Words we should never have left unsaid

I have all these unsaid words left unsaid. Because I dont think anyone wants to hear it. They say they are always there for you, but deep inside they dont want you to tell them how badly you feel. Because they dont want there illousion destroyed.


2. Kapitel 2

You don´t know the real me. You never did. You know pieces but that is for the best. If you knew the real me, you would be terrified. You would call me crazy or insane. Or maybe you would pity me. I don’t want your pity, so I keep my peace and play my act. You see me as happy or even smiling, but that is only because I have forgotten why I´m acting. I can forget. Because when everybody thinks you´re fine, sometimes you forget for a while that you´re not.
 Most of the day I can forget, but at the night my dark thoughts come back. At night, my tears and pain comes back like an oncoming train. They tear my thoughts, my happiness apart like monsters. They leave me with no light, no will to live. But I every time I think about telling you, I gets so excited, fells a glint of hope. Then I remember all the other times I tried to tell you. When you just look like it´s a joke or ask the wrong questions. "People like that are stupid, don´t you think? They should just stop being so self-centered, right? I´m happy that you not like that.” When the class talks about stuff like suicide or depression and they make fun of it, I laugh with them. I laugh with you, but inside I´m crying. Cause you just showed me that I can never tell you. You just laugh. But it´s okay, right? Cause you don’t know. And you will never know...

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