Beep, beep, beep! My alarm clock screams like it always does. And then the inevitable knocking of Percy at the door.
I get up to open the door, weird Percy usually stays at the Hunters for a while after literally anything happens, there’s another knock at the door just before I open it.
“Hey sis’” Matthew smiles, “can I come in?” he asks.
I growl, “Sorry I have training right now.”
“With Jordan?” he asks.
“He’s not here,” Matthew says.
I sigh, “What do you want Matthew?”
“First off don’t call me that, it makes me sound so old,” he says.
“What would you prefer?”
“Matt, just call me Matt.”
“Is that it?”
“Then what do you want?”
“I have my meeting with my dumb ass parole officer today, come with me?” he asks.
“I have school,” I say.
“Ditch,” he tells me.
“I have to go,” I say.
“Because I have to Matthew!”
“Please, if you’re worried you’ll get in trouble with Perc I’ll take the heat for ya,” he begs.
“I’m not worried I’ll get in trouble,” I lie, “I’m a loyal Knight, I listen to what my leaders tell me.”
“So was I at one point,” Matthew says hurt, “Sara, I think we really need to talk and this is the only time we can, please Sara?”
Matthew sighs, “I really didn’t want to do this but, what do you think Percy is gon’ a think ‘bout your fight last night with your little fiancé?” he asks.
“Zac won’t tell, he’ll understand eventually,” right?
“Your right, he loves ya, but I’m desperate,” Matthew says.
I glare at him sizing him up, could he really do it? “Fine, I’ll be ready in a minute,” I say then slam my door shut.
“Thank you,” Matthew yells from the other side of the door.
“Mr. Knight I don’t know what to tell you, you’ve done a lot of work in prison to better yourself but, you committed a violent crime, a felony, it is going to be very hard for anyone to trust you after that, you’re going to have to prove that you can be a responsible, helpful member of society. You haven’t proven anything yet, so I’m not going to make an appeal in concerns to the ankle monitor, come back same time next week and we’ll see what you’ve done and maybe just maybe we can talk about it,” Matthews parole officer lectures.
“Yeah, sure thing, but like, what do I need to do, you know, like I’ll do whatever it takes ma ’me I just really wanna get this thing off, I’m not asking for you do nothin’ for me jus’ tell me what I need to do and I’ll do it,” Matthew begs.
The parole officer sighs, “Just try to be responsible, don’t drink,”
“Come on, I just got popped, I wanted to celebrate,” Matthew argues.
The parole officer stares warningly at Matthew, “Don’t drink, get a counselor, get a job, learn and know your terms of parole like the back of your hand because if you break one of them, I can’t help you, you will go back to jail so fallow them like the bible,” she says.
“How am I supposed to get a job and stuff if I can’t even leave my house?”
“Apply online, keep me updated, once I see you’re serious about getting a job I’ll get your ankle monitor restrictions lessoned, and help you as much as I can here, but you need to do something first,” she says.
“Okay,” Matthew sighs.
“It was nice to meet with you Matthew, I hope you can get your act together and stay out,” she says shaking his hand.
“Thank you mame, I’m gon’a try real hard to do better,” Matthew assures.
No wonder officer Ford helped Matthew get out, he was very good at appearing like a good kid. But he was just an in obedient traitor.
Matthew leads me back out to the car and hits the wheel when he gets in.
“Sorry I’m just,” he hits the steering wheel again, “frustrated,” he says, “I’m finally free but I’m not, you know, I’ve got this stupid thing on my leg and what’s worse I’m back with the Knighthood,” he looks at me and sees me glaring at him. Matthew leans in, “Don’t become a Knight?” he begs.
Matthew growls and sits back in his seat, “don’t I can’t take this right now,” he says.
“Can’t take what?” I ask.
“Your pity, I’m not a Knight but it still bugs me,” he says.
“Sorry,” I whisper. I know what he means pity is the worst feeling, if someone pities you that means they think that you are weak, and a Knight can never be weak.
“It’s fine Sara, let’s just go,” he says driving away.
“Matthew get back here!” my dad’s voice boomed so loud he woke me up and I immediately started trying to crawl out of my crib but when I realized I was stuck I started to cry.
My big brother Matthew came into my room with a red and sweaty face and smiled sweetly at me, “well good morning sleepy head, did we wake you?” he asks and I giggle as he picks me up out of my crib, “sorry ‘bout that. Our family’s drama is a bit more, exciting, than others. One day you’ll understand,” Matthew laughs a little to himself, “well I guess you won’t ever really understand, you’re a girl so you don’t have to fight, I’m happy you don’t have to fight, you don’t have to kill, I’m kind of jealous of you, so carefree and happy, you don’t even know how fucked up the world truly is, you’ll learn soon enough, they’ll ruin your innocents,” Matthew looks at me his smile now completely gone which makes me want to start crying again, “Sorry if I’m worrying you,” he smiles again then sighs and goes to sit down in the rocking chair in the corner of my room, “You don’t have to worry Sara, don’t worry, I’ll protect you, I’ll protect you from all the monsters, and from the Knighthood, from our parents, and from myself,” Matthew pauses for a while and just as I’m about to fall asleep again he starts talking again, “I don’t deserve to protect you, how can I ever think that I could protect you, how could I ever protect anyone, I’m a failure as a Knight, I don’t want to fight, I’m scared Sara I’m so scared not of the monsters I know how to fight them, I’m scared of myself,” a tear falls from his face to fall on my head. My big brother leans in and kisses the top of my head, “I’m a killer,” he whispers.
The door bursts open and our parents come rushing in, my mommy takes me from my brother and throws me back in my crib and my daddy grabs Matthews arm and starts dragging him out of the room, my mom goes to fallow them out and looks back at me angrily just before slamming the door shut to drown out my wails.
“How’d you learn to drive?” I ask once we’re on the road.
“You went to jail when you were, 14, so how did you learn how to drive?” I ask again.
“Percy taught me when I was like 12 plus I’ve spent to past 7 years of my life learning about cars, I actually, I got my engineering degree well I was locked up,” he tells me.
“Cool,” I nod.
“Do you not know how to drive?” he asks.
I shake my head, “Uncle Percy doesn’t want me bothering with it right now,” I say.
“That’s ridiculous you’re about to turn 16 you should get your license,” he says.
“I have bigger things to worry myself with,” I say.
“Bull shit,” Matthew says then pulls into an empty parking lot, “I’m going to teach you how to drive,” he says getting out of the car.
“I really shouldn’t,” I say.
“Perc ain’t gon’a be ‘round to haul your ass around foreva’,” Matthew says, “Please Sara, I wan’a feel like I’m helpin’ you, or doin’ somethin’ good, please,” he begs.
I nod and scoot over to the driver’s seat. Matthew jumps into the seat where I just was.
“Okay what do I do?” I ask.
“Okay so first off, this is your clutch, this is your break and this is the gas and here is your steering wheel, those are very important don’t forget about them, okay?” he explains.
We drove around for hours before Matt took back control and started driving us home. I’m no good at driving, I almost killed us.
“Sara,” Matthew mutters as soon as he starts driving us back home.
“Why are you marrying Zac?” he asks.
“I love him,” I say not sounding at all believable.
“You don’t love him, it was set up probably by Perc knowin’ him, set it up so he could get more power. If that’s what it is then you shouldn’t do it, the Knighthood don’t deserve this they don’t deserve shit if this is how they’re gon’a go ‘bout gettin’ it,” he says, “And if you do love him then you can’t be a Knight because Knights do not love, ever,” he says.
“Well I’m not a Knight yet.”
“And don’t become one.”
“You can’t say that to me?”
“Why not? I’m not allowed to have an opinion either?” Matthew asks.
“I don’t care about your opinion you’re not a Knight,” I say.
“But I used to be,” he says.
“A terrible one,” I say.
“Why because I got caught?”
“No because you weren’t loyal,” I say.
“Loyalty,” Matthew scoffs, “loyalty will only get you to your graver younger and dumber.”
“Loyalty isn’t about what you get, it’s about what you give.”
“Give me, a break, what is it that you are so desperate for? Power? Daddy’s approval? Maybe you just need to prove yourself? Or maybe you’re just crazy, a lot of us are. Whatever it is, it’s not loyalty, no one is truly loyal, we’re all just driven by selfish desire.”
“I am a loyal Knight,” I say.
“Not yet?” he says.
I glare at him.
“But if this is what you truly want you’ll be a killer soon enough,” he says.
“It’s not like that we have to protect the world,” I explain.
“From what? Creatures like Josh? Just look at him, he’s harmless and he has done nothing but think of your safety since you were a kid, and you’re telling me you’re prepared to kill him and all the innocent immortals like him?” Matthew rants.
“There are no innocent immortals,” I say.
“You can’t honestly believe that can you?”
“Then there is nothing more I can say, you’ll be a Knight.”
I’m underwater and I can’t breathe, I keep trying to swim up to get air but no matter how long I push up I stay under the water, my lungs clenching shut as they fill with water, my chest feels like it’s going to burst. Then suddenly I’m sitting in a cold metal chair, and that same face I’ve seen in my nightmares for a while now appears before me once again. He grabs my chins roughly and forces me to look him in the eyes, I spit in his face and he just laughs, “I found you,” he laughs