Smoke & Mirrors

Smoke and Mirrors: a metaphor for a deceptive, fraudulent or insubstantial explanation or description.
Every time anyone joked about Louis and Harry’s close bond, calling them ‘boyfriends’ or whatnot, it caused a fluttering feeling in the pit of Harry’s stomach. He wasn’t sure what it meant. He hadn’t really thought of Louis too much in a romantic sense. They were mates – really good mates. But there was something about it. Harry loved Louis almost more than he loved any other human being on the planet. He loved him so much. They were the best of friends. Harry supposed the feeling derived from that. He wasn’t sure. He just knew he probably wouldn’t make it in life without Louis in it.

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6. 06

Harry woke to the sound of rain drops thudding on the roof of the bus. It was raining for three mind-numbing days straight, and he wasn’t sure how much more he could take of it.

“Haz…” Harry heard, startling him out of his thoughts, realizing immediately that Louis was sitting on the edge of the lounge couch with him, and his hand on Harry’s thigh was the reason he woke in the first place.

“Lou, what are you—” Harry said quietly, sitting up slightly, almost immediately noticing the look in Louis’ eye. The light was dim in the lounge, but Harry still saw how Louis’ eyes glazed over, his pupils dilated to a crazy degree.

“You’re soaked,” Harry whispered his observation, noticing Louis’ usual fringe was now slicked back because of the rain.

Harry watched as Louis licked his lips, and he felt the stirring in his belly as the heat began to rise inside of him. Louis was in a mood. And it was a mood Harry very much liked.

Louis’ hand sunk deeper down the inside of Harry’s thigh, causing Harry’s cock to twitch almost immediately as Louis’ knuckles grazed against it. Harry couldn’t help the hitching of his breathing or the slight writhing of his body from Louis’ touch. He almost didn’t know how to handle himself. Usually when they spent any time doing anything sexual it was after both of them spent the night drinking. It was like the alcohol made Louis brave. But right now, sober-Louis was looking at Harry like he wanted to devour him.

“On the tour bus?” Harry croaked out when Louis leaned in to kiss Harry’s lips.

Louis wrenched back before their lips made contact, looking questioningly into Harry’s eyes.

“Everyone’s in the venue,” Louis said matter-of-factly.

“Someone could easily come on,” Harry whispered, wondering why in the hell he was even questioning any of it. His dick was already rock hard in his tight-fitting black jeans. He wanted it just as badly as Louis.

“In a down pour? Not bloody likely,” Louis scoffed under his breath.

“You did,” Harry pointed out.

“For you,” Louis countered, making Harry’s stomach turn with excitement. For him. Louis was there for him.

“Oh,” Harry said quietly, his eyes wide as his gaze wandered about Louis’ face.

“I’ve locked the door. No one’s getting in, Styles,” Louis said, his voice husky, letting the ‘s’ on the end of Harry’s last name slither off his tongue in the sexiest way possible.

Louis had him at ‘locked door’. Harry leaned forward, crashing his lips painfully against Louis’.

Fuck,” Louis groaned against the younger boy’s mouth, but still didn’t let the hardness of the kiss deter him. He kissed Harry back with a fierceness and hunger that only drew Harry in further.

Excitement curled up Harry’s spine as he felt Louis’ fingers fumble at his belt buckle. He broke the kiss only to pull back, giving the older boy some room to undress him. Harry’s chest heaved trying to catch his breath as Louis worked fast and efficiently at undoing his trousers.

“Feet down, Haz,” Louis said, standing on his own feet, tapping at the side of Harry’s knee.

Harry did what was asked of him, sliding his feet down, planting them firmly onto the floor of the bus as he sat back against the couch. His breathing hitched again when Louis dropped to his knees in front of him. Harry’s heart was thudding so loudly in his chest, he was sure Louis would be able to hear it above the sound of the manic rain falling outside. But even if Louis did, he showed no reaction to it. He just slid his palms smoothly up the expanse of Harry’s tight sinewy thigh muscles, biting at his lip, and driving Harry wild in the process.

“Take your jumper off. You’re all wet,” Harry suggested, tugging at the offensive fabric. Louis smiled up at him and obliged almost immediately.

Harry watched every single muscle in Louis’ upper body move and ripple as the garment was taken off and discarded onto the floor. He was practically salivating for Louis, wanting him so badly to touch him again, to kiss him, to do anything to him.

Christ,” Harry said under his breath, trying to rein himself in, but it was of no use, because Louis’ hands slid effortlessly underneath Harry’s thin shirt, the fabric bunching up as his hands disappeared further underneath it.

Harry wasted no time ridding himself of the shirt, and Louis continued to touch his chest and stomach, making him literally purr for the older boy. It was all so intimate, so perfect. And it meant so much more to Harry because they were both in their right minds, thinking with clear heads. There was no alcohol to blur the lines. It was just them.

“Lift your bum,” Louis whispered as his fingers gripped the sides of Harry’s trousers. Harry did as asked, biting his bottom lip until it hurt, watching Louis tug them down until they were resting at his ankles.

Louis’ palms slid across Harry’s now bare thighs, causing goose bumps to erupt on his skin. His touch felt so good, so welcomed. When Louis got brave and his right palm slid daringly across Harry’s underwear-clad hardness, Harry let out a low moan, tipping his head back against the couch as he closed his eyes.

“I’ve barely touched it, Styles,” Louis hissed playfully, causing Harry to laugh lightly, his head still back, his eyes still closed. As Louis pulled his hands back, Harry silently cursed at the loss of contact, his eyes flying open to send Louis a slight glare.

“Do you want me to touch you?” Louis asked quietly.

“Yes,” Harry said without hesitation, sending the older boy a look of challenge.

“Do you want me to stroke it, Hazza?” Louis asked, his voice barely audible.

“I do,” Harry answered, his voice shaking just a little.

“Do you want my mouth around it?” Louis asked, his eyes never leaving Harry’s.

“Oh, God,” Harry groaned, closing his eyes as his head spun from Louis’ words.

“Do you?” Louis prodded, causing Harry’s eyes to open to his again.

“Very much,” Harry admitted in a breathy whisper.

He needed Louis to touch him again. He needed his hands on him. He didn’t know just how badly he needed it until Louis was withholding it.

“Take off your knickers,” Louis said, his voice slightly demanding. Harry’s cock twitched helplessly as his body engulfed into flames.

Harry’s fingers fumbled against the elastic band on his boxer briefs, but he managed to get them pushed down over the swell of his ass, letting his cock spring free in front of Louis.

“Keep going,” Louis told him, eyeing him up and down. Harry leaned forward, pushing the garment down his legs until they were around his ankles like his trousers.

Before Harry could fully sit back, Louis grabbed him by the back of his neck, and pressed another heated kiss against his lips. Harry moaned into Louis mouth as their tongues tangled together rhythmically, his hands groping at Louis’ bare chest. Louis sat up on his knees, guiding Harry back against the couch, his hips pushing Harry’s legs apart, his body nearly towering over the younger boy. Harry’s back sank into the couch cushion allowing Louis’ dominant side to over-power him. He loved it. He reveled in it.

Louis’ hands slid down Harry’s chest as his kisses descended down the line of his jaw, then down the nape of his neck. Harry sucked in the scent of the older boy, causing him to go dizzy. He was nearly panting with desire, almost sure he might come just from Louis’ kisses and touches.

“Oh, fuck. Please, Louis,” Harry whimpered, needing so badly for Louis to touch his cock. It was so hard it hurt, and he needed Louis to make it feel better.

“What do you need?” Louis breathed against Harry’s earlobe.

“Oh, God,” Harry groaned.

“Louis. My name is Louis, not God,” Louis said in a husky voice, sending chills up Harry’s spine.

“Fuck. Louis,” Harry hissed, feeling like his mind and body were going to spontaneously combust.

“What. Do. You. Need?” Louis asked again, enunciating every word.

“Touch me,” Harry moaned breathily, needing those two words to be enough of an answer for Louis.

And they were.

“Like this?” Louis asked as he grabbed ahold of Harry’s sensitive shaft, working it from base to tip and back, pumping it slowly in the palm of his hand.

“Yes. Yes, please,” Harry gasped, his head falling back against the couch again, his eyes closing so he could feel every bit of pleasure Louis was giving him.

Louis’ hand left Harry for a second to spit in his palm before it was back on him, pumping softly. Harry was wrecked. He knew it. He just didn’t care. He wanted Louis so fucking badly, and there he was, feeding him with pleasure.

When Harry lifted his head again, their eyes connected for a few weighted moments, causing Harry’s nerves to dance with anticipation. Louis’ eyes looked glassy, a sideways smile quirking at the side of his mouth. It made it seem like he was getting as much pleasure out of it as Harry was.

“Just do it,” Harry mewled softly, wanting Louis’ mouth on him more than anything.

A full smile danced across Louis’ features; his lips tugging up; his eyelids crinkling together. Harry couldn’t help but think of how beautiful Louis looked when he smiled. He was the most beautiful thing Harry laid eyes on.

As Louis leaned forward, Harry watched as his tongue came out to lick his lips, readying himself. Harry’s insides scrambled and he instinctively held his breath, realizing he was about to get what he wanted. And when Louis’ tongue jut out to wet the tip of Harry’s penis, Harry’s mind spun.

“Oh Christ, Lou,” Harry moaned outwardly.

“I haven’t even gotten to the good stuff yet. You’re so sensitive,” Louis chuckled, holding Harry’s cock so close to his mouth he could feel his breath skate across it.

“You have no idea,” Harry sighed, doing all he could to relax against the couch.

Moments later, Louis seemed to drop all inhibitions and just went for it. His slick lips fully encompassed the head of Harry’s penis, sending a heat wave of pleasure through the younger boy, and he was lost. Louis’ mouth was hot and wet and everything Harry hoped it would feel like wrapped around his penis. As Louis’ lips slid down Harry’s shaft, the pleasure was palpable. The rhythm Louis kept with both his mouth and his hand sent tingles cascading through Harry’s insides, creating a warm fluttering sensation to rise and swell in the pit of his stomach.

Harry got head before, sure. But never from someone he truly cared about. He was nearly certain he never cared for anyone the way he cared for Louis, not even when they were just mates. It seemed so much better with Louis’ mouth wrapped around his cock.

Louis sucked and licked and teased until Harry was seeing stars. He knew he wasn’t going to last much longer, even though he wanted to.

“Lou, soon,” Harry moaned as his fingers tangled into the soft damp hair on Louis’ head.

Louis moaned against Harry’s shaft and it only sparked the beginning of the end for Harry.

“Do it again. Moan,” Harry said breathlessly, and Louis obliged, letting out a long, drawn out moan against Harry’s cock.

“Fuck, Lou. So bloody good,” Harry groaned, throwing his head back.

Louis chuckled lightly before sliding his mouth further down the length of Harry’s shaft, taking it in deeper and deeper until Harry felt the tip of his penis momentarily touch the back of Louis’ throat. Harry let out a loud groan as Louis quickly pulled it back out.

“Harry, Jesus Christ. You’ve got to be quiet,” Louis hissed under his breath.

“Just, keep going,” Harry panted, looking forward at Louis through hooded eyelids.

Louis’ hand began to pump again as his mouth closed down all around him and Harry felt the pulling deep within him. He knew he was close. It wouldn’t take much more.

“Keep going,” Harry breathed, and Louis obliged.

“Oh, fuck. Just like that, Lou,” Harry groaned roughly, and he nearly jumped when he felt Louis pinch the inside of his thigh.

“Ow! Good fuck, Louis,” Harry yelped, smacking Louis’ hand away.

“You’re too loud,” Louis hissed again, pumping Harry with his hand.

“How am I supposed to come if you’re pinching at me?” Harry scoffed out a laugh as Louis sent him a devious glare.

“Prat,” Harry mumbled as Louis’ mouth once again enveloped around him.

Harry clamped a hand over his mouth when another moan rolled out of his throat, not wanting Louis to stop for anything.

Fuck,” Harry groaned, muffling against his hand as the pleasure absolutely engulfed him.

“Fu-fuck yeah-h, Louis,” Harry whimpered, turning his hand over to bite at his knuckle as his orgasm began deep within him.

Louis’ mouth moved faster for him. Harry’s body writhed below him, his mind spinning out of control.

“I’m—I’m coming, Lou. It’s coming,” Harry choked out as he felt his body become rigid and tensed.

Louis didn’t let up though. He just took it all in without a word, his mouth never letting up until Harry dissolved into a puddle on the couch, completely boneless.

When Harry’s eyes opened again, once his mind was restored to him, he looked forward to find Louis looking straight at him, a pleased smirk on his face.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Harry laughed blithely, his eyes merely slits due to extreme lack of energy.

“Like what?” Louis asked immediately, smiling mischievously at Harry.

“Like you’ve just shagged me with your mouth,” Harry said with a half smirk.

“I did just shag you with my mouth,” Louis said matter-of-factly, and it caused Harry’s stomach to turn.

A laugh rumbled up in Harry’s chest at the thought. He still couldn’t believe he was doing such things with his best mate. But he loved every second of it.

“Fancy a wank?” Harry quirked his eyebrow, looking down at Louis’ noticeable bulge in his trousers.

“A wank?” Louis questioned with a wide smile on his face.

“I don’t have the energy to move right now, but if you come over here I might be inclined to have a little tug at it,” Harry said, bouncing his eyebrows at Louis.

“A little hanky panky? Huh, Styles?” Louis smirked wildly as he sat back on his haunches on the floor.

“Come on. Budge up,” Harry said immediately, wiggling his fingers to motion for Louis to join him.

It took only a moment for Louis to crawl up on the couch with Harry, his arms wrapping around the younger boys neck as their mouths connected. Louis’ lips tasted salty, and it only took Harry about a second to register why. It was because of him; because of where Louis’ mouth had been. It made Harry’s stomach flip excitedly.

“C’mon. Trousers off,” Harry breathed against Louis’ lips, wanting nothing more than to be able to repay the favor by getting him off.

It didn’t take long. Harry literally only had to give it a few good tugs before Louis was spilling hot liquid all over his own stomach and Harry’s hand. Afterward, Louis let out a content sigh, “thanks.”

“Anytime,” Harry hummed, closing his eyes, feeling sated in Louis’ arms.

They lay on the very same couch in the back of the tour bus where everything began with them. Harry felt happy, but in the back of his mind he wondered how long it would last. He was certain once they were back with the group things would change drastically between them. It always did. It almost felt like they weren’t even really friends anymore some times. Not like they used to be anyway. And it made Harry wonder how much more he could take. Louis’ friendship meant the world to him. He liked the extended side of it with him, but he wasn’t sure how much more distance, outside of the bedroom, he could handle.

 

As Harry sat sprawled out in a chair backstage that night feeling relaxed and sated, he couldn’t help but notice how Louis spent time talking to everyone but him. Sure, he may have been over-thinking it, or maybe he was being too critical. But even as Harry sent a smile across the room to him, instead of getting one in return, Louis snubbed him by quickly looking away from him.

It didn’t make any sense to Harry. Did it really offend Louis so much to be fooling around with another boy? Did it make that big of a difference? And if it did, then why the hell was he even doing it in the first place? Why was he cheating on his girlfriend with another bloke?

Harry was on the verge of tears right before the anger consumed him. He smacked his fist against the arm of the chair before standing up quickly.

“You okay, ‘Arry?” Niall asked quickly.

Harry didn’t answer, he just stared at Louis, who was finally looking at him due to his sudden movements.

“I’m fine,” Harry seethed before whipping around and heading for the door.

“What’s gotten into him?” He heard Liam ask as he stalked down the hallway toward the toilet.

Once he was standing in front of the large mirror in the loo Harry’s tears finally came. He hated the way Louis made him feel now. Their friendship pretty much deteriorated because of what they were doing, and Harry wasn’t sure if he could do it anymore.

 

Harry didn’t go out that night after the show. He hung out with Lou and Lux while everyone else went out on the town. He even went to bed early. But that proved to be useless since he just tossed and turned thinking about Louis.

As soon as the hotel room door opened with Louis’ entrance, Harry’s heart pounded in his chest. He wasn’t sure if he should ignore him, or pretend he was asleep, or just bring up the things that were weighing on him for a long time. And even as the mattress dipped next to him and Louis slipped in to bed with him, Harry still hadn’t made up his mind on what he was going to do or say.

He felt Louis’ hand slide into the covers, grazing over the bare skin on his hip, and he couldn’t help but hold his breath. He relished in Louis’ touch, but he knew how horrible it would make him feel in the light of day. When Louis’ hand slid further down, wrapping around Harry’s boxer-clad cock, Harry finally made up his mind. His own hand covered Louis’ stopping him from going further.

“Louis, maybe we shouldn’t,” Harry said reluctantly, his cheeks flushing wildly as he realized how stupid it seemed to turn away the object of his affection.

“What?” Louis whispered, pulling his hand back as he looked down at Harry through the dimness.

“I just… I mean… maybe we shouldn’t,” Harry stammered, craning his neck to look back into Louis’ eyes.

“Why not?” Louis asked incredulously, as he sat up and switched on the bed side light.

Why not? Maybe because you have a girlfriend?” Harry said guiltily, sliding his back up against the headboard as he sat up, barely able to look in Louis direction.

Louis let out a sigh before looking up at Harry with inquisitive eyes, “that’s never stopped you before.”

“Maybe it should have,” Harry retorted defensively before letting out a tired sigh, knowing he had always took every ounce of Louis’ affection greedily, lapping it up like a salivating dog, “look, Eleanor is—”

“My relationship with Eleanor has fuck-all to do with you,” Louis snapped immediately, standing on his feet, setting his glare straight on Harry. All Harry could do was gape at Louis in utter shock and awe.

“How can you say it has fuck-all to do with me when you’re fooling around with me every bleeding time you’re drunk and horny!?” Harry erupted, knowing full well that speaking the words out loud was going to cause Louis to have a massive meltdown.

Louis’ eyes flared with displaced anger, leaving Harry almost fearful of a possible physical altercation. He stood on his feet on the other side of the bed just in case. He didn’t want to be caught blindsided.

“You didn’t seem to mind when you were moaning my name as you came every night,” Louis spat viciously.

Harry almost had to stagger back to catch his breath after Louis’ verbal lashing. The words themself seemed harmless enough, but it was the way Louis said it; his voice full of contempt and malice.

“I’m not sure of what to even say right now,” Harry said quietly, his timid eyes barely even able to look at the boy he called his best mate. Harry never heard Louis talk to anyone that way before, let alone him. It made the tears prick in the back of his eyes.

“Well, then don’t say anything, Harry. Don’t fucking say anything,” Louis taunted, sarcasm dripping from every word.

“What the fuck do you want me to say then!? I mean, fuck, Louis. Remember – you’re the one who started all of this!” Harry cried out, instantly wishing he hadn’t brought up the last bit.

“Yeah well, now I’m ending it,” Louis said lowly, flopping down against the other mattress, his back to Harry.

“As I recall, it was me who was ending it,” Harry mumbled quietly. He regretted those words as well, wishing his mouth didn’t produce such verbal diarrhea.

“Whatever, Harry. Then fuck off,” Louis grumbled under his breath.

Harry’s tears helplessly welled in his eyes as he stood staring at Louis’ back as he lay in the bed.

“Right,” he said finally, the word coming out almost inaudibly.

Harry’s stomach turned, knowing full well what was to come for the two of them – more horrible days and weeks of silence, the two of them fighting so childishly instead of working through their differences. His gut wrenched at the thought.

Why did he have to be so mindful? Why couldn’t he just not give a fuck about Eleanor’s feelings like Louis seemed to be doing? Why did he always have to mess everything up?

It didn’t take Harry long to replace the clothing back on his body, knowing full well he would never get any sleep being in such close proximity to Louis. He felt like the absolute lowest human being as he turned and walked out of their hotel room, not sure of what he was going to do or where he was going to spend the night. He could sleep on the bus, but the thought of being alone at a time like this really fucked with his head. He thought of calling one of the other guys, but knew none of them really knew anything about his and Louis’ relationship – or non-relationship. So he found himself knocking on Tom and Lou’s hotel door at 3 o’clock in the morning in tears, hoping to talk to his other best friend.

Lou sat with Harry in the hotel hallway for ages as he cried about all the things he couldn’t change about Louis, and all the feelings he had for him, and how he wished Louis could just be honest with him, as well as himself. But most of all he wanted his best mate back.

It wasn’t until dawn that Lou and Harry went into the hotel room. As he snuggled up in the bed Lux was asleep in, he noticed the rain finally stopped falling. Though the end of the rain meant nothing to him when all he could feel was the thunderstorm in his heart. And as the sun began to seep through the curtains, and Harry didn’t have enough energy left in him to even think about Louis any longer, he finally let sleep devour him.

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