'From the scrapes and bruises, to the familiar abuses I'll kick and scream but it never changes anything.' Alibis by, Marianas Trench
I awake the next morning to my back facing Harry. He is still fast asleep with his arms are still around my waist still and his face is nuzzled into my neck. Last night, I felt so warm and comfy cuddled up next to him. That was the first time he's ever wanted to do something like that but I have to admit it was cute. I manage to sit up without waking him and I look around realizing that everyone else is awake. Great! They probably saw Harry and I cuddling. So now they might make fun of us when we go upstairs. Ugh, whatever. I guess I should just stay here until Harry wakes up. I don't make it want seem like I didn't want to be with him. So I just lie for a while and play Temple Run on my phone until he finally wakes up. Which wasn't for another half hour. I set my phone down and he sits up while rubbing his eyes. I never realized that he looks adorable when he does that.
"Morning sleepy head," I smiled.
"Morning," he replied. "Um.... sorry about last night,"
"It's fine. It was cute. And I have to admit that your arms are comfortable," I giggled.
He laughs a little back and picks his sweatshirt off the floor before putting it over his head, leaving the hood up. Damn, is he trying to kill me with his cuteness?
"You hungry?" I asked him.
"Yeah. I was just about to ask you the same thing," he replied as he gets out of bed.
"Don't forget to put your pants on," I said.
"Oops," he blushed with embarrassment.
I giggle again and wait for him to put his sweats on and then we go upstairs to get some food. We get up there I right away smell pancakes, bacon, and toast. Louis, Niall, Lauren, Bailey, and Becky are all sitting at the counter eating while laughing about something. Harry shuts the basement door and just then all of them look over at us with smirks on their faces. Great. They probably saw Harry and I cuddling.
"Morning love birds," Louis teased.
"Shut up," I laughed as I playfully nudge him and sit down next to Becky at the counter.
"So lad, did you get your beauty sleep?" Harry joked as he wraps his arm around Louis' shoulder.
"Hell yeah I did! Did you?" he asked.
Harry slaps him on the back of the head and the rest of laugh.
"Ow! What the fuck! Don't mess up my hair," Louis exclaimed as he fixes his hair.
He's such a priss. -In a good way- His hair is already messed up from sleeping. Why worry about it getting it messed up right now?
"Harry! Alaina! You're finally up. I just about to send Louis down to wake you two up," Anne said as she comes into the kitchen.
"Well, thank god you didn't. I'm not really in the mood to get woken up by a megaphone," Harry said jokingly as he gets up to get some breakfast.
Louis shoots Harry an 'evil' glare and he smirks back at him and puts some bacon and pancakes on his plate. He sets up my plate of food and gives me my plate before sitting back down beside me. I feel his hand brush against my leg and I feel butterflies in my stomach. Why is this happening to me all of a sudden? Whenever he touches me, I never get this feeling. This is so weird. I've been around him for so long and I shouldn't get butterflies when I feel him touch me. He looks over at me with a cute smile on his face and moves his chair a little closer to mine like he always does.
"What are we going to do today?" he asked me.
"I don't know. We'll figure something out I guess," I replied as I eat some of my bacon.
"Its too bad that you guys can't spend the night again," he sighed.
Wait.... what? We can't spend the night again? Shit! That means...I have to go home. Where my uncle is going to be for the rest of winter break! He's going to hurt me! I just know he will. But I know Anne's rule though; No double sleepovers. Even though it’s just the weekend and she loves me like a daughter but if Harry and I want to have another sleepover then he has to come to my house. There's only one way for her to let me stay longer. I can't tell her about my uncle because all she's going to do is tell my mom and then my mom is going to get upset with me and try to kick my uncle out. I wish someone could take him away but I'm afraid if I tell and he finds out, he's going to hurt me even more or maybe kill me. He's threatened so many times that he'll kill me if I tell. I have to tell her. But I can't at the same time. I can't tell anybody. What am I going to do?
"See ya!" Becky said as she puts her bag over her shoulder before walking out with Louis.
"Bye," Harry and I said and she walks out the door.
Bailey, Lauren, and Niall left a few minutes after breakfast so after they left, Louis, Becky, Harry, and I just went downstairs and played video games for like an hour and then watched a few movies. Now that they're gone, its just Harry and I.
I managed Anne to let me stay another a few hours. I didn't really tell her why though. I just lied to her that my mom and my uncle are fighting and I didn't want to go home hearing them shouting. She seemed to believe me so she let me stay. Well, it wasn't really a total lie.
My uncle has been living in my house for a while now and it’s not great. Ever since he lost his house when he didn’t pay his bills, my mom decided to let him stay with us until he was able to sort things out. But sadly that’s not going so well. He’s either going to work or just sitting around our house trashing the place. Sometimes I would come home from school or Harry’s house finding beer cans and food all over living room floor and when my mom comes home finding the mess she get’s pissed which causes them to argue.
I’m surprised Anne hasn’t asked me a lot of questions yet because a lot of times she gets concerned when she knows if something is going on. She’s like a second mother to me and has been there ever since Harry and I were born. I’ve spent almost half of my life in her house with her, Des, Harry, and his older sister Gemma. I’m literally a third child to Anne and Des. That’s how close we are. After they got a divorce, it felt like I lost my dad again but thankfully Anne did her best to keep us happy and making sure I wasn’t in getting any trouble while my mom was working during the week. Then on the weekends, Harry and Gemma would spend it at my house while Anne took a break.
Raising the 3 of us on her own was tiring but she did it. Now that we’re older I can either stay home alone while my mom works or just crash at Harry’s for the night. After Gemma left for college a few years ago, I had to step up and help Anne out and so did Harry. Since she went off to New York City for school, she doesn’t come home much, except for the holidays, so I have to help Anne with some things. Sadly, Gemma didn’t come home for Christmas this year because she went to Des’ house in Pennsylvania.
"What?" I asked him.
"What do you mean 'what'?" he replied.
"You were staring at me like I had 2 heads or something,"
"Oh come on. I'm not stupid," he said.
I give him a confused look. Damn it! He knew I was lying. Well, of course he should know if I'm lying or not because he is my best friend. He always knows when something is up, even if I try to hide it.
"What are you talking about?" I asked him.
"I know something is up. Every time you lie your cheeks get pink and you stutter," he exclaimed.
"My cheeks always turn pink," I said.
"Yeah, when you lie,"
I sigh and put the cushions back on the couch and sit down before turning on the TV. Harry obviously knows that I lied to his mom about staying a little while longer. He knows I usually never do that but he's seemed to figure out that I was lying. I mean, Harry knows I'm lying because 1. I'm not a good liar and 2. (Yes, he's right) my cheeks turn pink and I stutter. It's not my fault that I don't want to go home. I'm trying to save myself from getting hurt by my crazy uncle and I know that I'm safe here.... well for now that is.
My mom might end up calling to look for me and send me home. She doesn't like it when I stay at Harry's house for more than a night.
Even though she works a lot but on the weekends she's off so she wants to spend time with me before she has to leave early on Monday morning. My mom is a doctor at one of the hospitals in my state so she's always working long hours every day. There are times when I don't see her because she's either at work or sleeping so it's kind of hard to do something with her all the time. It was the same thing when I was little but thankfully I had Anne to go to if I ever needed anything.
"Is everything okay?" Harry asked as he sits down beside me.
"Yeah. Why?" I asked.
"What made you want to stay longer?"
I sigh. He's still onto this? I really don't want to talk about it because then he's going start play 20 questions with me like he always does when I won't tell him what's going on.
"Nothing really. I just want to spend time with my best friend," I lied.
“Alaina. Tell me. I know when something is up," he said as he looks straight into my eyes. "It just that every time you're here you like never want to go home,"
"Nothing is wrong. Trust me," I said.
He nods and then we decide to go upstairs to get dressed. While thinking about all of this while going up to Harry's room, I start to realize that my uncle probably isn't going to get drunk or high tonight because he's got work tomorrow. I just want to tell Harry but I know he's going to react. Literally, he will. I know how upset he gets when something happens to a person that he cares about. He's not one of those brave boys that don't show emotion. He's a sensitive boy. And his dad hasn't really been around much to teach him how to be tough like a guy.
He's just going to go right ahead and tell his mom and then she'll tell my mom. Then I'll be dead meat. When we got into Harry's room, I get my clothes that are in a plastic box by his closet. This is like my second house so I got some of my clothes from home and I put them in a box just in case I need them when I spend the night. Harry lets me go take a shower first. I brush my teeth and then I get into the shower. I try to not take very long showers here because this isn't my house and I don't want to waste the warm water.
Once I was finished, I dry off and get dressed. I brush my hair and tie it up into a ponytail before walking out in the bedroom finding Harry lying on his bed, shirtless while playing on his phone. God, why does he have to be so damn attractive? He's starting to work out lately and he has a six-pack now. I realized that he has one until the summer since he walks around without his shirt.
"You going to shower?" I asked Harry.
"Yeah," he replied and gets up.
I sit on the bed and play on my phone for a while as I wait for him to get out of the shower. He usually takes long showers but it really doesn't bother me that much. Just then, I hear his beautiful singing voice through the bathroom door. He's singing like he always does. It's just beautiful. I heard him sing other times but I mostly 'make fun' of him for singing while he's in the shower. There are times when he sounds off key and it's just funny to hear. He finishes a few minutes later and he comes out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist, making my heart accelerate like a million.
"Close your eyes," he said.
I do that, knowing what he's doing, and wait until he tells me when to open. When I open my eyes and he's wearing his dark blue soccer sweats and sweatshirt with his last name and number on the back of his sweatshirt. That's my favorite clothing on him. He just looks so attractive.
"So, will you tell me now why you begged my mum to let you stay longer?" he asked at random.
I sigh and shake my head. He's still on to this? I really don't want to talk about it but he just knows that I'm lying. He's a smart boy. He sits down beside me on the bed and turns on his TV and flips through the channels. He's probably mad at me now.
When he's mad at me, he tries to 'ignore' me but most of the time it doesn't work but I guess it's working this time. I take one look at him and his jaw is clenched and his green eyes are dark like they always are when he looks pissed off.
"Are you mad at me?" I asked him.
He looks over at me as his face softens and his eyes look like they've brightened again.
"No, of course not. I just feel like you don't trust me," he replied and gives me a tight hug.
"I do trust you," I said. "All I'm saying is that nothing is wrong,"
Lying again. He seems to believe me and releases me from the hug and kisses the top of my head.
"If something was going on, you'd tell me right?" he asked as he looks at me straight into the eyes.
I nod and he gives me another quick hug and we watch TV together for the rest of the afternoon until it was time for me to leave. I really don't want to but I don't want my mom to make lectures that it's rude to make myself stay at someone's house when I'm not allowed to. Harry helps me pack up my stuff and then I put on my coat and my Uggs. I have to admit that I'm really nervous to go home. I just don't feel safe there.
I mean, I'm supposed to be safe in my own house right? Once I got downstairs, I walk over to the door with Harry behind me and I feel butterflies in my stomach. I really don't want to go home. I would do anything to stay here with Harry where I'm safe from getting hurt by my uncle. Before walking out the door, I turn around and give him a worried look. He gives me a hug and I grasp onto him tightly.
"Will you call me when you get home?" he asked me.
I nod and we release from the hug. I feel tears fill up in my eyes but I hold them back because I don't want to worry him. I know the real reason why he wants me to call him when I get home because he doesn't want me to call him just to say 'hi'. He wants me to call him so he can know that I'm okay.
"You okay?" he asked me.
"Yeah," I whispered, trying to not make my voice crack.
"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow,"
I nod again and put my bag over my shoulder and walk out the door to my car. I get in and turn it on, waiting for it to warm up a little before pulling out of the driveway. I drive slowly from all the ice and snow on the road and listen to some music. Just thinking about what might happen when I get home is giving me butterflies. It suddenly starts to get worse and I feel like I have puke. About 10 minutes later, I reach my house and I realize that my mom is still at work. Great! I look in the front window and I see that there aren't any lights on, except I see some lights coming from the TV. I get out of the car and grab my bag and slowly go inside the house.
I slowly open the door and step inside to hear the sound of football on the TV. Shit! My uncle is home. The sound is coming from the living room, which means I have to go up the stairs without waking him. I quietly take off my Uggs and slowly go into the living room and I find him on the couch asleep with a popcorn bowl tipped on the floor with tons of popcorn scattered on the floor. He's always trashing my house it's just disgusting! I feel my heart hammer out of my chest as I slowly tiptoe past him and begin to go upstairs. Creeeeeeaaaaakkkkkk went the middle stair, making my heart pound faster than ever.
"Jesus fucking Christ!" went my uncle.
Shit! I woke him up! I quickly go up the stairs and run into my bedroom but I hear footsteps behind me. I shut the door to my bedroom and I sit down on my bed praying that my uncle doesn't come in here to hit me! Or worse. Suddenly, l hear the doorknob jiggle and then the sound of my uncle's fist pounding against my door.
"Open this fucking door! NOW!" he shouted.
I don't move. If I open that door then he's just going to grab me and throw me down the stairs again but this time I might die. Then, I hear my door unlock and my door barges open. My uncle comes into the room with a blank expression on his face and slowly comes over to me. Before I got a chance to respond he grabs me by the hair and slams down onto the ground.
“What the hell is wrong with you? Waking me up at fucking 10 PM!" he shouted while kicking me in the stomach.
I whimper from the pain and he kicks me harder while calling me every curse word there is. This is what happens every night if I accidentally wake him up after 8:00 PM except this time he's not dragging me across the house and around the carpet in the living room giving my rug burns. After that, I couldn't get up from how bad it hurts.
"Get up!" he said.
I don't move. It hurts so bad to even move a muscle. He's hurt me worse before and I was able to get up but this time, I can't. My stomach hurt more than anything and it's hard for me to breathe. My uncle curses under his breath and grabs me by the hair again and slams me against the wall.
"I-I-I'm s-s-" I stuttered but he slaps me across the face.
I can feel it getting red and throbbing. What did I ever do to deserve this abuse? I feel tears fill up in my eyes but I try to hold them back so he doesn't hit me again. Every time I cry from the pain he gives me, he hurts me even more than ever and I seriously don't want that to happen.
"Don't ever wake me up again! You hear me?" he shouted at me.
I slowly nod and he lets go of me and walks out of my room, slamming the door behind me. I hear him go down the stairs and suddenly I hear the sound of his bedroom door slam shut as well. Thank god his room is down there so then I don't have to worry about going past it when I go downstairs in the morning while he's sleeping. I feel a tear roll down my cheek and I drag myself over to my bed and try to lift myself up there, but I can't. He hurt me too much for me to even lift myself up. I hug my knees and I start sobbing. I just want someone to help me, but I can't because I know that he might murder me in my sleep.
My mom doesn't even know about this and she doesn't need to. She's barely even home to protect me as it is. So if I tell her that my uncle is abusing me, she'll just freak out and kick my uncle out of the house and she'll barely might go to work because she'll be terrified that my uncle might come into the house and try to kill me. I quietly sob for about 20 minutes and then I hear the sound of my phone ring.
I slowly lift myself up, ignoring the pain and grab my phone off the bed, looking at the caller ID realizing that it's Harry calling me. Crap! I promised that I'd call him but since my uncle hurt me, I couldn't.
I quickly wipe my eyes and calm down a little before I answer. If he notices that I'm crying then he'll start playing 20 questions with me like he always does. I slide to answer and take a deep breath before putting the phone against my ear.
"Hey Lainey. Is everything alright?"
No! I want to say. I want to tell that I accidentally woke up my uncle and he got pissed off and hurt me. But I can't tell him. I don't want to get killed. My uncle was serious that he'll kill me if I told someone about him abusing me. He just doesn't want to go to prison. He's been there a bunch of times when he was out of high school and he does not want to go back there again. The cops have been watching him for years.
"Y-Yeah.... everything is fine," I replied trying not to stutter.
"You sure?" he asked, making me hear the sound of worry in his voice.
"Yes, I'm sure. I'm just tired,"
"Okay," he sighed.
Then, we drop the conversation and start talking about things. I never mentioned anything about my uncle. I was afraid it was going to slip out but thankfully nothing about him did. We stay on the phone for literally an hour talking and I start to feel better because I'm hearing Harry's voice. No matter how upset I feel, I always find the time to talk to Harry and he would always make me feel better. His voice is just the most comforting thing ever. I don't know why, I guess its just because of his British accent is what calms me down. By the time it was 11 o'clock, I lie down on my bed and snuggle under my covers, still talking to him. Suddenly, my eyes start to get heavy and I slowly start to fall asleep, forgetting that I didn't hang up on Harry.