50 Shades Of 3 Second Luke & ROOFIE xD

Soooo this is for Luke and I. Since I'll invite him to co-author or write it with me. But yeah it's kinda like the Scarlet Letter, and yeah. It's what he means to me. And whatever he puts in here. xD

@3 SECOND LUKE

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31. CONTINUEDDDDDDDD ~ALL BY ANNA :)

 

Black Dahlia~Hollywood Undead

I F**NG LOVED YOU!! I loved you so much that I'd stay up until three to four am JUST to talk to you because of the damn time difference. Remember the last call you ever made and I was up until 5 AM AND STILL HAD TO GO TO SCHOOL??? Were you ever even in LA or was that a lie too? Who knows? Maybe you were still in England because I think you were. REMEMBER when one of us called and I listened to you CRYING?! Telling me that you wanted to D1E! I cried so much that night. I begged you to stay. I was so worried that the next day you might attempt. I was balling. Maybe that as fake, but I didn't think so because the tears and voice sure as H3LL thought it was F$#ing real. That's why I started saying "delay" instead of "save" because you didn't like the word save. Because you can't completely save someone. You can delay them from attempting but that doesn't mean they won't try again. WAS THAT A LIE????

You know how I even found out??? INSTAGRAM!!!! I looked you up before,months earlier, but didn't find anything. I looked you up a week or so ago. actually tomorrow would mark a week. And GUESS WHO I FOUND OUT HAS AN INSTAGRAM :) I looked at the profile picture since you were at the top of the list. I clicked on it and was like, "Ohh wow...this..is...weird...he kinda looks like Luke." Now of course I expected the name to be Luke because that's what I looked up but then I saw the location and the rest of the pictures, and knew it was you. You know, what's sad?? My heart didn't even drop. My heart didn't skip a beat, didn't break completely there. I was just instantly filled with anger and self hatred. Hatred, because I should've listened to my friend. They told me to end things with you, but every time I was about to, you would actually come around. And I just didn't want to leave someone like you, because "What if he doesn't fight for me?" Ya' know? So I held on for many stupid aSS reasons.

But then I found your Instagram and all of the, "My one and only" captions and pictures. Clicked on her account and saw all of the "AWEEEE my babyxxxx" And all that shit. I saw how fucking happy you were. How you looked. You NEVER looked that happy when I was with you. You were always depressed and you made me think that I was some kind of disease. Because all of my ex's cheated. So obviously I'm doing something wrong right???? Like, I try not to burden people with all of my problems and stuff. I act as if I don't have depression when in reality I do. I try to stay positive and I don't tell them my story until I feel like they'd understand, and I can gage on how they'll react. Or until I trust them completely. I don't talk about my s3lf hArM until I think I'm ready and all. I try to be honest with them right off the bat. So why do they always end like this??? Everything seems fine at first. Until the dating begins. The flirting stops. The happiness stops. Everything fades away.

You were the one person that I actually had high hopes in. That you wouldn't cheat, lie and break my heart. But look what you did, Luke :P You literally broke the promise you made, the day we met. I was going to try and help you, make you happy, comfort you, anything you wanted. I was going to help you through depression and all that just like couples do. They help each other. They communicate. they laugh, love, fight (we never fought surprisingly), smile, kiss, listen, to.

 

But then I found your Instagram and all of the, "My one and only" captions and pictures. Clicked on her account and saw all of the "AWEEEE my babyxxxx" And all that shit. I saw how fucking happy you were. How you looked. You NEVER looked that happy when I was with you. You were always depressed and you made me think that I was some kind of disease. Because all of my ex's cheated. So obviously I'm doing something wrong right???? Like, I try not to burden people with all of my problems and stuff. I act as if I don't have depression when in reality I do. I try to stay positive and I don't tell them my story until I feel like they'd understand, and I can gage on how they'll react. Or until I trust them completely. I don't talk about my s3lf hArM until I think I'm ready and all. I try to be honest with them right off the bat. So why do they always end like this??? Everything seems fine at first. Until the dating begins. The flirting stops. The happiness stops. Everything fades away.

You were the one person that I actually had high hopes in. That you wouldn't cheat, lie and break my heart. But look what you did, Luke :P You literally broke the promise you made, the day we met. I was going to try and help you, make you happy, comfort you, anything you wanted. I was going to help you through depression and all that just like couples do. They help each other. They communicate. they laugh, love, fight (we never fought surprisingly), smile, kiss, listen, to  each other. THEY COMMUNICATE with each other. You put on this "I'm so trustworthy" personality and then do this??

If we actually would've broken up and you would've said any of those 6 that was on the previous list; I wouldn't be doing this. Even if you admitted to cheated, I wouldn't be publishing this, but you didn't do anyone of those 6. You were on like 2 days ago and I was messaging you and you just ignored me. I don't even remember the date of the last time we spoke. Also, even if we broke up I would've still said that I was there for you, and that I still care about you. But I don't. I don't want to either. You took an already broken girl and made her worse. It's like giving water to a person that's drowning. You don't even have the balls to even say you're sorry.  

 

No, everyone. It's not "Well maybe he was just waiting for the 'right' time to say something." NO. We haven't actually talked, as in video called in a month. He ignored me for weeks. actually for a month. Even when we first began dating we didn't really talk. I went a week of spamming him; in which I asked if I should stop and have asked him that on multiple occasions throughout the relationship and he denied ever being annoyed by it. I said that if it ever does become a bother then he should tell me and I made him promise that he would. I thought he'd be honest and tell me if it would too.  I backed off then, yeah I'd still send messages on a daily basis, but I'd still become majorly depressed when I'd see that he was on and I "missed him". And that he'd NEVER be the first to actually start a conversation. Hence, why I felt like the man in the relationship. Please don't think I'm assuming gender roles or something. Ugh, I don't need that right now.

But regardless, throughout the relationship, I was neglected and majorly depressed. He'd ALWAYS say, "talk to you tomorrow" or "I'll call you tomorrow" the calls and messages would NEVER come. I'd tell him that my mom works this day and he'd never be on to talk. Even though he'd be on Movellas. You see, once I STOP spamming and messaging you, that's when it gets bad. That means that there's something wrong. Because even if there's family drama, friend drama, internal drama, depression or what not. I'll still message you ESPECIALLY if it's my boyfriend. But if you don't hear from me at all even for a day, or longer; then you should start worrying.

I admit that I'm clingy. I openly admit that, and you knew that. I want to "I hope she takes your filthy heart and throws it away someday."

Sorry if this is out of order but when I wrote it all on here I think that I used the maximum amount of words or something. So I had to copy and paste it to Google Docs and it got mixed up. APPARENTLY, he's out with his mates. OH, YEAH, I FOLLOWED BOTH OF THEM ON INSTAGRAM ;) <3

 

 
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