Forever and Always

Alaina has been best friends with the adorable dimple faced curly haired boy, Harry Styles since she was born. They're a week apart and were always stuck by each other for as long as they could remember. She started to develop feelings for him in middle school while he's had feelings for her since they were little. Except they're both oblivious to know how the other one feels about each other. Their lives are far from being picture perfect, especially Alaina's. Her dad is dead and her uncle abuses her every day at home while her mother is not around. She can't tell anyone about it...including her best friend, the person that she trusts the most. On top of that Harry gets a new girlfriend named Kendall and he starts to ditch Alaina for her. It shatters her heart and it makes her miss the times they had together. The times where he didn't cancel their plans or ditch her just to be with his snobby girlfriend, and when he showed how much he cared for her. No matter how many times Harry tries to fix things with his best friend, Kendall has to get in between. With all the drama that's going on between them, will they finally confess their love for each other....Or will everything come crashing down on them and they lose each other forever? *CHAPTERS 2,3, & 37 ARE NOT SHOWING UP ON THE APP! PLEASE READ THEM ONLINE, THANKS!

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39. Chapter 38

"What hurts the most, was being so close. And having too much to say and watching you walk away," -What Hurts the Most by, Rascal Flatts 

 

 

Chapter 38

 

Harry’s POV

 

My heart throbs in my chest and I feel my stomach drop and try to hold back the tears that are filling up rapidly in my eyes as I stand in the middle of the empty hallway, watching my best friend, the girl I love, walk away from me crying. I can’t believe this. I just lost the girl that I’ve been in love with since I was 13 again but for good this time. I mean it’s obvious that I did because she told me that she hated me and I was dead to her. When she told me those words, it felt like I got stabbed in the chest multiple times with knife.

 

But to be honest she does have the right to hate me because I’ve hurt her emotionally for 4 months all thanks to my “girlfriend”. I just want to go after her and tell her how I really feel and that I really chose her but I know she won’t believe me. I mean, why would she especially after the amount of times I haven’t treated her like my best friend? I should have told her but I couldn’t get the words out because Kendall was right there. Even though I don’t love her as much as I love Alaina, I still didn’t want to hurt her feelings.

 

I didn’t want her to think I was playing with her feelings too. Well…I have but still I wouldn’t like hurting her too after what I just did to Alaina. It would just make me feel even more terrible. If this was Kendall’s plan to make my best friend leave me for good then she obviously succeed. The love of my life is gone and I may never get her back again. I just want to go somewhere and cry because I failed to be a good best friend to the girl that I’ve known since I was a born. Suddenly, I hear the sound of Kendall’s shoes clopping behind me in the hallway, getting closer and closer every second.

 

“Thank god she’s finally gone, let’s go!” I hear Kendall say.

 

I want to move and go back to class with her but I can’t. I can’t move at all because I feel like I’m literally frozen in my spot due to the fact that I’m hurt over what Alaina said to me in my face and that I lost her.

 

“Harry...come on! She’s gone, now let’s go!” she said again.

 

Before I was able to even react, I feel her grab my wrist and she literally drags me behind her like she always does. I want to break free from her grasp and go after Alaina but I can’t. We finally reach the classroom and we walk inside, the door closing behind us.

 

“In case you all are wondering, Alaina is gone for the rest of the period,” Kendall said and takes me back to “our” table.

 

“Alright, Ms. Jenner we have 15 minutes left of class so you can present if you want to,” Mr. Baker said.

 

“Okay. Harry, get my poster board,” she said sweetly.

 

“Get it yourself, sweetheart!” I wanted to say but I just do what she says anyway and grab her poster board and walk behind her to the front of the room. She hangs it up with 4 magnets on the board for the class to see and then turns around to face the class with a sweet smile on her face.  This is going to take forever especially since she had to do genetics. She had to use a hot pink poster board and add tons of decorations because she wanted it to be “perfect” so she can get an A+. This is not a contest on who has the best poster; it’s just a project for crying out loud but to Kendall, everything has to be all about HER. Sometimes I don’t even know why I got involved with someone like her. I feel like an idiot every time I’m with her.

 

“Hello! As you know, I’m Kendall and here we have my beautiful poster that is all about genetics,” she said.

 

She stops talking and I thought she was trying to think of something else to say but I thought wrong when she nudged me, telling me it’s my turn to speak. I really don’t know what to say because she asked me last minute to help her present.

 

“Oh…um…right here is a punnett squares that determines whether a baby will have brown or green eyes,” I started. “Green eyes are recessive while brown eyes are more dominant. So it’s more likely that a baby will have a 50% chance of having brown eyes while having a 37% chance of having green,”

 

Okay…that sounded good enough. I’m surprised that I remembered this stuff from 4 months ago. Usually I don’t but I guess I am today. For the next few minutes, Kendall and I keep going back and forth explaining her project. We finished right as the bell rang and I literally sigh with relief because now I can finally get out of here. I just want to go home now because I’m still upset about what happened to between Alaina and I. I grab my stuff from the table before making my way out into the hall, leaving Kendall behind in the classroom even though she told me multiple times to wait for her.

 

On the inside I wanted to stop and wait but on the outside I just didn’t care anymore so I kept walking. I hear her calling for me down the hallway, making some people stare with confusion but I ignore it. Kendall ends up catching up to me, asking why I didn’t wait so I had to lie to her that I didn’t hear her. Terrible excuse, I know but she seemed to believe me. Before going outside to my car, I decide to go to my locker so I can put some stuff away that I didn’t need to bring home with me today. While I put my stuff away, Kendall begins talking about our plans for tonight and how she can’t wait to get in bed with me since it’s been “a while” since we last had sex.

 

As she continues on, I zone her out as I look around in the hallway for Alaina, hoping she was walking to the bus or something but she is nowhere in sight. I wonder where she could have gone. I mean, she couldn’t have gone too far since we’re not allowed to leave school without signing out. She wouldn’t have gone home because her mum and Shane are working along with mine so it’s possible that she’s still here somewhere. Or maybe she did sign out but decided to walk home alone. If she did then I’m going to feel really bad. I just hope that after she gets over from what happened today, we can talk and try to make up again like we always do. I know I shouldn’t get my hopes up about us reconciling since our argument ended pretty badly but I still feel like everything is going to end up turning out okay.

 

“Harry…Harry!” I hear Kendall say.

 

“What?” I asked once I snap out of it.

 

“You’re not listening to me,” she sighed.

 

I roll my eyes and put away my French and Biology book into my locker before taking my Algebra book out to put into my backpack.

 

“Are you serious right now?” Kendall asked. “You seriously can’t be that upset about what happened between you and Alaina.

 

“Well…I am okay so just drop it!” I mumbled.

 

“Whatever but I know for a fact that you’ll get over it once we get to my house,” she smirked.

 

“Change of plans, I can’t hang out. I have to go home,” I said.

 

She scoffs.


“Are you fucking kidding me? Now you decide to cancel our plans just so you can go home?”

 

“I’m just not in the mood anymore, okay!” I replied.  

 

She sighs and rolls her eyes.

 

“No you just want to go home so you can cry over Alaina like a little baby. Just get over it, Harry. She’s gone! Now we can actually continue our relationship without that loser bugging us anymore,” she exclaimed.

 

I feel my blood beginning to boil with anger inside me and slam my locker shut before whipping my head over to look at her. Now she’s really getting me mad. I’ve been holding it in all day but now I feel like I’m ready to let it out but I know that won’t be good if I do. It would just make me look more like the bad person. She’s been criticizing Alaina all day today and I’ve had it. Now it’s time for me to put my foot down.

 

“You know what? I’m getting real sick and tired of you right now,” I seethed.

 

“Don’t act like you’re not happy about this!” she replied. “We’ve been waiting for Alaina to leave us alone for months now and it’s finally happened,”

 

Is she serious right now? I’m not the one that wanted Alaina to disappear. She’s the one that did. For past 4 months of her being here, she has been trying to get rid of Alaina just so she can have me all to herself and not worry about me leaving her for the girl that I actually love. It just proves that Kendall was always jealous of her but she never wanted to admit it.

 

“No, YOU wanted her to disappear, not me,” I snapped. “Ever since we started dating, you were the one that harassed her and made me ditch her for you until she couldn’t take it anymore because you just couldn’t stand the fact that she’s my best friend and I had a better relationship with her than I do with you!”

 

“See that’s why I wanted her to go away,” Kendall snarled.

 

“You know…I actually did like you. I really liked you a lot when we first started seeing each other. I thought you were such a nice person but in reality you’re just a stuck up, spoiled brat who doesn’t care about anyone but yourself,” I sighed.

 

“If you didn’t really have feelings for me then you wouldn’t have stuck around or gotten back together with me,” she sneered. “Just face it Harry, you don’t just like me, you love me but you just don’t want to admit it. And don’t try to deny it because you showed me a bunch of times and even said you loved me,”

 

She’s right. Except I don’t love her though. If I didn’t really like her then I wouldn’t have stuck around but the reason why I did was because I wanted to forget about my feelings for Alaina but it just made me feel even worse. No matter how many times we had sex, my feelings for my best friend would just grow even more until it legitimately hurt me inside. I know that’s wrong since I was supposed to be in a committed relationship with Kendall but I couldn’t help it.

 

“Look…I’m sorry it had to end this way but she had to realize that you care about me more than her. Just go home, do what you need to do, and once you’re back to the Harry Bear that I fell in love with, come to my house because I have a huge surprise waiting for you,” she smiled.

 

Before I could tell her anything, she gives me a quick kiss on the cheek before pinching my ass and walking away. Once she was gone, I couldn’t help but kick a locker, not caring if anyone saw it. God! What did I just get myself into? I hate myself. So much. When I finally calm down, I grab my bag off the floor and make my way out to my car. As I got out there, the buses were gone and the parking lot was almost empty because everyone pretty much left. Unlocking the door to my car, I throw my bag into the back seat before getting in the drivers seat and closing the door.

 

Then, I start my car and begin to drive home but I start to feel distracted. I can’t stop thinking about her. I can’t stop thinking about how I let the girl I love run away from me crying because she thought I chose my “girlfriend” instead of her, which is not true at all. I did choose her but I was too scared to even admit it because Kendall was right there. Even if she weren’t, Alaina still wouldn’t believe me due to how many times I played with her feelings. When she walked away from me, I knew I fucked up big time but I ran after her anyway.

 

Once I grabbed her and she turned around, I wanted to pull her into me and kiss her just to prove how I really felt. I didn’t care that Kendall was standing a few feet away, I wanted to do what I wanted to do for months but before I was even to make my move, Alaina said those hurtful words to me before walking away from me. I try to calm myself down as I continue to drive but the tears just continue to fill up in my eyes so I pull over on the side of the road and just put my face against the steering wheel, letting the tears fall.


I lost her.

 

I lost my best friend, the girl who I’m in love with and I don’t think I’m going to get her back again.

 

 

 

Alaina’s POV

 

I continue to sit on the bathroom floor in the stall trying to calm myself down from crying. It’s the end of the school day and I haven’t moved since because I just couldn’t stop crying. I just can’t believe this, my best friend since I was a baby, the guy that I’ve been in love with since I was 13 chose his girlfriend over me. Why the hell would he do that? She’s harassed me, threatened me, and treated me like shit but he still continued to be with her. Like why? What kind of best friend does that?

 

He barely knows this girl and yet he chooses her over me instead. If he doesn’t like her as a person then it’s obvious that he’s just staying with her to have sex, which is ridiculous. He was never like this before but after she came along, he’s been a totally different person. She literally changed my sweet, adorable, and loving best friend to a fucking jerk. I should have stayed away like she told me to but I couldn’t let her tell me what to so I continued to be around Harry even though she didn’t like it. She told me that I would regret it if I didn’t leave him alone but I didn’t think she was going to go this far. I never knew anyone who could be so cruel like her.

 

I did NOTHING to her and yet she still went out of her way to try and ruin my life all because I wouldn’t stay away from Harry. Who does she think she is? It just proved that she was jealous of me and couldn’t accept the fact that Harry and I had a great relationship. If that was her goal to try to take him away from me then she obviously succeeded. I lost my best friend all because of her and now I can’t get him back. God, I can’t believe her. She transferred to our school and all of a sudden felt like she owned the entire student body, thinking she can do whatever the fuck she wants just because she’s rich and the daughter of a woman who was married to a famous attorney.

 

I thought we were going to make up and actually become friends but I thought wrong. Suddenly, I jump with surprise in my spot when I hear the door open and close shut. I hear footsteps coming toward the stalls and I try to keep myself quiet so no one knows that I’m in here because who knows? It could be one of Kendall’s friends. No…it can’t be because they come into the bathroom as a group, not by themselves. The footsteps get closer and closer and I just pray that the person goes away.

 

“Alaina, I know you’re in here, I can see your backpack,” the person outside of my stall said.

 

I sigh with relief when I heard that familiar voice. Its just Becky, thank god. I thought it was someone else. Even though I’m glad that she’s in here, I still want to be alone.

 

“I just want to be alone, okay!” I sniffled.

 

“No…I’m not letting one of my best friends sit in the bathroom all by herself,” she exclaimed. “Come on, let me in,”

 

“I don’t want to talk to anyone. Just go!” I said.

 

I thought she was going to go away but I thought wrong when she kneels down and crawls under the stall door before coming over to sit by my against the wall. As much as I want to be alone, I’m kind of glad that she didn’t walk away like most people have done to me.

 

“How did you know I was in here?” I asked.

 

“I texted Harry asking where you were and he told me,” she said.

 

When she said his name, I feel my chest start to hurt. I don’t think I’ll be able to hear it ever again without feeling like that.

 

“So talk. Tell me, what’s wrong? Why are you in here?” she continued.

 

“He chose her over me, okay. So just drop it,”

 

She sighs and shakes her head.

 

“You know what, screw him. He played with your feelings for what…. 4 years now? He’s not worth it anymore. It just proves that he’s like most boys. They just fuck around with trashy girls like Kendall,”

 

No one knows how I feel about Harry, except for Becky. I didn't tell her or anything, she sort of figured it out while we were in middle school. She noticed how kind of envious I was when he was dating a girl, who was also his first girlfriend, from our homeroom at the time.  

 

“The fact that you used to be friends with her makes me laugh,” I chuckled.

 

“I know same, but at least I noticed that she wasn’t cool like I expected her to be,” she said.

 

“Like she barely even knows Harry and he barely even knows her. Why be with someone if you don’t know a lot of things about the person? I don’t understand at all,” I mumbled.

 

She shrugs. Of course she doesn’t know. I don’t think anyone knows why. It just makes me so angry that Harry chose to be with a trashy girl when they barely know anything about each other. I’ve known him longer than her and yet, he still chose her. He should be with me, someone who actually cares for him and has been there for him through everything. I was even there for him when his parents got divorced when we were 7. I remember I was at home and after he was told that his parents weren’t going to be together anymore, he ran away to my house because he didn’t want to be alone.

 

Since he didn’t want my mom to know he was there, he climbed up a tree that led to my bedroom window and I let him in. He was so upset that day and it was awful to see him like that. My mom didn’t know that he was over there until Anne called an hour later all worried. We both got in trouble that day. At the age of 7, I didn’t know why he came me but when I got older I began to understand why he came over that day. He came over all by himself because he knew that I would listen and hug him until he felt better. He had a lot of other friends that he could have went to but no, he came to me and he kept doing that until he started seeing Kendall. It just hurts how he chose his best friend over her.

 

“He’ll see the light, eventually,” Becky said. “Come on, I’ll take you home,”
 

I nod and we get up off the floor and walk out of the stall. Before walking out into the hallway, I decide to rinse my face a little with warm water at the sink. When I was done I look in the mirror and I still look a mess but it will do. I sigh as I grab my bag and then follow Becky out into the empty hallway. Thankfully everyone has gone home for the day because I don’t want anyone to see that I was crying. That would be embarrassing. When we get outside to Becky’s car, we get put our stuff in the back seat and soon we were off.

 

The ride to my house wasn’t quiet or anything, we listened to the radio a little and even talked some more too. I’m glad I have my second best friend here with me because I know that I wouldn’t be feeling a little better if it weren’t for her. Becky has been my best friend since kindergarten and she was always there for me as well if I ever needed it. I literally can’t thank her enough for dealing with me for the past 11 years. The car ride lasts a few more minutes and then she pulls into the driveway. Right away, I feel my stomach begin to churn with unease.

 

The last time I walked into my house alone, my uncle was there and I almost got myself killed. I don’t know if I should go inside or just wait with Becky until my mom and Shane come home because who knows what could happen again if she leaves me here by myself? My uncle probably found out that he didn’t kill me the last time so he’s probably back waiting for me so he can actually do it. No matter where I am, I still feel unsafe. I even felt like that at school today. I don’t think I’ll actually feel emotionally safe until I move next month.

 

“Alaina…” I hear Becky say.

 

I turn my head to look at her and she has a worried look on her face.

 

“Do you want me to stay?” she asked. “Because I will if you want me to,”

 

I want to say yes but at the same time I don’t want her to because I shouldn’t feel afraid being home. My uncle is gone and he’s never coming back.

 

“N-No…I’ll be fine,” I replied.

 

She nods and tells me to text her in an hour just so she doesn’t have to worry about me. I grab my stuff from the backseat of her car and then I go inside my house, closing and locking the door behind me. Right away, I start to feel anxious while being alone in my house. With my heart throbbing in my chest, I immediately begin searching the entire perimeter of my house just to make sure there are no break in’s. I even checked the basement, which I was hesitant to do at first but I did it.

 

Since there weren’t any signs, I begin to calm down a little and go upstairs to my bedroom so I can do my homework. After shutting my door behind me, I change into comfortable clothing and take my medicine before going over to my bed. Thankfully I don’t have that much to do tonight since I did most of my makeup work at the hospital. Before I start to do my work, I decide to text my mom to let her know that I’m safe at home so she doesn’t get worried while she’s at work. Grabbing my phone off my nightstand, I turn it on to unlock it but suddenly, my heart jumps out of my chest when I see the 3 notifications lined up on my lock screen:

 

2 missed calls,

 

1 voicemail,

 

And 5 text messages from Harry.

 

 

 

Author’s Note:

 

Sorry for the filler chapter. Next chapter is going to be better I promise. If you liked this, please review.

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