Truth behind closed doors

find out how Alec and Magnus came to terms with their real feelings. will everyone agree or will they be pushed away

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2. What he doesn't know... (alec's pov)

    Magnus had taken a hold of my hand and proceeded to take my virgin Shadowhunter energy. How does he know I’m a virgin? I could have done it. I must have looked ready to faint because all I heard was a buzzing in my ears and then Magnus.
“Alec, hold on, I’m almost done.” I didn’t know if I could give much more. I wasn’t going to faint, but having my energy drained is making me light headed and drowsy. I really want sleep, but Magnus still needs a bit more. I’m going to become concerned about my health if he takes more than he says he needs. 
“Magnus, how much more do you really need?” I asked with a strained voice. I could tell the energy he was taking from me was helping. After all, he’s now the one leaning over me while I lay down on the floor, weak from having my energy drained. And yet, I voluntarily did this. I hate to admit it, but I would do anything for Magnus. I was rapidly developing feelings for this Warlock, and I wasn’t doing a thing about it. If I do, I don’t think I’ll be able to be honest about it to Jace or the rest of my family. Well, Izzy already knows I’m gay. She also annoyingly hints at my attraction to this glittery and sexy Warlock. To be honest, I wouldn’t mind ripping his shirt off and licking my down his chest until I reach...focus, Alec, focus. Now is not the time for those thoughts. I expelled a breath I wasn’t aware I was holding and returned my focus to the situation at hand. I chose the right time because Magnus was just finishing and about to speak to me. 
“Alec, I’m about finished. I just need thirty more seconds.” He sounded unnecessarily concerned about me. I could handle getting a few ounces of energy drained. 
“Take what you need, Magnus. I trust you.” Why did I just say that? As I said those last three words, he looked at me in some sort of shock. Oh no...he’s wondering why I said that too. Why do I have to be gay? Why do I have to be falling for a warlock. Why this warlock? He’s just so...so...oh shit...he’s speaking to me again.
“Alexander, I’m glad you trust me, but I’m concerned about your complexion. You’re becoming pale. Am I taking too much?” Right as he finished speaking, he pulled away from me, sitting back on his heels and concluded with taking my energy. I moved my wavering gaze to his eyes. His beautiful cat eyes. 
“Magnus, I’m completely fine.” I tried sitting up to kneel, so I could stand up. As I was beginning to stand, I fell backwards  ungracefully, only to have my ass land ceremoniously back on the cold, hard floor. Everything went blurry as I heard Magnus yell to Jace to take me somewhere. 

My eyes flashed open, and I looked around the room. What happened? I realized it was my room and immediately tried to sit up. As soon as I began to move, someone grabbed my upper arm to pull me back down. I looked over to protest, but my words were extinguished as my gaze fell upon Magnus’s distraught features. Was he concerned about me? Does he have feelings for me? I brought my head forward into my hands and gripped it in pain. My thoughts about him were too much for my head. Magnus rushed closer to me asking me what was wrong. I hadn’t gasped in pain, but he knew better. 
“Alexander, what’s wrong?” Concern was written plainly on his face.
“I have to get up,” I said pointedly.
“Alexander, you need to rest. You need to gain your strength back.” He was genuinely concerned about me. 
“I do need strength, but I need you more.” He looked at me in shock, but once the disbelief passed all the way through his concerned features, he looked at me in what I believed to be lust. I don’t know what just came over me to say that. He blinked as if he was trying to make sure something was real. Oh Magnus, it is real. He let out a shaky but exasperated sigh and walked towards the door. 
“You need to rest because once you have all your strength back, I will not hesitate to make you say what you just said...again.” After he said that, he walked out. What does he mean by that? I guess I’ll have to rest and gain my strength back to find out. 

He gently put his hands on each side of my head and brought his lips down to meet mine. When our lips met, I felt like the rest of the world didn’t matter. Nobody else mattered. Jace was my parabatai, but I no longer felt anything for him. He was only my parabatai. I moved my lips in sync with Magnus’s and placed my hands on his hips. His tongue was at my lips asking for entrance, and I opened mine to allow his tongue access. Soon enough, our tongues were fighting for dominance while exploring each other’s mouths. I moaned into his mouth as he started to nibble on my bottom lip. I was no longer a Shadowhunter. I was just a young man kissing his potential boyfriend. My heart tightened as Magnus moved his hands down to explore my body until they rested on my hips. I moved my arms to hang them around his neck. His hands shortly moved to squeeze my ass, and it felt so good. I moaned in response to his touch. Magnus broke the kiss, so we could both take a breath. 
“Alexander, stay with me.”
“What about the others?” I started to hear my name being called. 
“Alec?” I groaned in response, but it wasn’t enough for them. “Alec...Alec...Alec!”
“What?” I screamed in annoyance. I opened my eyes and saw Izzy. “Sorry, Iz. I didn’t mean to snap at you.”
“It’s okay, Alec. I just wanted to let you know dinner is ready, so you can eat if you’re hungry.”
“Did you cook it?” She slapped my arm before responding.
“No! I know how much you hate my cooking.”
“Izzy, everyone hates it.” She gave me a death glare before changing the subject.
“Anyways, what were you dreaming about?”
“Why?” I don’t want anybody to know.
“You looked very peaceful. I haven’t seen you sleep that peacefully in years.”
“You watch me sleep?”
“Only when you fall asleep while we talk at night sometimes. You know those talks that nobody knows about. Like the one when you admitted to me about being gay?”
“Yes, Izzy. I know what you’re talking about.” I sighed in frustration. Izzy was a lot to handle sometimes, but I loved her anyway. 
“So, what were you dreaming about?”
“So, dinner?” I tried dodging her question.
“Alexander Gideon Lightwood, what are you hiding? Ooh, it must be good if you don’t even want to tell me.”
“Izzy, I don’t know what to tell you.”
“Don’t lie to me.”
“Fine! It was about Magnus.”
“Ooh yay! I knew you were into him.”
“Yeah...yeah...I know you did.”
“He’s into you too.”
“I highly doubt that.” She looked into my eyes before she replied.
“Alec, he’s into you. He looks at you like your the only thing that matters.”
“I don’t know about that, Izzy.”
“Alec, when are you going to open your eyes? I love you, but you are completely clueless. He didn’t call you when we were on the rooftop to tell you he needed all of us.”
“Izzy, he said he needed all of us.”
“He said he did, but he only needed you.”
“What do you mean?”
“Alec, whose energy did he need?”
“Mine?”
“Yours.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“He called for all of us, but he only needed you.” 
“Izzy, You may be right, but I’m hungry. Can we get food now?”
“Face the truth, Alec. That warlock wants you, and you want him. The truth will come out sooner or later.” Izzy was wiser than I gave her credit for. She was being my voice of reason, and she was right. The truth will eventually come out. When Iz realized I gave no indication that I was going to reply, she got me out of bed, and we walked down to the kitchen for dinner.

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