Gripping the Mist

~ For the Replica Competition.

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11. Crazy

 "You're daughter will be more than fine..." I hear a mysterious male voice speak as I drift in and our of focus. "She has only suffered from a slight over dosage. This could not have caused any brain damage or illnesses. But we must consider that she took it upon herself to take that many pills. Not only that, but her reaction when she woke up. I've heard the whole story from many witnesses, including yourself, and I'm quite sure that I have a firm grasp on whats wrong..."

 "Then what is it? Is she going to be okay?" This is my mother speaking.

 "She should be fine. She's in a state of delirium. It appears that she may have been seeing things lately, perhaps these things had provoked her to take the pills. I seriously doubt its anything serious. But we will keep her here for a little while to make sure that it isn't anything dangerous." There was a moment where all I could hear was my moms sniffling. "I would invite you to stay, Mona. But my team and I are planning to run some tests on Esther here in the not too distant future, and we find it easier without any guests."
 "Oh! Of course, doctor. I'll be on my way." I then hear my mother scurry out of my room. All I can hear are the faint breaths of the doctor in the room. When I sense him shuffling in the direction of where I lay, I force my eyes open.

 "Awake so soon?" He grins at me, sympathy in his voice. "Don't feel you can't rest just because of my presence. Continue to sleep if you wish. It was a high dose of anesthesia you were given, so I don't expect you to be all bright eyed and bushy tailed. "

 "I- I'm not tired," I growl, my voice raspy but I have no desire to clear it. Because to be honest, I don't think I have the strength. I am tired. At this very moment I can feel myself being pulled back under by the drug, but I fight it long enough to hold my glare at the doctor.

 "You aren't are you?" He laughs to himself. "Very well. Perhaps I will get my team of nurses to run our scheduled test then. Be right back..."

 I watch him exit the clean, gray coloured room through a set of double doors. But before he can come back, I fall back into my hazy dreamless land. Newton was ignoring me...

 

 

 My eyes droop as I hold them open, staring at the wall across from me. I feel horrible. I'm drowsy, groggy and just want to sleep. But I can't. The needle poking into my arm is lodged into the crook of my elbow and it hurts like hell to even try and position myself more comfortably. I feel like I am still in a hospital, considering everything that I've noticed so far, but its not. I know it. It is much more different from the hospital rooms I have ever been in in my life. It is quieter, calmer... And really, more soothing.

 But at the same time it makes me angry. I could faintly remember the doctors conversation at this point, and the one word that I could vividly remember him speaking was delirium. He thought I was crazy. He thought that I was seeing things, hearing things, but I wasn't. It was real! It had to be...

 "Albert, she's awake." I hear a female voice call from the door. I look to see a nurse peering through the door, smiling at me.

 "Oh, good!" Chimed the voice of the doctor as he came bustling down the hall. "I haven't exactly had a chance to talk to her yet."

 Quite suddenly he appeared next to the nurse, mimicking her sympathetic smile. I can't even muster a grin in their direction. Why? Because I hate them already. Its the way these people have treated me so far. Like I was a child, unable to think for myself. So instead, I just glare, waiting expectantly to hear what is so important about what they are about to say.

 "Esther!" The doctor beams, adjusting his white lab looking coat as he walks in, the nurse trailing behind. "Welcome, welcome! I am your doctor. You can call me Albert if you wish." He was now standing at my bed side.

 "Where am I?" I ask, not taking my sagging eyes off of his.

 "Just a hospital." He smiles.

 "What hospital?" I press. He isn't going to get away with that half ass answer.

 "You are in the most well known and trusted psychiatric hospital in the state, Esther. No need to get worried." He says, still holding his optimistic tone.

 "What?" I almost shout, attempting to get up but wincing back from the pain that is throbbing inside my skull.

 "Its okay, darling..." The nurse rushes to my other side and eases me back down. Oh, I wish she didn't, it only made me appear more weak. And all I knew was that the weaker and less stable I looked, the longer it would take me to get out of here. And that was the only thought that rushed into my mind after he broke the news to me just a brief second ago. I need to get out.

 "I don't need to be here! Let me out, there is nothing wrong with me," I shout up at the doctor. But he just grins to himself as he pulls a notebook and pen from his coat pocket and begins scribbling notes.

 "There are many reasons why you need to be here, Sweetheart," He counters.

 "Why? Because I seemed a little caught off guard after waking up after some weird coma? Or the fact that I was getting sick of my shit stupid life? There is nothing strange about that! Now let me go!" I scream, the doctors conversation with my mother earlier begins coming back to me. I push myself up again, but a different force pulls me back down. I look to find my wrist tightly tied to to railing of the bed. Before I can take in what is happening, the nurse is at my other side, doing the same to my other wrist. Tears stream down my face. "What? What do you want from me?"

 The doctor takes a seat next to me and eyes me carefully before he starts. "I'm going to ask you a few questions..."

 "Then will you let me go?"

 "Perhaps" He answers without any effort in trying  to sound convincing as he begins taking notes in his note book. He isn't going to let me go. I have to turn my face away as I takes the blow of his lie, tears are now coming out like a constant stream. But as I look away, sobbing, something catches my eye in the dull room. In the faint, silver sunlight seeping into the room from a barred window, a shape takes form. I immediately recognize Newton. Instead of screaming at him like last time, I just glare at him before the doctor begins to speak again.

 "Now, Esther. Why do you think you're here?" He asks calmly. I turn and look at him.

 "Because you put me here..." I sneer. He glances up and gives me an unreadable look before returning his eyes to his paper to take more notes.

 "Okay... well lets skip to some more technical questions, shall we?"

 "Please," I yawn.

 "Tell me why you took those pills." He asks, his pen never leaving the paper as I know that he is scribbling down my every response.

 "I just wanted to sleep," I say, making a side glance at the misty shape of Newton who is still watching in the corner by the window.

 "Then why did you take so many?"

 "Just an accident." I shrug. He nods as he continues to write.

 "Okay, now tell me the first thought you can remember when you woke up in the hospital. Was it anger, sadness, relief?" He presses on.

 "Anger," I growl my response, daring myself not to look at Newton again.

 "Any specific thoughts?" I am becoming annoyed with these questions.

 "I just wanted to be with him," I truthfully reply.

 "Him?" He asks, finally stopping and looking up from his notebook. "Who's him?"

 I make a wicked smile and nod in the direction of Newton. "Him."

 I catch the doctor make a quick look at the corner that must had been empty in his sights. Suddenly, he leans against my bed, abandons his note book and sighs in what can only be frustration. "Just tell me what you think may have made you act the way you did when you woke up."

 I turn and stare directly at Newton who looks away out the window. "I was angry at him."

 The doctor combs his finger through his graying hair, his face looking extra tired. "And why were you angry at him, Esther?" He asks, already assuming that the answer will be nonsense and nothing to his help or interest.

 "I'm angry at him because he sent me back. Because he wants me to live without him."

 The doctor sighs once more. "Esther, have you recently had a serious relationship with someone that ended badly?" He asks dully.

 "No, why?" I ask, holding a fake, sweet smile at him. He eyed me for a second before getting up and leaving the room.

 "That'll be all, Esther." He grumbles before exiting.

 Hmmph, how rude, I think to myself, he didn't even say thank you. I was now left alone in the room, well except for Newton who was lingering in the corner, but I didn't count that as a person at the moment. I was a women, I was angry, so my natural defense is to pretend that whoever made me upset doesn't exist. Well... I thought... Or exist less than he already does.

 I avoided his eyes even though I felt them burning into the side of my head. So instead, I just took in the large room around me. There wasn't much to look at though. The walls were blank and colourless. The only thing that I could find that stood out against the monotone of the room was the chipped and scratched blue nail polish on my finger nails. I sighed as I thought about what a waste of space this place was for one patient.

 Many long moments went by before I couldn't resist the temptation to look at him. "You have no right to take control of my life!" I burst out into the silence and took in his transparent figure as the suns rays pierced his body. He smiled at his shoes before he stepped away from the window, his heavy boots making no sound against the smooth floor. 

 "I do when you abandon that position of power..." He said calmly, still smiling to himself.

 "Yeah? And what's that supposed to mean?" I spit the first comeback that I can think of at him, just making myself sound even dumber since I already knew the answer. His dull eyes flashed up at me.

 "You gave up on your life, Nimbus. I had no choice but to take control until you got yourself together."

 "Oh yeah!" I belched, using my head to indicate around the room since my wrists were tied down still. "I've totally got myself together now. In this insane asylum. I feel really intact with my marbles."

 "It's your behavior that landed you in here, Nimbus. This is for the best." He came to a halt at the foot of my bed. 

 "My behavior?!" I repeated in exasperation. "They only think that I'm crazy because of you!"

 "And why is that?" He smiles.

 "Because they can't see you."

 "So you want me to leave?" He asks innocently, turning away towards the window, but I stop him.

 "No!" I call. No matter how angry I am at him, he is all I have now. "No, don't leave me here!"

 "I won't. But this is the best place for you, Nimbus. You must not argue."

 "Well I am arguing. Because I don't agree! I'm not crazy!" I call at him. He paces over to the left side of my bed and came to a halt. There was a long silence where we just stared at each other before he reached out a hand and placed it on top of my chained up one. Through the cold touch of his misty fingers, I felt a spark of warmth. This immediately calmed me down. 

 "Do you know why you're the only one that can see me?" He asks gently.

 "No," I reply honestly.

 "Neither do I. But maybe he can tell you..."

 "What?" I was dumbfounded as I looked over to the door where I saw Newton's eyes flash. There stood Albert, my doctor, leaning against the door frame, his eyebrows furrowed as he looked at me with concern. I didn't think much of his presence, or care how long he had been watching me, I just went to look back up at Newton. No, not even that I could grasp. I only got one glimpse of his sympathetic face before he dissolved into nothing but the dusty, sun lit air. "No... Newton. Don't leave me, I want to go back to space!" I screeched, my anger burning hotter and hotter as I spoke. "Take me with you! Take me with you!"

 "Esther, Esther!" The doctor called as he rushed to my side. "It's okay!"

 "No," I growled as I looked at the doctors face from the corner's of my eyes. "Not for as long as I am here!" I roared in rage as I attempted to lunge at him. Before he had time to jump away, I did the only thing that I could do that would cause damage without the use of my hands. I bit down at his long nose and felt a trickle of his blood as he yelled in pain. Before he could escape, though, I kicked up my legs that weren't tied down to the bed and kicked him as hard as I could in the side of the head as the wheels on the legs of my bed sent me twisting and turning across the floor. The doctor fell and hit his head on the rail that my wrist was chained to and sent my bed rolling away from him as he fell to the floor. My bed came to a halt when it smacked into the window sill. 

 I felt myself begin to laugh as I tilted my head back and lifted my back off the bed as high as I could, looking out at the setting sun behind the barred window. The now unconscious doctor's blood was smeared all over my lips. Yeah, okay, maybe I was crazy... but I liked the sound of the word. It only made my mind turn even more wild as the shocked looking nurses rushed into the room. Little miss Esther. Look at me, I've gone bonkers! 

 

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