Still Heart


1. Taste My Words

             I knew that something was going on. I could hear him talking in low in the bathroom as he thought I was asleep. When I woke up in the mornings, he would be gone. He usually left a note saying that he got called in early or he wanted to miss traffic. When he would come home, sometimes he smelled like perfume. Sometimes, he would give me a small smile and go straight to the bedroom. 

But, there was one thing that made me for sure know what was going on. And that was when he kissed me. Before, it would be a slow, gentle kiss. And as we would part, he would look into my eyes while brushing hair out of my face and whisper that he loved me. But now, he was so aggressive. He would bite my lip and I could taste the metallic taste of blood oozing from my fragile skin. He would grunt and push me against a wall and hiss into my mouth that he loves me. His eyes use to be so soft. So innocent, And now, they have turned into black holes into a universe I have never entered before nor am I interested to. 

I knew what was going on. I was not stupid. But, I was dumb enough to try and ignore it and tell myself it was not real. I was overreacting when I knew damn well I wasn't. So, I made a plan. And today, I will purse that plan. 

Last night, I listened to his conversation as well as I could without leaving my bed. I could hear his low rumble of a voice and his deep huff of a laugh. He was saying something about lunch and an office. He talked about a pair of lace underwear and a black bra. 

As I listened, my throat began to feel as if Satan had let all hell break loose inside of me. I could feel the tears trying and fighting to push past my eyes. I believed if I let some of them go, just a couple, that it would relieve some of my pain. But, the moment I let one escape, they all did. I sobbed into my pillow and tried to be as quiet as I could. That was until I started choking because I could not get any oxygen. His voice stopped and all I could hear was the skin on the bottom of his feet slowly come off of the tile floor. 

I tried so hard to stop. I slapped my hand over my mouth and shut my eyes and tried to breathe but I couldn't make it stop. The tears just kept coming. 

"Are you okay?" I jumped as I heard his voice. I nodded my head and wiped my face clean, smiling. 

"Yeah, everything is fine. It's fine. I just had a nightmare." I said with a satisfying smile and a pathetic laugh. "Why aren't you in bed? Are you okay?" I ask as clueless as possible. 

"I just couldn't sleep. I just woke up not too long ago, actually. You were tossing and turning so I came in here. I was going to take a hot shower." 


"Oh, okay, Well, will I see you in the morning?" I ask. He shrugs. 

"I think I am going to go in early. Traffic has been picking up lately. You know, with summer coming to an end and everyone is leaving?" I nod. 

"Well, do you think we could have dinner tonight? I will cook and it can all be ready by the time you get home." 

"I will probably be tired. I don't want to be grumpy. Maybe another night?" He asks. I look down and blink a couple of times and nod, laying my head on the pillow with my back turned to him. I hear the door shut and the water turn on. 

After an hour, he was out of the bathroom, dressed and ready for work. As soon as I hear the front door shut, I fling the blankets off of me and slide on some shoes. I was in a t-shirt and some shorts already. I ran out to my car once his left the driveway and turned on my phone. 

Last night, I sent his location to me while he was really in the shower. Now, I can track him. 

After turning down a bunch of back roads and driving down the interstate, I followed him back to his job site. I parked in another parking lot but it was dark enough to the point where he could not see me. 

Why is he at work? I think to myself. I know what is going on. This is not right. 

I take a couple of deep breaths and put my car in reverse. I look up one last time just to see a black convertible pull up to his car. 

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