My boring, lonely, chaos life


1. 17/09/2016

I know this isn’t a story but to be honest I feel like it is. This will be a kind of blog I will update and upload weekly. This isn’t Bernid writing this. This is a human being writing this. And I know I will get slack for this but I feel like this is the only and easiest way of expressing my emotions and thoughts. It is only through writing and letting other people see when I feel through writing that hopefully people with understand where I am and hopefully give advice when and where I can on the subjects I touch upon in these “blogs”.  Also just a pre warning, sometimes the subject matter I am writing about many or some or a few people might find hard or difficult if so, start a new story and title it the same as I have with this one and then your message about what you either found offensive, hard, or even asking for advice for. I will try my best to answer the advice as well as I can. I will include this section at the start of any chapter should anybody read this half way through or forget. Just remember we are a community here and we are all here to help each other no matter how hard times are, no one wants to be alone here in this world and just for you to know there is always someone that has got your back. They with look after you, care for you, and maybe who knows even love you. But, just so everyone knows YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I know this world seems horrible, but us as a community of writers, readers and bloggers, we support each other and we always will do. All it takes is a simple comment or message and we will always be willing to help with the situation, no matter how difficult it is. You are never alone here in this world. So let’s help ourselves to help each other. Anyway rant other, hoe you find this other rant of thought interesting.

Oh blimey, where to begin. I am really dropping you into the middle of this. I am in the middle of a 9 day straight run at work, simply because the company I work for is under staffed. The guy I am working with seems to be depressive no matter what happens. I mean yeah, sure I understand why he is feeling like this. He is scared that the shop won’t take any money at all, but yet today we took over £1000, which for a small little shop on a side street is brilliant. I tell him not to worry, and that we will get through these days, and we shall do them well. We shall make money, and we shall prove to the owners of the company that we are the right people for the jobs.
 After work, we head to the nearest bar, and I meet my co-worker’s boyfriend. He seems a nice guy, but yet I nor did any of those two know that this time would take a turn for the worse. Two girls walk to us and sit next to us, no biggy, I thought. They just want a chat. Then one of them starts ranting about how bi-sexuals are just people who like sex. (DISCLAMIER: I do not discriminate against any sexuality of any people at all and my view is, you do whatever makes you happy and you keep on doing it.) Eventually me, my co-worker and his boyfriend ended u walking away from the girls cause one of them decided to run her mouth, (SHE WAS VERY VERY DRUNK AT THIS MOMENT IN TIME) but we could not start the discrimination of what this girl was saying. She was only my age, 21. Yet she had views like this, personally this is silly, I think you should do whatever makes you happy, but if this is what makes you happy, then I am sorry I am walking away.

Anyway, a few drinks later, and a quick fish and chips on the way home. I get to my apartment. I lay on the bed and look at my phone and saw it has two text messages. Both form ex-girlfriends, (ex gf 1 is actually a very good friend of mine despite us breaking u and heading our own separate ways. Ex gf 2 happened to be a year younger than me, and four years ago I thought everything was perfect as did she, I proposed to her and she said yes. Everything was perfect in my eyes and I couldn’t wait to finish uni and live together. But you know the saying, the best laid plans of mice and men. It never works to the way you want it to be. So two months into my first year of my three year course I found out she had been cheating on me. I was devastated. I broke off everything immediately, and we haven’t spoken since) anyway, back to the messages. Exgf1 messaged me asking how I was since we haven’t spoken in a good 10 days. Then I scroll down on my hone then I see it exgf2. This is what the message read.
 Hi Dan. I know things didn’t end well between us. I know I am so deeply in the wrong. I will admit I cheated on you. But that is a different person to whom I am now. I wish you could give me a second chance. I know you don’t trust me. So what about if we talk first again, then maybe dating and then who knows. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. C xxx

When I saw this my heart sunk. This was the love of my life, that had cheated on me, but now she is wanting me back. What the hell is going on here. We haven’t spoken in 4 years, and when you do message me this is the first thing you come out with. WTF. I am not sure how to interpret this nor how to deal with this message. But for now on, I shall listen to my conscience and I am hopefully this won’t explode in my face this time round.

I am going to leave it there for this week guys. Next week I shall post my rant from the week in my life. Anywaysssssss hope you enjoy.


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