1. Chapter 1: Phil
I woke up in a cold sweat. I groan quietly, careful to not wake up Dan. For the past week I've had reaccuring nightmares about losing Dan. MY Dan. I could feel betraying tears fall down my face again. I wince remembering the fresh cuts I gave myself before going to bed. I loved Dan, but I knew he could never love me back. Why? Because in all of our videos asking about "Phan" he always says he's not gay. And that we are always going to stay just best friends. At the end of those videos I would usually tell Dan I was tired and go to my room. I would take out my razor from its hiding place and add few more fresh cuts, I knew I would have to stop or Dan would start notice. I was running out of foundation to cover them for our videos. Dan dosen't go on vacation for a while and we ALWAYS go to the shopping spcenter together. I shake my head. I walk as quietly to the bathroom to go rebandage my arms. Before I go I check Dans room. I smile to myself, he was sleeping peacefully his laptop still on his bed open and running. I quietly walk in, almost tripping on his black jeans from yesterday I chuckle quietly to myself. I grab his laptop, plug it in and shut the screen. I set it in his desk quietly and start to walk out. "Phil?" I hear Dan whimper in his sleep. I shake my head once again. No I must have heard him wrong. I walk to the bathroom and re-bandage my cuts and throw the bandages away in my personal garbage in my room. I don't need questions from Dan about bloody bandages in the bathroom. I couldn't sleep considering the "nap" I took today, I've already done two videos in that, but I decided I didn't want to do another one just yet considering my arms are still in pain from the fresh cuts. I sit on my bed it creaked loudly. I sighed. I wish he knew. I really wish he did. I would tell him but... I didn't want to loose are wonderful friendship. I slip under our covers. I pull up Pandora on my phone but turn it down enough that I can hear it still but it won't disturb Dan in his peaceful sleep. I press shuffle and Unsteady by ambassadors begins to play, I begin to drift into a deep sleep. Wincing slightly because of the cuts yet again. I feel tears begin to fall down my face as I fall fast asleep.