To Be ...or Not

Alex Wolff is experiencing vivid hallucinations* about the girl of his dreams, Babs Blackwell.

Will he eventually get over it? Or will he have to profess his love to his oldest friend?

*Otherwise called daydreams

Cover is completely mine... I worked like 20 minutes on it... I know... I have no life and too many feels....

Rated Yellow cos it's borderline


2. Part 2

On the bus ride home Alex's mind wandered again. But this time it wasn't to the bus bouncing and she landed in his lap it was to them just doing general romantic things together and it drove Alex crazy. Even crazier than when she was kissing him. Crazier than running her hands through his hair.

When they finally got to their stop they did the usual hug and then they parted ways.

Alex walked to his building, and straight upstairs. He was dreading seeing Nat. He had told Nat that today was the day. The day that he was gonna tell Babs. Clearly that didn't happen.

Alex told himself that he would go straight to his room, and not turn back to talk to Nat, but as soon as he opened the door his mother greeted him.

She wasn't there for dinner very often, but when she did it was a surprise and no one knows except sometimes their dad. This was not one of those times.

Alex took a glance behind her and saw Nat setting the rarely use table like a madman, and his dad was cooking four or five things at once.

"Alex." His mother said wrapping him in a hug. It was weird hugging her. Over the years he had gradually gotten taller than her, and now it was just awkward, "Fun surprise huh?" She asked. Alex nodded.

"Listen, I'm just gonna go to my room and do some stuff. I'll be back out in time for dinner." Alex smiled and ran into his room.

Once in there he basically destroyed it. His anger, and frustration with himself led to ripping a pillow in half. Luckily it wasn't his favorite pillow. That would've been too much to bare. In the midst of his rampage of throwing things and breaking meaningless trinkets he didn't notice Nat standing in the doorway.

He cleared his throat catching Alex's attention.

"Dude," Nat said sighing, "what are you doing?" Alex looked down at the mess he had made.

"Tearing things apart apparently." Alex sighed. Nat nodded.

"Did she reject you?" He asked. Alex shook his head, "Woah, wait, she actually accepted your love?" Alex sighed and flopped down.

"No. She lost Sebastian today. I couldn't just proclaim my love to her after her heart was shattered." Alex groaned.

"Look man, I'm no love expert or anything but telling her would've made her happy. We both know Babs- she doesn't stay sad long." Nat said sitting down next to Alex.

"No," Alex looked over at his brother, "You don't know Babs. But I do." Alex stood up, "Babs seems like she's all rainbows and puppies and happy things, but she's not. All of that is just a facade." He said looking at Nat, "Yeah she's happy, but it a cause she makes herself happy! She is a human being, Nat. Do you know what that means?" He asked.

"Not a clue." Nat replied.

"It means she needs a sad day. A day to relax and reassess her life. A day that no one can tell her what to do, what not to do. A day where she can call me and say 'I heard the the icecream truck. Let's bolt' and we run to the nearest icecream shop. A day where anything can happen." Alex sighed, "maybe I need one of those days too." He sat back down and Nat clapped.

"Well done, sir." Alex looked around as their parents called them for dinner.

"I will clean this up later." Alex said leaving his room. At the dinner table they were all awkwardly silent.

"So, Nat, how was your day?" Their mother asked.

"Well, it was pretty boring and..." Alex stopped listening. He was looking down at his phone in his lap. He was getting texts from Babs.


Alex smiled at her text.

How are you feelin? Cos even tho you don't want to talk about it it's kinda a big deal

The text delivered, but she never answered it. When Alex looked up his family members were all staring at him.

"You ok?" Nat asked. Alex nodded.

"Yeah. I've just. Nothing." He made eye contact with his parents, "Really, I'm fine." He said even though his emotions were ripping him to shreds from the inside out.

"Alright, well, how was your day?" His dad asked.

"Uh, eventful." Alex replied vaguely. His dad looked at him.

"That's all though? Nothing bad or illegal, right?" Alex chuckled.

"No, nothing like that. I just went to get a suit down town with Babs." Alex shrugged. The dinner went on with their mom talking about her recent projects and Nat talking about how if he could he would help fund her.

After dinner they all sat around the TV while Alex cleaned up the mess in his room.

As he cleaned he found that he ripped up three notebooks, one pillow, seven snow globes (that mess was horrendous), and a lamp. He cleaned up his mess and sat down on his bed.

His head hurt so he laid back on the bed and closed his eyes.

In his dream he was alone. Just sitting on the couch. The TV was showing white static, and no one seemed to be home. His dream self stayed where he was and stared at the static.

"Alex." There was a voice, "Alex, I love you." He couldn't tell whose voice it was though, "Look at me." His dream self sighed and looked up and to the left. It was Babs.

"Stop bothering me. You can't love me, and you know it." He heard himself say.

"But I do love you!" She said.

"If that were true then you'd be in my arms! You'd let me love you! You don't love me at all." Alex said sadly. She looked down and sighed.

"Ok." He thought she was going to walk away, but instead she stood in front of him. She reached a hand up and kissed him softly.

"How can I show you my love?" She asked him. She kissed him again, "I don't know how to. Tell me how." She said. He sighed.

"Babs, you in reality have to tell me. You and I both know you're just a dream."

"You and me, Alex, we aren't hopeless." She kissed him again and wrapped her arms around him.

Alex woke up to the sun in his eyes.

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