Desire is Not Weakness

How does Draco sort out his feelings for Hermione Granger with an impending war? Students at Hogwarts are on edge, but will he be able to contain himself?


8. Worried

It has been said that the quality of life is not counted by happy moments, but the bad moments that are turned into happy moments.  Personally, I would count this as one of those.  As I opened my eyes, I saw Granger, lying there with her head on my chest, right arm draped over me, bushy hair cascading down my own arm, the book lying open in her lap.  Her breathing was steady, and our heart beats were mimicking each other’s pace.  I attempted to move without stirring her, only to see her fidget around a moment before opening her eyes.  She took one look at me, gazed around to her previous state of obvious slumber, and her eyes grew wide.  She moved back so quickly that her grip on the tree slipped and she fell from her branch.

“Arresto -” she had out.

“Levicorpus,” I spoke with a slight wave of my wand.  She reached out, grabbed a branch, and held on tightly.  Looking down to find that she wasn’t far off from the forest floor, she jumped from her currently setting and landed on her feet.  Reaching out her hand, the book that was sitting beside me flew right into it.  Wandless magic, but what else was to be expected from the “Brightest Witch of Her Age”.  She brushed herself off and strode away from me, and when I finally registered she was nearly gone, I climbed down and stumbled over myself to catch up with her.  When I had finally made up the distance, she curtly turned to me.

“And what exactly do you think you’re doing?  You wouldn’t want your little posse to see you with a mudblood, would you now?” she spat.

“Where’s all this coming from?” returning her comment with an offended look.  “Weren’t exactly worried about that when you were chatting it up with me in Hogsmeade,” I retorted.

“Common sense, Malfoy!  I refuse to be just another one of your flings.  You act like you care … like you’ve shown remorse for what you’re done.  All you want is to make a name for yourself, mend what you broke in order to bring some sense of dignity to the name that you hide behind.  You’re plastic,” the words rolled off her tongue in an icy tone.  “You’re still a self-righteous snob, a heartless, wretched being.  Nothing about you has changed,” she said, clearly frustrated.

Reputations are like shadows, I had decided.  Dark smudges following you wherever you go … and no matter what, you can’t shake them until you give in and go to that dark place yourself.  What was I thinking, what was my intention?  I was the guy who had tormented her for her entire school career, made her life hell, even after she stupidly forgave me.  I thought back to those flings she had mentioned when it dawned on me that nights like the one I had with Granger for few and far.  Who’s bed would I wake up in, what would I have on, what did I do the night before?  Count the mistakes, Draco, count the mistakes.

“Nothing about me has changed?  What do you expect, Granger?  That I just suddenly melt and become the biggest sap you’ve ever laid eyes on.  I’m not clay, you can’t just mold me into what you want at the drop of a hat, I’m not Weasley.  Not a chance,” I spat.

“Do you think I wanted any of this to happen?  Love is never intentional, you idiot.  It’s the most inconvenient thing to ever exist.  That’s why it knocks us sideways; especially cynical bastard like you.”

She was correct, but what’s new there?

“Love.  You didn’t say anything about love before,” I said, looking at her sharply.

“It’s wasted on you,” she said before turning away again.  Without looking at me, she spoke in that icy tone again, “If you’re going to be using the same entrance, you should wait at least five minutes before entering the castle behind me.

“What if I did love you?”

“You don’t destroy people you love,” she scoffed.  “You don’t love me.  You just don’t want to be   alone.  Try that line on Pansy, or one of the other girls you’ve been sleeping with these days.”

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