He wasn’t even gone a minute when he heard Stacey call him back in.
But he already knew the reason why. Toni had started to sing Glory of love.
Toni stopped dead as soon as she heard the first bar of the song. She looked around for Josh. All she saw was the others looking at her. She could see the confusion in their eyes, and the pity.
Toni’s lip dropped and she burst out crying. She looked around for something to throw but couldn’t find anything so she threw her Discman.
Mikey saw it coming and managed to dive out the way before it hit him. “That was close,” he thought.
Stacey ran over to her trying to get Toni in a bear hug but it wasn’t working.
“Shane, guys, a little help please. Josh.”
They all jumped up and walked over to Toni calmly, trying not to freak her out.
Toni ran around to the table knocking chairs over on her way. It was no good, she was surrounded by them all.
So she grabbed a cushion and threw it. This time she managed to hit someone. “That bloody hurt, Toni.” Keith shouted at her. It made her stop dead for a few seconds. “I wasn’t aiming at you, so move next time.” Toni aimed another cushion but this time it wouldn’t move. She turned around; Josh was holding it stopping her from hurting anyone else.
She collapsed crying in Josh’s arms. “It’s ok, Toni. It will be ok.”
“I tried not to love him, it’s too hard. Josh, he doesn’t love me. Oh god, I can’t breath, I don’t want to be like this but it hurts not to.”
That was all the others could hear. They couldn’t do anything for Toni, it broke each of their hearts.
“Some party that turned out to be.” Holly said standing in the door way with Stacey. They were saying bye to the lads.
“You’re telling me?” Stacey blew a kiss to Shane and closed the door.
They walked back into the living room. Josh had got Toni sitting on the sofa but she was still crying. They needed to know why.
Shane opened the car doors and everyone got inside. He was just down the road when he broke the silence.
“That was weird” “You’re telling me, mate. I’ve never seen someone act like that before.” Ronan said running his hand through his hair. “And poor Mikey, Toni seemed to want to kill you tonight.” Ronan added turning to look at Mikey in the back of the car. Mikey just shrugged. He couldn’t even speak, he was in shock over what he had just seen.
“Yeah, but Toni missed him and hit me” Keith rubbed his head where the cushion had caught him. The guys stayed quiet in their thoughts.
Toni woke up to a banging headache, she turned over and saw that Josh was asleep on her bedroom floor. She knew what that meant. She had got drunk and freaked out, in the mean time called him to help her.
She just wished she could remember what she had done or said even.
Toni drifted back of to sleep again with thoughts of the only thing that ever played on her mind. Him.
“I know how you feel about me,” He said, Toni’s eyes widened with horror. He couldn’t know. It would change everything if he knew.
“How?” She asked taking a step backwards as he took one forward.
No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t get away from him.
He was standing in front of her, so close she could smell his aftershave, feel his breath on her face.
“Because you feel the same for me as I feel for you.” He lent in to kiss her but she woke up.
“Why do I always bloody wake up when he's just going to kiss me? It’s bad enough that I will never know his touch in the real world. Can’t I at least have him in my dreams?”
“What?” Toni looked up to see Stacey standing by the side of her bed with a cup of coffee and a muffin. Stacey saw Toni look to the floor.
“He had filming, said he would call you later or something.” Stacey sat herself down on the bed and looked hard at Toni.
How come her and Holly didn’t notice the pain in Toni’s eyes, it was obvious, even going back the four years. Not once had any of them asked what was wrong. Now she was going to help her best friend put it right. But first she had to find out what that problem was.
Stacey stayed in Toni’s room for over an hour, just sitting watching Toni. Neither one of them spoke. Stacey read a book while Toni just tidied up CD collections trying it in different orders but always going back to the same one, which was how many CD’s of a certain artist she had.
Stacey finally decided to leave Toni in peace, she wasn’t getting anywhere. She walked into the kitchen and found a bottle of Vodka in the bin. Stacey knew that she had hid everything after she took the last bottle of Toni. So how did she get that one?
“So, what did I do?” Stacey turned around and saw Toni standing in the doorway. She still had on her PJ’S and fluffy Winnie the pooh slippers.
“Well, you almost hit Mikey with your Discman after hearing that song that will remain nameless. Then you tried to get Mikey again with a cushion but ended up hitting Keith instead. You told Josh you wanted to go back to LA. Oh, and you can learn to love Josh and forget the other guy.” As Stacey looked at Toni she realised she may have been too hard on her.
Toni’s face fell when she heard what she had done. “God, I could have killed them. I’m sorry. I can’t help it. It just takes over. I’m sorry, so sorry.” Toni broke down crying. Stacey had her in a hug in seconds.
She was grateful that Holly walked in with the lads in tow. They stood just inside for a few seconds before entering in the kitchen.
“I’ll make some tea.” Stacey moved out the way and let Holly hug Toni for a while.
“Don’t cry girlie, it means the end of the world when you cry.” Everyone knew that Toni was not the kind of person to cry over anything unless it was in fact the end of the world.
Toni stepped out of the hug and wiped her eyes with the back of hand. She looked up and wished she hadn’t, as the guys were all standing in front of her.
“Hi guys. Yeah, end of the world. I’ve just been taking over by aliens. No big deal, I’ll be ok in a day, just a hangover. Keith, sorry for hitting you.”
She started to walk out the kitchen, she knew everyone was staring at her. She turned back and looked at Mikey. “Mikey, sorry I almost hit you.”
Toni made her way upstairs, numbering under her breath, “It would have been your own fault if I bloody well had, idiot” Toni whispered under her breath, not knowing that Holly had in fact heard her.
“I’m getting unrequited love is a bitch” Keith stated as a matter of fact.
“Yes, a bitch that is destroying herself in the process of some guy. I tell you what, when I bloody get my hands on him I’ll kill him.” Stacey said slamming the fridge door shut.
“You can’t blame the guy. Maybe he doesn’t know or” Ronan started to say before he saw the look of the girls' faces. “Or he's a total prick head, who needs to get a clue and fast.” He saw the guys laugh under their breaths and cringed.
“I’m sorry but it’s true. Toni isn’t helping herself by getting drunk and flipping out, she needs to move on. Get over this guy. He obvious doesn’t feel the same. Where is she going to get, becoming an alcoholic?”
Toni heard Ronan say inside the living room. She thought she better come down and make up for last night. Stacey and Holly were in the kitchen and didn’t even know she was there. Neither did the lads by their conversation.
“I’d be careful, mate, if I was you. The girls will kill you. Stacey and Holly are not to be messed with.” Shane said looking at the door.
“I know but be honest, what do you two think?” Ronan asked Keith and Mikey, who looked at each and rolled their eyes.
“Personally I think that this guy is nuts. Toni really loves him. She has so much to give. I know we’ve not seen her in over a year but it’s Toni. She’ll make a great girlfriend.” Keith said nodding his head toMikey.
“Well, I don’t think anyone is worth getting in this state for.” Mikey saw the look on the guys’ faces. “Ok, I know I did the same thing a few years ago but look at me now. I have Natalie so it’s cool. Toni will get over it. It’s probably just a phase.”
Mikey said the words but didn’t really believe them to be true. If Toni was doing this then it had to be serious. He thought that maybe he was the best person to talk to her about it. They had always been close.
As she heard the words she wanted to cry. It was real what she was feeling. But she guessed they were right, she had to move on. The guy she wanted didn’t feel the same, so what was the point?