My head was spinning, the music was loud. Everything was blur but I didn't care. As far as I was concerned I was having fun. I remember the smokey room and people dancing. It was all coming back in pieces like a puzzle. All of it was fuzzy and patchy but that's a sign it must have been a good night. I was used to it. Every other night I'd go out with one of my friends to some random person's house get drunk until we can't walk and then wake up the next morning with a patchy memory. This morning I had woken up on someone's sofa with a splitting headache. Luckily my phone was still in my pocket so I used my GPS to see where I was and caught a cab home. Home wasn't so much home because it was just a house with people who hardly gave a crap about me.
I did the usual and snuck in through the laundry room's window and the stairs to my messy lair. I was currently washing my face with cold water and scrubbing off my make up. I picked up my grey towel and rubbed my face dry and then looked in the mirror with my hands resting on the marble bench top. I bent down ripped open the cupboard and pulled out my make up bag. My make up was something that always kept me looking sane. I covered up the bags under my eyes and the hikeys on my neck. I never got much acne but I had freckles that I hated so I covered those up too. I coated my lashes in mascara and colored my blonde eyebrows brown, covered my lids in black eyeshadow and last but not least I filled in my lips with a wine colored matte lipstick. My make up looked good so I shoved the bag back under the cup board and walked into my wardrobe. It was autumn here so I decided to go with a pair of baggy black high waisted jeans that looked like they had been given to a tiger to play with. I pulled on a black Rolling Stones T-shirt and brushed through my hair quickly, All black may seem depressing but at least it looked good. I tied a red flannel around my waist and put on my combat boots. Before I forgot I went into the bathroom and rummaged through the pockets of my jeans from last night. I pulled out the Polaroid and smiled. It was a photo of me and Angie sticking our tongues out at the party last night. I pinned it on my wall where it joined all the other photos from various places and parties I've been to. I loved adventure and so far that's what my life consisted of.
I looked around the room feeling that I was missing something then I realised I wasn't wearing my backpack. I picked up the denim weekender backpack and shoved my phone in my back pocket. Okay now I was ready to go. I stepped towards my door trying to make as least noise as I could. I swung open the door and I was face to face with the devil himself. "Well well look who finally shows her face." Louis stood in front of me with his arms crossed over his chest in the door way. He was my brother.
"Louis move." I say to him not daring to look him in the eye. He was always trying to drag me away from the life I was living but frankly it was better than life at home.
"Stay. Please." He begs and his expression softens. He knew I had a soft spot for him but either way I wasn't going to stay. I look him in the eye and I can see the sadness in them. I hated leaving him but I had no problem leaving the rest of my family. "Queen, you can't live like this forever." He was completely right. But I still shook my head.
"Don't expect to see me again anytime soon." I clutched my bag and pushed passed him as I was making a quick B-line out the door. I sighed with relief once I was outside and walking down the street. I didn't own a car or any type of transportation. Working at a pub doesn't exactly earn you much money. I that's what I did during the week and during the weekends, well exactly what I'm doing now. I am heading off to the little cafe in our neighbourhood for some fresh pancakes and coffee to get rid of my hangover. The wind was blowing slightly and leaves crunched under my feet with every step I took. I loved autumn. The way it was slightly colder than usual and all the trees became orange. It was beautiful, especially here in Sydney.
It took my about 10 minutes to arrive at this little little cafe and I instantly go in eager for food. "The usual?" Jimmy asks and I just smile at him nodding my head. He was a few years older than me and spent his weekends working at the cafe so we saw a lot of each other. I quickly make my way to my regular seat which was by the window. I always say on one of the bar stools that accompanied the bar like table that stretched across the window. It gave me a great view of the streets outside and I just watch as the people and cars go by every now and then.
"Here you go." Jimmy smiles placing a plate and cup in front of my and I hand him thirty dollars.
"Thanks Jimmy I'm starving!" I say in excitement grabbing my knife and fork. I roughly cut of a piece covered in syrup and shoved it in my mouth. It tasted like a sweet cloud of deliciousness. I closed my eyes whilst I thoroughly enjoyed my first bite of breakfast. I heard the someone walk in and out of general curiousity I went to look at who it was. It was then that his Nirvana shirt and black jeans with rips in the knees made it clear who it was. Well sort of clear. This boy has been coming in over the past two weeks and we always gave each other a bit of a stare. He was quite cute if I do admit so myself. His dark hair was swept across his forehead and it complemented his tan skin. He seemed much like me. Every time he came in he sat at the back corner on a little round table and he would order the same thing. It was a very odd coincidence.
I returned to eating my pancakes and staring out of the window as I pushed the thoughts of that boy out of my mind. I was too preoccupied with other things and I didn't need a boy to walk into my life. Not now not ever. I prefer random hook ups it keeps me satisfied and it's kinky.
"Name your top three favourite songs from The Rolling Stones." I hear a voice demand from next to me. There he was. Sitting right next to me with his usual chicken and avocado bagel. I furrow my eyebrows giving him a questioning look but I decide that I would answer anyway.
"Gimme Shelter, Neighbours and Beast of Burden." I say with a little bit of sass and he looks shocked. I knew my bands especially The Rolling Stones. He probably thought I was just another girl trying to look cool with a Rolling Stone T-shirt but boy he was wrong. "Now Nirvana I'd say Heart-Shaped Box, Smells like Teen Spirit ,that really is a good song and last but not least Dumb."
"You know you're music." He points out with a light smile. He could've been a boy version of me if he was a little more pale and had dark silver hair. I had blonde hair underneath but I felt silver was a better choice. "You know I have some backstage passes to a new local band. You can come check them out and see what you think?"
"If this is the part where you try to impress me so we can go a date I can tell you right now it's not going to work." I almost laugh but he takes absolute no offence to it which surprises me because most guys aren't that laid back. He simply chews off another bite of bagel and keeps the conversation going.
"Well for one, I promised I'd help the band get more followers and two we don't have to call a date." He says coolly. This guy was most likely the most laid back guy I had ever met besides Louis. I was officially intrigued. It was one concert it couldn't hurt, he seemed to know his music so this band should be good.
"Sure. But on one condition." I stated as I took a sip of my coffe and he raised his eyebrows in a questioning manner. I could tell I had officially intrigued him. "If this band sucks, you owe me favour."
"What kind of favour?" He asks quite skeptically and I could tell he was some what afraid but excited about this favour. In truth I had no idea what it would be but if I needed something he had to fufill his duties. I simply just shrug and he agrees. This was going to be interesting. "Well the band starts at 7 at 3 Weeds Rozelle so how bout I pick up just before at your house?"
"I'll just meet you there." I tell him not wanting to drag him through the story of how I stay at a different apartment almost every night because I have to much pride to go home. Yeah that would be a conversation ruiner.
"Sounds great. The name is Callum by the way." He smiles cheekily at me. I just laugh as I put my coffee down.
"Nice to meet you Callum. You can call me Que. " I didn't hate my name but my name was Queen. It wasn't a common name and considering I was named after my dad's favourite band I wouldn't expect it to be. Only a small number of people knew my name was Queen because there are certain people that I don't want to hear my name floating around. My brother, Louis, was named after our uncle Lou that passed away in a car crash in Manchester a few years before he was born. It was really sad because the whole family loves him so much especially my dad. They might have been brothers but they acted like best friends.
"What's that short for?" He asks curiously but I wasn't going to tell him.
"It's just Que." I told him putting on the best smile that would convince him I was telling the truth. People saw me as this sweet innocent girl if they didn't meet me at some of my gatherings that is.
I looked down at my plate and realised I was completely finished and so was Callum. I honestly had nothing better to do on a Saturday so I might as well just take this chance to have something to do. "How about we go for a walk?" I ask suddenly but he just nods his had and I wave to Jimmy as I leave the cafe.
"So what are some of your other interests?" He asks with his hands shoved in his pockets as we stroll down the pathway. I had to really think about this one. I had plenty of interest some of which a lot of people knew some of which no one knew.
"Photography." I say simply nodding my head as I took in the surroundings. "I like to capture moments as they are. Raw and irreplaceable." I tell him and he nods seeming to understand. I kicked a few small rocks as we walked further down the path and randomly picked leaves off of trees as we talk.
"So I'm guessing you have a proper camera? Not just your phone?" He laughs trying to lighten the mood. His clear attempt at trying to humour me failed but I chuckle as if he didn't. I give him points for trying though.
"I have two cameras actually both in my bag." I say as a-matter-of-factly raising my eyebrows at him. I swing my giant bag around to the front of me and pull out my vintage Polaroid camera that was from the 90s.
"Woah doesn't the film for those things cost like a ton?" He asks looking at the camera. He was completely right. It was almost a hundred dollars for a pack of ten. It was ridiculous but I had a part time job and other ways of getting money.
"Yeah, yeah it does." I say truthfully as I place it back carefully and secure my backpack on my back.
"If I may ask why do you have such a big bag?" He asks looking at me very suspiciously. The truth was it was filled with some cash, a change of clothes, a light and cigarettes, my cameras, pepper spray and few other odd things.
"You never know what you'll need." I laugh and he joins in. I noticed we were heading in the direction of a lake that was surrounded by trees. I remember going skinny dipping there once but I certainly wasn't going to bring that up. I was getting really fidgety and I knew just what I needed. I reach into the pocket of my bag and pull out one cigarette and my black lighter. I put the stick of poison between my two lips and light the fuse. I took a long deep breathe in and slowly blowed the smoke out. I could tell Callum was watching me and I couldn't tell if he wanted a puff or if he was surprised I smoke. "Did you want a drag?" I ask but he immediately shakes his head which makes me laugh a little.
"I don't smoke." He tells me eyeing the cigarette. He was clearly a responsible person but something made me feel like he wanted to break out of that.
"I asked did you want a drag, not wether or not you smoked." I smirked knowing that would throw him off a little. I wouldn't push him if he didn't want to but he seemed curious just like I once was.
"Uh - no thanks." He says uneasily as we reach the river. It was a beautiful sight and it was calm. There weren't any people around besides the cars passing by every now and then. I took another long dragged and flicked the ashes on the ground. Out of the blue the silence was interrupted by a loud buzzing noise. I looked over at Callum and he was awkwardly rushing to get his phone to his ear. The buzzing didn't stop until he pressed the glowing green button.
"Hey man what's up? .... Woah seriously? ..... Hold on hold on .... He can just sit on a stool." I didn't mean to be listening in on the conversation but I was curious. I mean who wouldn't be? The call ended after about five minutes what I made out from it is that someone broke their ankle and the had to sit down or something. "Ugh for fucks sake." He cusses under his breath holding his head in his hands.
"What happened?" I ask out of curiousity wanting to know the full story because that's just who I am.
"Well I just got informed the lead singer of the band sprained his ankle skate boarding." He rolls his eyes but can't help but be amused. I laughed a little because it seemed like a pretty stupid thing to do considering he knew he had a show tonight. "I'm sorry I have to go but I'll catch you later tonight yeah?" He says his eyes filled with hope. I take one long drag before I reply with a simple 'yeah'. He rushed off somewhere and I was left alone at the lake which I didn't mind it was quiet and peaceful. I took out my Polaroid camera and snapped a quick picture of the lake and shook the film. The picture looked quite nice so I placed it in the small car pairs box that contained a few photos. I take my time to go through the photos that was in there. Some were from parties but most were some of the first ones I took when I got the camera at my thirteenth birthday. One was of me and Louis away my birthday and there was another of my parents on their anniversary. It was fun looking through the photos until I saw the one I hoped wasn't in there. I closed the box and shoved it as far into my bag as it could go. Memories are memories. Some were good and some were very very bad.
I spent the day just venturing by myself until I ended up at Pete's house playing drums and having a beer. That was around five o'clock and it was now almost seven. I was thinking wether or not I should go see this band Calum had invited me too. I wasn't going too but I decided I had nothing better to do and Pete's snoring was driving me crazy. I carefully stepped over all the pizza boxes and beer bottles and made my way outside. I called a taxi and lucky for me I was at the pub within minutes. It seemed to be a busy night which didn't surprise me it was Saturday and this was a pub. I walked in and people were swarming everywhere I had to squish through the people just to get to the bar. "Aye Joey! Feeling like getting your little sister a beer?" I ask as I add a flirtatious wink at the end leaning against the bar. Joey was a good friend he has always worked in bars and pubs and he was pretty well known by everyone but he wouldn't break the rules for just anyone. We go way back. I was in 9th grade when he was just about to finish high school and somehow we were friends. God knows how but I'm lucky I am because he keeps me out of trouble. Mostly.
"What are you doing here?" He questions as he slides an opened beer over the counter. He smiled as he leaned against the bar.
"I got invited." I say with a bit of a laugh because I don't usually do things like this I was just bored. He looked at me with raised eyebrows eyeing me weirdly. "I was bored, he said there was some band on and I thought I'd come check it out but knowing me I'll leave soon."
"Yeah you're right." He laughs and goes back to serving people. I look around and I can't see him anywhere. Callum that is. I decide to move closer to the stage knowing the band would be on soon. I leant against the brick wall sipping on my beer every now and then. I snapped out of my thoughts when I saw four boys go onto the stage in the dark. The lights came up on them once they were ready and I noticed Callum standing by one of the mica and holding a guitar. Well well. Mr.Innocent is in a band. Who knew?
"Hey guys we are 5 seconds of summer and this is 'She's kinda hot'." I look at the one who spoke and I almost choked on my beer he was about 6ft and was the most gorgeous looking person I had ever seen. "My girlfriend's bitchin' cause I always sleep in. She's always screaming when she's calling her friends. She's kinda hot though." Now this was getting interesting. Their tune was very punk rock with a bit of a boy band twist. I wanted to look a bit closer so I walked a bit closer to the stage keeping my eyes completely fixed on the tall blonde boy.
"They say we're losers but we're all alright with that. We are the leaders of the not coming backs. But we're alright though. Yeah we're alright though. We are the kings and the queens of the new broken scene. Yeah we're alright though." As he sang the last line I seemed to catch his eye. He kept playing guitar and singing and biting his lip every now and then. I definitely had his attention and he definitely had mine. Before the end of the song he winked at me and I raised my beer at him letting him know that I saw it. The song ended and I had to admit it was a good song. I walked towards the bar and waited too see if he would come and find me.
"Did you enjoy the song?" I heard voice ask in my ear. I turned around and I saw the blonde boy. I was more expecting someone short and brunette.
"You're a good singer wannabe." I say as I take another sip of my beer. By now there was another band playing and he laughed as he shook his head at my comment.
"Just because you wish you could sing like me, names Luke." He teases which I found quite funny.
"I don't need to wish, I'm Que." I laugh and stand up off of the chair and Joey shoots the boy a bit of a glare but he doesn't seem to notice. Joey had always looked out for me and was ten times more cautious about people than I was.
"Come on you can meet the rest of the band." He chuckles and pulls me towards the side door of the stage. "They are all pretty chill guys." He explains as he opens the door and I see a boy chugging a bottle of water and another boy sitting laying on the couch right next to the fan.
"Hey you made it!" Callum smiles and sits back into a singular couch. The blonde boy seemed confused and so did Callum after he noticed I was with him. "Luke?"
"Callum invited me and I met Luke out there." I explained to both of them to clear it all up and the both looked at me with understandment. Luke sat down on a couch and I plopped myself down next to him and stretched my legs across his as I leaned of the arm of the couch which somehow makes him smile. "Isn't there four of you?"
"Yeah the drummer is in the bathroom." The one near the fan responds.
"Actually Michael the drummer is right here." I hear a voice say as a figure appeared from a hallway. He was tall not as tall as the blonde one but still managed to tower over me. His muscular arms were exposed by his Led Zepplin tank and he had a black bandana around his head. His legs were defined by his skinny jeans that clung on him like a tattoo. He was even more gorgeous than the blonde one but I don't think I noticed before because he was hiding behind the drum set. All four of the boys were fairly attractive which did make them look like a boy band. "And you are?" He asks as he folds his arms and leans against the wall closet to him. His biceps flexed and his lips curled into a small smirk.
"The name's Que." I say smoothly. The way he looked me up and down told me he thought I was just attractive as I thought he was. I noticed all the boys looked at me like that. I walked over to the couch and plopped myself next to Michael with my feet on his lap. "So what's the plan for tonight boys?" I asked cheekily.