Words we should never have left unsaid

I have all these unsaid words left unsaid. Because I dont think anyone wants to hear it. They say they are always there for you, but deep inside they dont want you to tell them how badly you feel. Because they dont want there illousion destroyed.


1. Kapitel 1

Hey friend, I want to tell you something... I want to tell you how suicidal I am. How, at night, I think about my funeral and ask myself: “Would you cry?"
Why I can never tell you about my plans for the future, because I can´t see mine. I want to tell you that I think about the letter I will leave for you. About the worlds I would write. How my family would look through my stuff and cry when they finds my diary. How people would ask you if you ever noticed anything. How you would blame yourself for never see it. How you wouldn’t be able to look at my cold corpse when they carry me to the grave. I want to tell you.
But off course I can´t. I couldn´t. How could I? You would never understand. Or perhaps you would try to stop me. But you can´t. I decided long time ago. I don´t know when, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not next week, but one thing is certain. One thing I know. I will end my life under my own terms.

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