*WARNING* This chapter may be triggering to some!
I had been in the Joker's house for about a month or two now and started to get the bad feelings again. There was a reason that I was in Arkham, I was sick. Let me correct that. I am sick.
Instead of Karry, there was multiple voices in my head today all telling me to end it all.
"You know you want to, no one would care anyway." one of them laughed.
"They're right. Your life is meaningless since you're gonna be locked up for the rest of it."
After while they were really starting to get to me.
"Maybe they're right." I thought to myself.
"Of course we are. We are you after all and we are just looking out for your best interest." They replied.
With that, I nodded. I was now allowed to roam around the house but only to go in certain rooms. I entered the kitchen searching for anything to harm myself, whether it was a knife or a lighter. I found knife and tucked it away into my pocket.
I then went into the infirmary where I found some drugs that could do a lot of harm. I put them in my pocket too and headed back into my room.
I was completely and utterly miserable.
"At least I have my options on how I'm going to do it..." I laughed weakly as the tears began to stream down my face, smudging the poorly done makeup across my face.
I cut and slashed at my arm until red covered all of my (skin colour) skin. I heard the door begin to open. I know I wasn't far enough in to actually end it and if someone walked in now it would ruin it.
Lunging for the door to try and close it I failed and saw a maid come in and her face dropped. She ran out of the room crying for the Joker to come quickly and I knew he would be mad. I didn't know what to do so I just sat in the corner of the room and cried whilst gripping my bloody arm.
When the Joker entered the room he looked out of breath like he had ran and I looked up at him and saw concern spread all over his face.
"I'm so so sorry" I began to cry to him and he just came over to me mumbling the words "I know" a few times.
Taking me to the infirmary he stitched up the cuts and sighed "Hand over everything you took." I hesitated but reached into my pocket and pulled out everything.
"okay (y/n), I'm going to be honest with you. I thought I had lost you." He said with tears brimming in his eyes. He cares...
Without even thinking about it I lunged myself at him. Pressing my lips against his. But the thing that surprised me was he kissed back. I cupped his face and stopped kissing him but kept our foreheads pressed together and admitted "I love you, J"
Without thinking he replied "I love you, (N/N)"
It's been a few weeks since we exchanged the 'I love yous' and nothing has really happened since then because I personally think (and I may be wrong) that he hasn't felt something real in so long that when he finally does he is finding it hard to accept it so I have given him his space and let him have time to think about his true feelings. The cuts were healing well and I felt as though the voices were going back to whispers and I rarely heard from Karry anymore which if I'm being honest I am a little bit sad about since she was not making me do insane things or making me hurt people, she was kind to me and made me realise what I really felt.
I know it sounds silly for me to be saying that one of my closest friends is my own thoughts and feelings but it was kind of true but of course I wasn't going to admit that to anyone.
Since my and Jokers incident he has had books and a television put into my room so I guess it felt more homely which I sort of appreciated but at the same time it just made me feel more trapped and isolated from the world.
Knocking on my door, I turned and walked to the door and opened it and peered round it to see the joker standing there. He barged in the room, gripping my arms tightly and pinning me to the bed and he confessed "I don't know what you are doing to me, (y/n)! But it's tearing me apart and I need to be well put together to be the criminal mastermind that I am. So, I have two options. 1) Kill you before I get overly attached or 2) make you mine."
I gazed into his blue eyes not sure whether I should be trembling with fear or crying with happiness that he felt the same way.
He kissed my lips and I kissed back and hooked my arms around his neck and my legs around his back. With that he put us more on the bed. Whilst in our little make out session, I noticed the door was open and knowing how insecure I was I said "Wait." got up, shut the door, locked it and returned saying "okay" telling him that it was okay to resume knowing that no one was going to walk in if we did go that far.
Trailing down my neck, his kisses went directly to my spot and I tried not to but let a moan escape my lips as his sucked on my spot on my neck. Whilst doing that he rubbed my body up and down feeling every curve on my body.
He then continued to kiss my lips with lust and passion. I then forgot about the once forceful and scary Joker and saw a man who truly cared about me. Instinctively I began unbuttoning his purple shirt (which was already pretty much unbuttoned anyway)and he took it off revealing his pale, muscular, tattooed upper half. He then began to do the same with me unbuttoning my shirt revealing my black lace bra. He looked me up and down and just smiled. Once again his kisses trailed down to my neck and then down to my chest. He began playing with the back of my bra, eventually unhooking it. My exposed chest felt so cold until he placed his hands on my breasts playfully.
I reached down and began unbuckling his belt and whilst I was doing so I felt his hard member through his pants and I looked up at him smiling to him about how pleased I was with that.
I didn't want to be thinking like that since I was a virgin but who cares?
I pulled down his pants leaving him in his boxers and he pulled off my tights and skirt which left us both in our lower half underwear. His hands wandered down to my hips as he played with the hem of my panties.
Pulling them down I felt so exposed yet so comfortable with it at the same time and he didn't do anything, he just looked at my womanhood.
Out of nowhere he thrusted two of his fingers in me to I guess loosen me up a little bit for him as I felt waves of pain rush over me but they soon were replaced with pleasure and lust.
"I-I want you..." I told him timidly and in a few quick motions he pulled down his boxers and thrust into me causing me to scream with pleasure.
He was slow and gentle at first but I could tell that he wanted to move faster so I told him to and he picked up his pace causing my breath to hitch as I moaned loudly.
I began to feel a weird sensation in the bottom of my stomach as I could sense that I was about to reach my climax and like that we both orgasmed simultaneously. He flopped down on top of me and pulled the covers over us and with that we both fell asleep. I lay on his chest for a while though thinking if I was really ready to be in a relationship with him. I slowly began to doze off and for once, I felt safe in his arms.
You were in a park that you would visit often as a child and at the end of the path you saw a girl and from what you could hear she was crying. Because you were a good person you walked over to her and put your hand on a brown winter coat when she stopped crying and turned around.
"Hiya (y/n)!" She gleamed at you with a huge grin on her face. She noticed your confused expression and smiled and said "It's me Karry, remember? You killed me."
She was then covered in blood from her head to her toes and you screamed at the sight.
The words "you killed me" replayed in your mind over and over again before you stared thinking to yourself that it was just a dream.
You shot up from your sleep drenched in sweat and you sw Joker was still next to you, sleeping like a baby.
"He's kinda cute sleeping." you thought to yourself
You lay back down on his chest and slowly but surely fell back asleep.
I wanna know what you guys are thinking of the story so comments would be nice. Also how are you liking the longer chapters? It's taking me longer (obviously) but I like writing so it's not like it's a chore or anything haha.
Lastly, would you like me to do a superhero x reader? If so which superhero! <3