Kik | A.I |

It all started with a simple chat and everything changed for the both of them.


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6. Chapter 5

 

​Shit. That's my mood almost every moment of my life. Do I choose to feel like this everyday? No of course not. Do I wanna be happy? Yes, of course I do. But I guess life just chooses for me to not be happy. When one good thing comes around, it always finds a way to slip out of my fingers. A lot of times I wish I could start my life over and hope for a better one. People say to look for the positive things going on to 'help' with coping with this kind of thing but they don't get it, they clearly don't get it because that's not always going to help, I would say 3 times out of 10 that works because everyone is different, everyone's issue is different wither they suffer from self-hate, different forms of depression, anxiety. It's all different, so thinking of said positive things doesn't exactly help at all.

 

​Today @ 3:10pm

Asher Sirwin: ​Hello Lucy, how you doing today? (3:10pm)

 

Asher Sirwin: ​I hope your doing ok. I know you don't exactly trust me or know me very well but if you ever need someone to let your feelings out to, I'm here to listen to whatever you have to say :) (3:12pm)

 

Sure that's what everyone says. You tell that person exactly how you're feeling, then they act like they don't care. This is exactly who you should look out for. They say they'll listen. then they'll shut you out and ignore you like you don't exist at all.

 

For awhile I didn't answer him. Mainly because my emotions were acting up again. I cried randomly twice today. Lots of inside thoughts going through my head and all of them negative because well, that's my whole life. Sure he seems like he seems to care and could tell him a bit of what's happening but again, he could be just saying that just to make my feel better. I don't need a pity party when it doesn't mean anything to him. I don't trust him enough to tell him my mess of a life. And if he is one of those that genuinely cares and not one of those fake ass bitches, it's gonna take a whole lot of time for me to open up because I've never opened up to anyone before. Not even my parents because all they're gonna do is send me to a therapist and those people never help either. So I would consider myself stuck in between sinking to very bottom and ending it there once and for all, and the surface of a never seizing relentless hurricane.

 

****

For awhile I didn't answer him and for some reason it was kind of difficult not to because at this point I've got close to nobody. Other than him, I can count the amount of people on two hands. So I'm kinda debating in my head if I should talk to him or not.

 

​Today @ 7:36pm

​Asher Sirwin: ​Lucy, at least tell me your ok. Say hi or something so I can worry less, please? (7:37pm)

 

Why would he be worried? He hardly knows me, let alone know what's going on in my life. So I decided to at least reassure him that I'm ok, I wanted to talk to someone anyway...

 

​Jet Black: ​Hi, I'm not dead. You can stop worrying... (7:38pm)

 

Asher Sirwin: ​Heeey! Lucy! Good to hear your ok! What's goin on?! (7:38pm)

 

​Jet Black: ​Uh, nothing really. Why you seem so excited? (7:39pm)

 

Asher Sirwin: ​No reason. I can be excited for no reason can't I? (7:40pm)

 

Jet Black: ​Yeah, I guess so. Well, what's going on with you then? I'm nothing exciting, let's hear about you (7:41pm)

 

Asher Sirwin: ​Well, I'm just chillin with my boys and I got band practice in a little bit but I figured I'd talk with you before then (7:43pm)

 

Jet Black: ​You're in a band? (7:44pm)

 

Asher Sirwin: ​Yeah, I am. I play the drums *insert drumstick* they don't have an actual drum sticks emoji, I'm sad :( (7:46pm)

 

​Jet Black: ​lol, no they don't & that's so cool! (7:47pm)

 

Asher Sirwin: ​Thanks! I'm guessing you like music, why don't you list a few artists or bands you like, maybe we like some of the same things (7:48pm)

 

Jet Black: ​Yes, I do love music, it's literally everything. (7:49pm)

 

​Jet Black: ​Some bands and artists I love include, Halsey, Troye Sivan, Melanie Martinez, All Time Low, P!ATD, 5SOS, Green Day and many more I could continue for hours. (7:51pm)

 

Asher Sirwin: ​Oo, I figured that's where you got your kik name from, 5sos is a good band. I actually like all of those artists/bands you listed, how about that aye?! (7:52pm)

 

​Jet Black: lol yeah, I love that song. Jet Black Heart is my favorite. (7:53pm)

 

Asher Sirwin: ​That's cool, that's a good song. Hey, I gotta go now, I'll talk with you later, ok? (7:54pm)

 

Jet Black: ​Ok, bye, have fun (7:54pm)

 

​[Hey, sorry it's short. I didn't really know what to put for this one. I wanted to get something down for it to continue, hope you liked it! Bye! ]

 

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