Stars in Your Eyes

The stars in your eyes are burning you alive. Shay is the younger sister of Louis Tomlinson, and Harry Styles is Louis’ best friend. She’s known him since they were kids, but as she grows up her feelings begin to change. Harry no longer annoys her, he intrigues her, and she likes kissing him more than anything. A story about a girl who falls in love with a boy and vice versa.
[American High School AU]

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16. Chapter Sixteen

Shay found herself walking home from school with Damien on Wednesday. They decided to get more work done on their presentation. She convinced herself that it would be best to go to his house again. She didn’t really want to bring Damien Styles to her house in front of her parents or Louis. She didn’t want to have to explain anything.

Just as they were getting settled around the table, the front door opened.

“Damien!” She heard Harry’s voice echo through the house and her entire body froze.

“In here!” Damien called out and Shay cringed. No, don’t call him in here. Please.

“Hey—” Harry said, coming into the dining room. His words, his whole thought process cut off when he saw her.

“Shay. Hey,” he choked out, staring her down.

“Hi,” she said quietly.

“What are you doing here?” Harry asked, looking between her and his brother.

“Homework,” she stated plainly.

She could see the slight hint of jealousy in his eyes as he contemplated her words and looked at their books that were sprawled across the table.

“Cool,” he said, nodding his head.

Shay’s eyes stared into his as a wave of anger hit her. She did not care if he thought it was cool or not that she was there with Damien. Actually, she’d rather him not think it was cool. She hoped he was out of his mind   with jealousy. She hoped it tore him apart and he lost sleep over it. Then just maybe he’d feel a slight bit of what she’d been going through since he broke up with her.

“What did you want?” Damien asked Harry.

“Oh. Uh… nothing,” Harry said, waving it off, still looking at Shay.

She had to look away because it hurt too much to look into his eyes. Her textbook was the perfect distraction.

“Alright then,” Damien said, sounding impatient, probably wondering why Harry was lingering.

“Yeah,” Harry said, but didn’t move.

He stood there for a few more moments before he turned and left. And when his presence wasn’t suffocating her, Shay finally felt like she could breathe.

“That was weird,” Damien mumbled to himself as he started flipping through his text.

“Yeah,” Shay agreed quietly.

“So, alright. Where were we?” Damien asked, looking up at her.

“Uh… I think we were going over Visa’s and green cards last time,” she said, opening her own textbook.

“Oh, yeah. Okay,” Damien nodded, flipping the pages to find the right chapter in the text.

They were just getting back into things when Damien’s Mother, Anne, got home.

“Damien! Are you ready?” She called out.

“What?” Damien asked, sounding confused.

“Damien, where are you?” She called out again.

“In here, Mom!” Damien call back to her.

“Come on, let’s go!” She said as she rounded the corner into the dining room.

“What…?” Damien asked.

“Oh! Hi, Shaylynn,” Anne smiled brightly at her.

“Hi, Anne,” Shay greeted her with a smile.

“It’s so lovely to see you around here. You’ll have to come by for dinner soon,” she smiled brightly.

“Where are we going?” Damien asked his Mom.

“Your doctor’s appointment,” she said, clapping her hands together in a hurried motion.

“No. That’s tomorrow,” he sighed.

“No. It’s today. And if we don’t get going now, we’re going to be late. Let’s go,” she told him.

“It’s not until tomorrow,” he argued.

“Do you want to make a bet? I made the appointment myself, Damien. I wrote it on the calendar,” she told him.

“I swear, it’s not until tomorrow,” he said.

“It’s today. Let’s go. We don’t have time for this,” she said, pushing him along.

“Uh, I guess I have a doctor’s appointment. I thought it was tomorrow,” he told Shay as his cheeks turned ten shades of red.

“It’s okay, Damien. Maybe we can work on it tomorrow then,” she told him.

“Yeah. Good idea,” he smiled back at her.

“Come on, Damien,” they heard Anne call from the foyer.

“I’ve gotta go. I’m sorry,” he said, getting up from the chair.

“I’ll see you at school tomorrow,” Shay said, closing her textbook to put it in her bag.

“Yeah, see you,” he said and disappeared out of the dining room.

Shay quickly packed up her things so she could leave. She felt weird being there without Damien.

“Shay,” she heard Harry’s voice and her head shot up to find him standing in the doorway.

“I’m leaving,” she told him.

“Can we… can we talk?” He asked. Shay sighed heavily as she continued to throw things in her bag.

“Please,” he said, walking toward the table.

“Harry, I just… what do you want me to say?” She asked, looking him in the eye finally.

“I just… I want you to let me explain… explain better than I did before,” he said sadly.

“What is there to explain? I mean, you ended our relationship for my brother. Like, it’s plain and simple. And I get it. Louis means more to you,” Shay told him.

“No. No, that’s not it,” he said, shaking his head.

“Then what is it?” She asked impatiently.

“I… I…” He stammered.

“Harry, you… God… you made me love you, okay. You made me fall in love with you and then you ripped it all away just as fast. I am upset. And you constantly asking me how I feel and how I’m doing just adds to the pain. And I just really wish you would stop. Just stop,” she pleaded with him.

“Shay… I don’t want to add to it. I just want you to know why I did it,” he said, looking pained.

“Why you did it?” She scoffed, rolling her eyes.

“When I did it, I told you it wasn’t forever, Shay. It was just for now. That I wanted to give Louis time. But you’re… you’re hurting and I can see you’re slowly starting to resent me. And I… I… just… I don’t want to lose you,” he pleaded.

Her heart almost felt like it stopped beating with his words. He didn’t want to lose her? He didn’t want to fucking lose her? How did he think it was going to go? That she would just faithfully sit at home and wait and wait and wait for the day that he just might come back? He was delusional.

Shay scoffed and shook her head.

“Shay, please. I don’t want it to be like this with you,” he sighed.

“I can’t believe the expectations you have,” she said, meeting his eye again.

“Expectations?” He asked, looking at her questioningly.

“Yeah, you expect me to just sit here waiting for you. You expect me not to be mad. You expect me to not be hurt. I don’t have you, Harry! And as easy as you seem to think it is to just bypass feelings, I can’t. I feel everything. I feel love. I feel pain. I feel anger. I feel resentment. I can’t turn that off. I may only be sixteen, but I’m not naïve, Harry,” she told him. Her whole body was on fire.

“I know. I know, Shay. I’m sorry. I feel those things too. I’m not… I’m not just sitting here day after day forgetting about you. I remember everything, every detail about you to a sickening degree. I miss everything about you. I miss it all. And I just want… I just want you to know I’m not doing this to hurt you. I just… I love you, Shay. I… I don’t want to lose you,” he pleaded with her.

Shay bit her lip as his words tore through her entire body, hurting her in places she never thought it could. Every inch of her seemed to ache, whether physically or mentally. She felt tears trying to pry their way out of their ducts, but she held her breath and did everything she could to hold them back. She didn’t want to cry. It would only make the entire situation worse.

“Can’t we… can’t we be friends, Shay?” Harry asked.

Shay almost died with his words. If she was not so pre-occupied with holding her breath, she probably would have cried out in some sort of pain from his words.

“Friends?” She choked out, hoping her tears would hold back on their own for the time being.

“Yeah. I just… I want you in my life. I really miss you, Shay,” he told her.

“Yeah, like ‘let’s-go-to-the-movies’ type friends?” She choked out her sarcasm.

“Shay…” He sighed.

“Harry, I don’t know what kind of delusion you’re living in, but you have to know that something like that just isn’t going to happen,” she told him truthfully.

“Why not, Shay? Can’t we go back?” He asked.

“No. We can’t. It is absolutely impossible to ‘go back’. I don’t even know what we would go back to. We… we never were really friends. You kissed me and then we were us. Before, you were just my brother’s best friend,” she told him.

“Then can we just… can we try to be in each other’s lives? I can’t stop…” He choked out.

“You have two choices, Harry,” she told him.

“Oh, here we go with the fucking choices again,” Harry scoffed and Shay couldn’t help but glare at him.

“Sorry. It’s just… that’s what your brother said to me,” he said, shaking his head. Shay took a deep breath because of the mentioning of her brother.

“And how is that going for you? Are you still backing your original choice?” She asked him bitterly.

“Shay…” He sighed.

“It’s because of you that I loathe my brother to the point that I wish I never had a brother. Because if Louis didn’t exist, then you wouldn’t be in my life. And if you weren’t in my life, then I wouldn’t feel like this,” she said, allowing her tears to make their appearance.

“We’d be in each other’s lives, Shay. Even if Louis didn’t exist, we’d be in each other’s lives,” he told her matter-of-factly.

Jesus,” Shay breathed as her tears hit her hard.

“Please, Shay… I hate seeing you cry,” he told her, swiping his thumbs across her cheeks, wiping away the tears.

“And what happens if Louis never comes around? What happens then, if he can’t ever accept our feelings for each other? What happens then, Harry?” Shay asked through her tears.

“I don’t know,” he breathed.

“Will you… will you go against him? Will you be willing to fight for me like you didn’t before?” She asked him, feeling the anger inside her bubbling up.

“I will fight for you,” he stated plainly.

“Do you promise?” She asked as she wiped her tears.

“I promise, Shay,” he said, stepping closer to her.

“Because I can’t deal with this for much longer,” she choked out.

“You won’t have to,” he whispered, wrapping her in his arms, hugging her tightly.

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