“What an odd dream.” I yawned out as I rubbed my eyes. Then I looked to my side, where a tiny baby was fast asleep, sucking on his thumb. It was defiantly not a dream. Fuck. Liam was a such a good baby, usually from what I read, babies are obnoxious and cry all night long. It was probably because he was very exhausted from all the hectic events that happened last night, he was just dropped off to some complete stranger. I’m just glad I didn’t crush the poor baby in my sleep. He looked so adorable sucking his thumb, I took a picture of him and sent it to Phil. I checked the time and realized I was up pretty early compared to what I usually wake up at. It was currently 10:38am. I made a barrier of pillows around Liam before I went to go make a bottle and coffee. I started up the coffee maker and boiled some water for Liam’s bottle. Then I realized Liam only has one baby bottle which was in my room. He really needs more. I quickly washed the bottle and poured the boiled water in it. Liam started crying as I started pouring the formula just like yesterday.
“Coming Liam!” I called out to him, shaking the bottle on the way to my room.
“Hey Liam, its alright. I have your bottle now.” I picked him up then started feeding him. This is actually not that bad. Suddenly, the doorbell rang,
“Are you fucking kidding me, you twat?! I literally just got comfortable!” I picked up Liam and walked to the door still feeding him. The doorbell got louder, the closer I got the door, annoying the baby.
“COMING! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.” I opened the door to find Phil.
“Aw Dan! He’s so cute!”Phil said holding his hands up to his hands up to his mouth, gawking at the little bundle in my arms.
“You gonna just stare at the baby or are you gonna come in?” He laughed and picked up his bag, following me into the lounge.
“So are you just going to stand there or are you going to help me?” I asked Phil, getting him out of his baby crazed trance.
“Oh, right. Sorry.” Phil took Liam from my arms since he was done with his bottle.
“Finally I can drink my coffee!” I went to go grab it from the kitchen and came right back. Once I was back, we sat on the sofa and started talking about our situation.
“Okay so his name is Liam, his mother dropped him off yesterday and child services is closed on the weekends so we’ll have to keep him until Monday-“
“Do you have the things he’ll need?” Phil interrupted.
“We were going to go yesterday but it was getting late but we can go now.” I suggested. Phil agreed so I went to get dressed whilst Phil watched Liam.
In about 6 minutes, I was all ready to go when Phil called out for me. I went over to his from to see Phil attempting to change Liam’s nappy.
“Dan, how do you change a nappy?”
“Well for starters, you will need a nappy and baby wipes. Which are in my room.I’ll be right back.” I went to my room in search for the things. Just as I found them, I heard Phil yell out Liam’s name. I went over to see and found the funniest scene in front of me. Phil’s face fast was dripping wet and Liam was giggling with his bright blue eyes.
“You living flop.” I laughed, handing Phil the baby wipes.
“I didn’t know babies could aim that high!”
I changed Liam whilst Phil wiped his face off.
“I’m getting pretty good at this, don’t you reckon?"
"Well if by 'good' you mean successful putting it on backwards then yes."
"For crying out loud- hold on" I put it on right this time.
"There we go. Now stop laughing at me. I bet you can't even change a nappy Mr.Igotweedonbybaby
“Shut up Dan. Let’s get going. Also are we getting a cab or are we walking?” Phil told me, picking up the baby.
“Uh, I think it’d be better if we got a cab this time just in case. We don’t want fans seeing Liam with us. Do you have the keys?”
“Alright, let’s see if there’s one passing outside and yeah I have them.” We walked out to see some people getting off a taxi two buildings down meaning we had to speed up to catch it. Luckily we made it in time. Once inside the man asked where to.
“Tesco, please.” Phil answered. They were fixing the roads or something two streets down from Tesco, meaning load of traffic and loud noises. Liam was starting to get scared so he cried.
“Fuck. I forgot to make another bottle.” I whispered to Phil.
“Here give him to me.” I did as Phil told me then he started to hum to the baby. I recognized the song.
“Really Phil? The Pokemon theme song?” I laughed quietly at him.
“Hey look it’s working, he’s calming down.” It was true, Liam was now much calmer. “Hey baby, look at the plane.” Phil pointed out the window showing Liam an aeroplane whilst making little plane noises.
“Cute kid. Who’s the father?” The driver said looking through the mirror. We were stuck in traffic for a little, might as well make conversation.
“He’s mine” Phil and I said at the same time. We looked at each other with wide eyes. “Oh, we’re both his dads.” I quickly added. The driver looked like he forced a smile then didn’t say anything else. He was probably a homophobic twat. After about 8 minutes, we were finally at Tesco.
“I don’t think he liked us every much.” Phil told me. We laughed then walked in to get a trolley. I pushed the trolley and Phil carried Liam.
“Okay so what do we get first?” I asked Phil. “Where even is the baby aisle?” Phil asked me.
“This is going to take a while.” I sighed. We walked around Tesco until we stumbled upon the baby section since I refused to take directions.
“Dan, look!” Phil went straight to the baby clothes. Of course Phil would. He was holding up a long sleeves bodysuit with a panda on it. I just smiled and rolled my eyes. I went over to Phil where we was looking through the clothes. He picked out: 2 lion bodysuits, a cute baby blue jumper, a grey teddy bear fleece jacket, a white and brown bear pram suit, 2 pairs of black trousers, a blue and white overalls with a bear's face as a pocket, and a bunch animal socks. I picked out a Winnie The Pooh bodysuit, 3 Halloween themed bodysuits and a pastel pink jumper. I went to go look for nappies, and other baby supplies. As I grabbed the last box of nappies from the highest shelf, Phil came up behind me with Liam and almost made me fall backwards.
"Hey Dan! Can we pleaseeeee get this?" Phil was holding up a 'I love my daddy' shirt.
"Phil, what is that?"
"Pleaseeee Daniel? Liam likes it. Don't you like it, Liam?" Phil said that last part to Liam in a baby voice. Liam cooed back at him.
"See! He does like it!" Phil kept insisting.
"Fine." He smiled and put in the trolley.
"Oh also I got these cute little beanies for him!" He told me, dumping a white beanie and blue one in the trolley.
Phil went back to the baby clothes whilst I got the baby wipes, a four pack of baby bottles, 2 bibs, baby powder, baby shampoo, and baby rub. I was going to go check up on Phil but I realized he was no longer looking at baby clothes. I pushed the trolley around the baby aisles till I found Phil. He was in the next aisle talking to a girl.
"Aw what a cute baby! What's his name?" The brunette asked.
"Thanks! His name is Liam." Phil answered her cheerfully.
"Are you his father?" She asked leaning in towards Phil. I decided to intervene their little conversation.
"Hey Phil do you think Liam will- oh, I'm sorry, who is this?" I asked innocently as if I didn't just rudely interrupt them.
"Oh hey Dan! This is- sorry, what's you name?"
"Oh, hi my name is Chelsea. I was saying Liam was such a cute baby with a really cute daddy as well. " she said looking at Phil. Phil blushed and I knew I had to say something.
"Well actually I'm his father." Why did I just say that.
"Oh well he's really cute. I better get going, bye Liam!" She booped Liam on the nose and left.
"What was that about?" Phil asked me once the girl was out of sight.
"Well for starters, you came over here and claimed he was yours." Phi, said with a huge smile.
"Well you know what? shut up. " I said whilst looking for dummies and a baby bag.
"Hey Liam. Look at your daddy. He's getting you some dummies!" Phil told Liam in a baby voice.
"Phillll, you're technically his daddy as well!" Phil just laughed and went in search for more clothes.
I looked up and saw the girl- uh Chelsea I think.
"Hey so just to clarify, Liam is just yours, not Phil's? I was wondering if you had his number?" She rambled on shyly. I should've been a good friend but I don't want to share my best friend with others.
"Sorry, he's my husband." Did I just call my best friend my husband?
"Oh um I'm so sorry, you have a lovely family! Again, sorry!" I should'nt have done that but I really don't feel bad about it.
Phil started walking towards me, dumping more socks into the trolley.
"Hey do we have everything we need?" He asked
"Yeah I think. Let's get going."
We paid for the baby items, which were rather expensive. Liam started crying before we even left the store.
"Phil, I think we should go home and change Liam." He agreed and we made our way home.