Somber Soliloquy

A soliloquy is when an actor turns to the audience of a play and speaks his mind to them as to show his real time thought process and self reflection. This is just that in the play of my life.


1. Somber Soliloquy

Somber Soliloquy


Effortlessly born and raised, I stumbled into crazy days

Fat and lonely, on my own — even when I’m not alone

I never learned to love myself; I put my dreams upon the shelf

Still laughing, joking, hiding wounds, to loneliness I grew attuned


Sometimes I wish I wasn’t me, would I be better off; maybe. Probably. Certainly

Living life dishonestly: “Yes I’m fine, mum”, “I’m alright, mum”,

“I’d tell you if I wasn’t happy”.


Would I endure another fall? I soak my brain in alcohol

Will I soon have my curtain call? Would they take my picture off the wall?

To an empty room I’ll bow, just please don’t look at me right now

I’m pathetic, yes I know; I can see myself from the front row


Life is like a game of chess, the figures form a frantic mess

I strain my soul, try not to stress, but nonetheless I must confess

I’m scared of what will be my fate, to die alone, forgotten — checkmate

I was never suicidal yet I’m just sat here idle, as I watch myself deteriorate


I think I need to clear my head, so I light up a cigarette

From my mangled mind I’ve fled

A house of tears, the home of fears, these 19 years

I’ve spent existing, barely resisting, succumbing to my crazy ideas


Although I sleep my life away, these nightmares are all real

But this is not a cry for help; it’s merely how I feel

I don’t believe in God, ‘cause he don’t believe in me

But I vow to try and love myself and to live happily.

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