This is my current situation I sit at when it comes to a particular, someone. I have discovered feelings in which I never knew I had, some of these feelings though I am not pleased with and some of the things I did associate with these feelings I'm also not happy about. Life, is life, what can you do about it? Live it with no regrets.


2. How It Began

It all started with a simple “Hello” over a popular video game, the introduction of common friends and the late night messages that would go on until morning. At first, we got along well, then it struck me that I may have fallen for this person. People wonder how do we fall for a person, is it their looks? To some it’s their looks but not in this case. She is maybe beautiful but that is not what had attracted me to her. The one thing that attracted me to her was the way we would communicate with each other. Communication is key to any working relationship, and with this, it didn’t take me long to find out I was too late.

She was already taken by another man, a man that she did not enjoy being with. At first, I tried to break them up out of sheer jealousy, that didn’t work and I started to think what am I doing? This isn’t me, this isn’t something I would do, and why am I starting to be like this now? Not long after that, I apologized if I had gotten in the way of their relationship but I don’t think she understood what I meant by “Sorry if I am getting in the way, I don’t want to break you two up”.

We spoke more to each other every day, I had started to rely on her to waste the spare hours of my day, and she relied on me to assist her with her problems. Is that all I’ll ever be for a woman? A problem solver? A filler? The man that helps with all problems? At first, it didn’t annoy me, but once she had started talking about other men that she may be interested it, that is when it started to hurt. Helping her out with problems she had with other men, I thought it shouldn’t annoy me but once again jealousy kicked in. Is this what love is really like? Being jealous every time the one you like goes for some other man.

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