exo - Well Exo-k to be precise - in 2011, I started to hate him. He never told me he wanted to become a singer, and never gave me a choice to come with him. He looked so happy when they were on tv and on Youtube. But was it the right choice for him to leave me alone?

 

“Hmm” A small sound left me, before turning my head and looking into the kitchen. Old dishwashing was left on the kitchen tables and in the sink. The motivation to clean had never really caught me and I didn’t want to clean the memories. Pictures of smiling family was still hanging on the wall, but with smashed glass. The old glass had been cleaned and put away in a drawer by itself. I hadn’t cleaned the walls and the rooms, only the shapes objects on the floor. The smell in the house was thick and had an old food smell hanging around. I could barely breath in it myself, but I didn’t want it to be destroyed. My phones ringing sound, caught my ear and I pulled it up of the pocket to look at it.

 

‘Eli - Psychologist’

 

I got a little smile on my lips before I looked away. I took a drastic decision, and threw it through the room and against the wall in the living room. I had had a weekly appointment with her, but had skipped it in 2 weeks, telling him ‘I'm sorry, I was busy’ She had been with me for about a year. In a few days, it will be the one year anniversary for my father’s death. I turned on my heels and left the room, through the hallway, out to the front door. I looked at my father's shoes and his last jacket before grabbing my keys and opening the door. I walked out and closed the door for the last time in my life.

 

The radio played all the new and most popular songs. The songs would be played repeatedly throughout the day. Sia’s new song ‘The Greatest’ started playing. I got a little smile on my lips before I looked up in the rear-view mirror. I looked into my eyes before looking back on the road. The song was about never giving up. But it was too late for me now. My feelings were already dead and buried. The song played in the background, while I was thinking some of my last thoughts. I knew this road to well and took a left turn down toward the little, old lake. I turned off the engine in the parking lot, with the front out to the lake.

 

I stayed in the car, while looking out in the empty air in front of me. I didn’t think about much, just relaxed. Slowly the song stopped and EXO’s newest song started playing. ‘Dancing King’ I forced my eyes shut and muted the radio. Sehuns face showed up in my mind. He was looking happy, without me. I was nothing to nobody. I didn’t have any family, any friends. I was left alone in the big world, with scars all over my soul. I wasn’t meant to live anymore. The lake was a popular place during my childhood, and Sehun tried to lean me how to swim. But the lake got shut down, by the many suicide attempts and random dead bodies found around it. It is now many years ago, and it had been open for two or three years now. With no music, I just sat there. I hated the memories with Sehun and wanted it all to disappear. I started the car again and drove off. It wasn’t for long, before I had my finale though. I was going to do it right here, right now. I turned a right turn and drove for the highway tunnel. I looked at the clock and saw the number. ‘1:43 AM’ I looked up again and didn’t see many cars around me. Many drove past me, in high speed. I used my turn signal and drove over in second lane. I pushed my foot hard against the accelerator pedal and got up in speed. I looked down on the passenger seat and saw the photo I always drive with. My mother. I looked up again and my target was moving closer. I saw the headlights drive past me, before turning slight left so I would hit the cement wall, that was in between the roads with oncoming traffic. I smiled before I started laughing.

 

“It’s going to be over now!” I saw the wall getting closer before closing my eyes. This action isn't for getting help. I knew very well, that I was going to die, but I didn’t want anybody to find tracks of me in my car. So, if I could destroy the car and myself in one go, that would be the ultimate decision. I opened my eyes, to see the descent left. But in the same moment I hit the wall, everything left my mind. I would be going to a happier place now.

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