“So we'll see if we can get it out of Toni and you try Mikey.” Holly said looking at everyone in the room.
“Yeah, I still can’t believe we didn’t know about Toni liking Mikey. It does explain a lot.” Ronan added running his hand through his hair.
“I know, we're meant to be her best friends.” Stacey almost whispered, god, how she felt guilty and wanted so badly to make it up to her.
Shane walked over to her and pulled her into his arms. “It’s ok, hun, we know now, we can sort it out. And at least she will know one way or another.” Shane kissed Stacey lightly on the top of her head. He was just grateful he wasn’t in this situation. In fact, he would have betted they all felt like that.
Toni has slipped out the front door without anyone noticing, she really didn’t feel like putting on a front and be happy happy even if Natalie did help Toni along the way. It was still her choice and she had picked the drink.
Toni finally came to a stop. She looked up and noticed she had walked all the way to the park, which was over 3 miles away from her and the girls' place.
She sighed and walked over to the swings. She didn’t think, she didn’t do anything really apart from just be there. She was so far away she didn’t even notice the shadow of a man behind her.
“When were you going to tell me?” Toni almost feel off the swing when she realised it was Mikey’s voce, she turned around to see him standing there.
He had his car keys in his hand. She looked up and looked into his eyes. She could see he had been crying but yet there was anger creeping around.
She could tell that just from his face that he was angry. She could always tell what he was thinking or feeling. Apart from that one thing she so wanted to know. Could he ever feel for her what she felt for him? She knew that would never happen with or without Nat. She had to be friends or lose him forever.
Toni jumped when he shouted at her. “I said when were you going to tell me?” He didn’t know, did he? Please god, don’t let him know, if this was he reaction then she had in fact lost him as a friend.
Toni found she couldn’t speak so she just shrugged instead and turned around. Taking a big breath in.
“I wasn’t going to. I didn’t think I should, as I didn’t know what you would say or do. I couldn’t deal.”
Mikey had seen her walking down his road and into the park, so he had followed her. He was upset about Toni, thinking of reasons why she didn’t tell him. Then the anger took over and the words Natalie had said span around in his head. When they had first met over four years ago they became really close. Each could tell each other anything. Then things changed between them, Toni left for LA. He was never really sure if it was him that changed or her. Maybe even both.
As Mikey looked at her, he could have sworn he saw a small glint in her again then the sadness returned followed by fear and panic.
“So you weren’t going to tell me. Don’t you think that you should have? What were you going to do? Let me carry on as if everything was alright?”
“Well, things are alright, really. I hope they are?” “No, they're not. You didn’t tell me the most important thing that I should have known. I thought we were friends.” “We are, we were. I’m sorry but I did what I felt was best. I tried to hide it. You weren’t meant to know. What does it matter you know. I know how you feel end of topic.”
Mikey pushed the swing so hard that in swung around and did a loop over the bar.
“Natalie was right, you obviously don’t see me as a friend. As much as I hate to admit, she was right. If you were you would have told me she was using me.”
“I do see you as a friend. I did see you as a friend.” Toni and Mikey said speaking over each other, neither one really listening to the other. They stopped talking and looked at each other and shouted “What?”
Mikey looked at Toni, she wasn’t saying a word. “Well, you don’t, because you would have told me. So I guess this is it then. I don’t think I’ll be able to trust you or know if you're keeping something from me. So maybe in time we could get our friendship back. Right now, I can’t even look at you without knowing you kept this from me.”
Toni just stared at him in disbelief. Couldn’t he see what she had been doing to herself over him? Not that she blamed him. It still hurt to hear he didn’t want to see her. She tried her best to keep the tears back not to let him see how much this hurt.
“Fine” She whispered. She turned around and started to walk away stopping for a few seconds. “Mikey, you're right about one thing. I don’t see you as a friend and I haven’t done for a long time. I’m sorry.”
Toni ran as fast as she could away from Mikey and the hurt and the fact that if she stopped her heart would break right out of her chest and die in her tears.
Mikey just stood there, he was heartbroken. He couldn’t believe he had told Toni that he couldn’t be her friend for her to turn it back in his face and say she never did see him as a friend. That was why she left, that’s why she had been the way she had with him. She didn’t want him as a friend. Well at least he knew and he could move on.
Stacey came walking down the stairs, not sure if she should panic at the fact Toni wasn’t in her room.
She had just got to the living room door when she heard the front door open and saw Toni run up the stairs. After a few seconds the music when on. Stacey looked at everyone. It was Glory of love, which was a bit 'oh no'.
Keith somehow was the first up the stairs. He tried to open Toni’s door but it was locked.
“Toni, open up now. Please, we need to talk. What happened?”
“Go away, I’m fine. I’m dealing with it.” He heard Toni shout back. Then the music turned off.
“Is that good or bad?” Katie said behind Stacey. “I don’t know” Stacey said turning to look at Katie then back to the door.
“Toni, come on, open up.” Stacey begged, to their surprise Toni’s door opened. She held a box in her arms.
”I’m dealing with it.” Toni said walking pass them all not looking at none of them for fear of breaking down.
She opened the kitchen door and shut it behind her. She made sure they hadn’t followed her. She walked to the end of the garden. Seeing the metal bin she smiled a bit. She took the lid off and tipped all the contents of the box inside.
She pulled the bottle of Vodka from her Jacket she unscrewed the lid, taking a mouthful and then pouring the rest in the bin.
“Well, I just want to take this moment and say goodbye to you. I’ve ruined my life over my feelings for you for long enough. You don’t want to be my friend, I don’t want to have feelings for you.”
Toni pulled the box of matches from her jean pocket and lit the match. Looking at the flame for a few seconds before she threw it into the bin, watching as all the contents go up in the smoke and flames.
“Rest in peace my love for you, Mikey. For now I’m over you.”
Holly watched Toni’s actions for a few moments before walking over to her friend and pulled her into a hug as she watched Ronan and Shane put the fire out.