A High School Story

You just have to read. (Not fully edited)


11. Chapter 10

I sat there watching Ruddy flirt with Jessica. I felt like I was going to be sick. I mean screw them if they make me third wheel it. Damn, I thought this would be more fun. But, instead I am sitting here eating pizza with two lovers across from me. Why did Ruddy invite me again? No freaking clue. I decided I was done when I finished the last piece of pizza. I got up, but they didn’t notice. So I left.


Of course Ruddy was too busy with Jess, to even notice that his best friends left. Screw him. I walked to the park and pulled out my phone. I dialed Connor’s number. “Hello?” He answered. “Hey what are you doing right now?” I asked. “Getting ready for a date with this one girl.” He said. Gosh dammit I hate Fridays. I let out a sigh of frustration. “What’s wrong?” He asked. “Nothing!” I snapped and hung up. I debated on calling Olivia. Then I did it. “Hello?” She said. “Hey what are you doing I am bored.” I say. “Going out with my boyfriend.” She said. She has a boyfriend? I guess I didn’t know. “Oh, well then sorry for interrupting, bye.” I say and hang up before she can say anything.


I finally just decided on walking back to the dorm. I got up and started the long ass walk. After a few minutes, I changed my direction and walked to some place. I thought to back to my story.


   John sat down next to his best friend, Adam. “Dude can you just forget about



her?” Adam asked. John looked up at him. “What do you think?” He asks. Adam didn’t



say anything, instead he watched his best friend slowly fall apart. “If you move on, then



it won’t hurt.” Adam finally said. “She isn’t Samantha!” John snapped.



   The girl they were talking about was Lillian. The most popular girl in school. But,



she was dating someone else. What made all of it harder for John, was that her, Adam,



and John were all best friends. But, John hated her boyfriend. Because of the the



things he has said to John. “I can’t just forget about my feeling about her.” John says



with a sigh. “I love her.” He cries.


    I was John and Ruddy was Lillian. That is how I felt, but I can’t tell him for three reasons. One: He is my best friend. Two: He is dating Jessica. And three: He isn’t gay, he doesn’t like boys, he likes girls.


    I also still hate Fridays. I mean everyone goes out with their boyfriends or girlfriends, but loners like me are left to be lonely.


   “Come on man, all you have to do is say the right words.” Adam said to John. The



music was playing around them. Lillian was dancing to herself waiting on her date. She



was wearing a long purple dress that brought out the color in her eyes. Shoes that



made her seem taller and makeup that sparkled. John let out a sigh. “John, life is like



Hangman, if you say the wrong things, then you hang yourself or another.” Adam said.



“In this case it is you, so say the right words and you will win the game.” He went on.



“But say the wrong ones, then it’s game over, but you get another chance with a



new game.” Adam finished. John looked at him and gave him a smile. Then he nodded



and made his way to the love of his life.


    I looked back into the window of the pizza place. I saw Ruddy laughing and watching Jess make her way to the bathroom. He was alone. I was about to take a step, until I noticed he still didn’t see my empty seat. I froze and felt pain.



  John walked over to Lillian and was about to say something. “Lillian, can we talk?” He



asked. She turned around and nodded, but John froze. He was thinking over his words.



He was thinking of the game. But he failed, by not playing. Lillian’s boyfriend came and



asked her for a dance. She smiled at him and took his hand. She walked away



forgetting about John.


    Jessica walked back out of the bathroom and she said something. It made Ruddy smile bigger than ever before. Jessica went on talking, then pointed to my seat. Ruddy followed her gesture, but then smiled even bigger.


    I swallowed back a scream and walked away. Is he the same way? Is he the kind of friend that talks behind his friends back. I called a taxi and wanted to forget about all of this. I wanted to forget about Ruddy and everyone.


*Ruddy’s POV*

    I saw Louie get up from the table and walk away. My guess was that he was going to the bathroom. So, I thought nothing of it. “Baby, we should go see a movie.” Jess said. I smiled and nodded. “Anything, well if Louie agrees.” I state. “I know, everyone in the group has to agree, but if not today then tomorrow just us.” She says. “Sure thing.” I say and kiss her. She went back to eating her pizza, as did I.


 She went on talking about her art class. And how her and Olivia pranked the art teacher. I laughed. After another good 30 minutes of talking, Jessica went to the bathroom. I turned and watched her leave. I smiled when she wiggled her ass, knowing I was watching. I turn back and saw the Louie was still gone. What the hell where is he. He went to the bathroom right? I let out a sigh and Jess showed back up. “I think Louie is throwing up, because I think we made him sick with your bad flirting.” She says. I laugh because I knew she might be right. She sat back down and we waited. Finally I got up and decided to check the bathroom.


   I walked in and noticed no one was in there, except for the old man washing his hands. “What the hell.” I say and he looks at me. I smile. “Sorry.” i say. He rolls his eyes and leaves. I look in all the stalls, then follow his lead. Jessica gave me strange look when I walked back out. “Is everything alright?” She asked. “I swear, Louie could be a fucking ninja.” I tell her. Usually I would want her to laugh at something like that, but the look on my face told her to stay quiet. “What do you mean?” She asks. “He isn’t in there, or anywhere here.” I tell her. “Wow, we made him really sick.” She says trying to lighten the mood.


   I ignored her and paid for the pizza. “Is that all sir?” The man asked after handing me my card back. “Um, yeah.” I say. He nods to tell me to go on. “The kid with curly hair that was with us, where did he go?” I asked, hoping he saw Louie. “Oh, the kid looked bored and left.” He said. “What?” I asked. “Walked straight out the door and walked away.” The man said. Then went back to his work. I turned to Jessica. She gave me a weak smile.


    Screw him. If he couldn’t hang out with me and my girlfriend ,then screw him. Who needs a Louie anyway? I felt so angry. Not at him, but at myself. Because I knew I needed a Louie. Just something about him that made me feel happy, home, safe, and calm. But when he was away. I felt, scared, worried, stressed and insane. I needed him.


    “Come on, we are going to a movie.” I tell Jess. “But what about…” I held up my hand to stop her from saying his name. I was letting my anger I had on myself out onto my feeling towards Louie. “Screw him!” I snapped and walked out. Jessica hesitated for a moment, then followed me. “Ruddy, don’t say that!” She snapped at me. I turned to her in shock. Manly because we never fight or snap at one another. “Don’t tell me what to say!” I say back. She flinched at my tone. She looked ready to cry. “You are just mad at yourself.” She said softly. “You aren’t mad at him, you can’t get mad at him, not with how much you care.” She goes on. “Oh, Shut The Fuck Up!” I snap harder and louder.


    I got a few sour eyes to turn my way. Jessica reached up and slapped me. But, I needed it. She scoffed and walked away. But before she climbed into a taxi, she turned back to me. “Screw You!” She yells and climbs in. I never before, in my life, seen Jessica care for Louie like that. I stumbled back a little trying to figure out what happened. People passing by gave me evil looks or looks of pity. Some even stopped and stared. “Keep walking!” I snap and get into my car. I screamed at my windshield and laid my head in the steering wheel. And I cried, all because I was pissed off at myself.


*Louie’s POV*

    I went diving into my bed right away when I got to the dorm. The only downside to all of this, is that Ruddy is my room mate. The gray cat, that I have named Todd, meowed and curled next to me. I barred my face in his soft fur and closed my eyes. But instead of sleep. I got tears.


    Why did it hurt so much to see Ruddy so in love, and the love isn’t for me? None of it is. Why is it that when I look at Ruddy I feel butterflies and my heart picks up, but he doesn’t see? I just want to know why I have these feelings for him.


    Just then there was a knock on the door. “Come in.” I say weakly. “Louie?” Jessica’s voice said softly. I didn’t look up at her. “Hey I am sorry for those things I said last weekend, I was just mad at myself.” She said. I still ignored her. “Why did you leave? And why are you crying?” She asked. I just went right on ignoring her. “I slapped Ruddy when he said he didn’t need you.” She said. I looked up at her. She looked like she was crying too. She smiles lightly at me and holds out her arms. And for some strange reason I sat up and hugged her.


    She smelled nice for a girl. Her hair was soft and her steady breathing seemed quite. Nothing like Ruddy. I almost kind of liked in. Not to mention she was soft, in two ways.


    “Louie? Can you tell me what is wrong?” She asked. I sniffed. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” She says. “I’m sorry.” I say. She pushed me away to look at me. “For what?” She asks. “For leaving, for not talking, for crying like a baby.” I say. SHe glared at me. “ Louie Hunter Smith, there is nothing wrong with that, there is no need to be sorry.” She scolds. Then she sighs and pulls me in for another hug. “Come here.” She says softly again. I smile and hug her back.


    “Can I tell you something?” I asked and was wondering why I wanted to tell her. I mean it’s Jessica. “Anything.” She says. We were now sitting on my bed playing uno and petting Todd. “Promise you won’t tell anyone?” I ask. I don’t know when I became friends with her, but I did. “I promise, I will not tell anyone, not even Ruddy.” She says. I let out a sigh. “I am...I am...ugh never mind.” I say. She raised a brow. “I am gay.” I spit out. She stared at me with a shocked look on her face. “Why would you tell me this?” She asks. I shrugged, feeling stupid and mad again. She sighed. “Okay, I promise I will keep it between us.” She says.


    We went on playing, we have been for an hour. “So,what boys do you like?” She asked. “I don’t know, any that seem to spark me.” I answer truthfully. She nodded as in to agree with me. “You and Ruddy are still dating right?” I asked. She looked up at me. “Yeah, why wouldn’t we be?” She asked. “I just didn’t know if I caused a break up or not. Because if I did then I would feel bad.” I state. She nods.


   Just then Ruddy walks in and stares at me and her playing Uno. “Care to join?” I asked him after a couple of silent minutes. Jessica just scoffed and glared at him. They two didn’t say anything, but glare at one another. “Anyway, I think I should get going, I had a fun time Louie, bye.” Jess says and leaves without saying anything to Ruddy. Ruddy didn’t even turn and watch her leave.


    Once it was just me and him, he finally let out a sigh. “Why did you leave?” He asks softly like I am a two year old child. “Why would I want to stay and watch that.” I stated more than asked. He sat down next to me. “I’m sorry.” He says. I frowned at him. “For what?” I asked. He rested his face in his hands and looked up at me. “For forcing you to hang out with me and Jess on a friday night. You could have been doing something more fun then hanging out with us.” He says. I scoffed. “Like what? Go on a date with Todd?” I asked. He smiled. “That is as close as you are getting to a Pussy.” He said. I smiled, manly because that is the closest I want to be to one.


    “Just so you know, I got slapped in the middle of the parking lot in front of the pizza place.” He says. I didn’t laugh at him, but I also didn’t drop my smile. He lets out another sigh. “I am still sorry.” He says. But, before I can ask what for, he is already talking again. “I feel like I am failing at being your friend. I will try harder next time.” He says. I let out a scoff and he gives me a strange look. “Why are you being so sad and gloomy? What happened to the real Ruddy? The one I became friends with in the first place?” I asked. He had a blank look on his face. “Too many questions at once. Brain on overload. Shutting down.” He says and falls back into the bed.


    I laughed at him. “There is the Ruddy I know.” I say more to myself then anything. “We still good man?” He asks for more of his sake than anything else. I nodded. “Yeah man, we are good.” I say and lay back in the bed too.


    After a couple more minutes of silence. Ruddy speaks up again. “Since when did you and Jessica become friends?” He asks. “It just sorta happened.” I say. He nods and turns over to face me. “Are you sure, no more lies.” He said. I let out a sigh. “Okay, no more lies.” I tell him. He gave me a look as in to continue. I started at where I didn’t want to go home for the holidays. Then I went to my grades and how I was having trouble in a class. Then to how even the nerds of the school were outcasting me. “I am gonna kill those punks.” He says. “Going to.” I say. “What?” He asks. “Going to, not gonna...anyway.” I say and go on.


Then I finally tell him what Jess said to me out in the hall. He looked pissed, but told him to forget about it. “Why should I? My own girlfriend told my best friend to go die.” He goes off, but hold up my hand to shut him up. He does, so I go on. I tell him him about how I was as single as a pringle and everyone else isn’t. Then I stopped on the one thing I couldn’t tell him. “Go on…” He says. I turn to him. “That’s it.” I tell him and get up. I was about to head to the bathroom, but Ruddy stopped me. “Remember, no more lies.” He says. I look down at my feet. “For fucks sake, I am your friend. No wait, best friend. You can tell me anything.” He says. I let out a sigh and look him in the face. I gave him a weak smile and said the three words. No not I love you. But the I am gay.

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