been gone

so hey my name is shelly im from a stat ein the u.s.a and ive gotten rid of my movellas soooooo many times and i just wanna keep one ive been through alot so heres a lil diary of my life

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1. point A

so here's what my life started as...... born in February ive been in love or what i thought was love to many times. heres how that goes, i give my heart out and either i loose myself or i get crushed by a heart-pounding,soul crushing boy. i hate the times where i give,and give,and give and all they do is take it all and leave me with nothing. back on February 23,2015 i met a really great guy named Jose he became the loml (love of my life) quick but he lied who he was he then revealed who he was and it made me love him even more he kept leaving me an i thought it was my fault so what i found out was he was in  a coma and nearly dying i felt as if my heart had fallen straight out of my chest and i had nothing to fall back on, like i was falling in a never ending hole. on April 28th 2015 he passed away at just 16 years of age. when his best friend told me the news i felt as if my whole world had just stopped and punched me in the gut. As if i had lost my heart,i was depressed and didn't know what to do i didn't know who i could turn to who would know what i was feeling i just became lost..

i miss that lil shit head everyday i felt so weak for months at a time like what if it was me,if i could be in his place and lift the pain off of his poor weak soul :(

 

things i could've changed wouldn't make things better,because of every feeling you get,every breath you take,even every hit you'll ever take you can never change things that have already happened my you can make a better future and not think as if your world is changing or dying away but giving you obstacles for the new day. I've since learned how to express myself but i'm not a suicidal person or a depressed person or even attempt any of it i'm just a new girl with a dream of a new future....

 

-shelly

 

 

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