3. Heartbreak comes
The next week, when she arrived to help out on the soup run, I asked her how the interview went, and she told me she’d got the job. So that was it. In a few weeks, she’d be moving away and I’d never see her again. I was happy for her, but my heart was breaking inside. That evening, instead of taking the soup run round the town, we took the van to a sink estate and gave drinks and snacks to the kids playing football. Amy and I joined in a game on opposite sides. We ended up marking each other, and she proved a tough opponent. Eventually though, I got the ball off her, dribbled it down the pitch and into the net. GOAL! She decided to take a breather on the sidelines, where she chatted to some of the other kids and watched me play on.
“Is that man your boyfriend?” I heard one of the kids ask as I ran past her. I wanted to stop and say “If only”, but thought better of it.
“I haven’t got a boyfriend,” she replied. My heart broke some more. It could so easily have been different, I thought. The game ended, we packed up the van and went back to base. I walked her back home that night with sadness in my heart, and when I got to my flat after dropping her off, I broke down and wept on my bed.
It seemed so unfair. Why had God brought this wonderful woman into my life, and brought me to the verge of thinking she would be staying around, just to take her away again? I began to doubt whether the God I’d believed in for as long as I could remember really loved me. Did He even exist at all?