True or false?
7 in 10 girls believe that they are not good enough or don’t measure up in some way, including their looks, performance in school and relationships with friends and family members.
Also true, hot guys do not date unfashionable, average girls with 0 experience. It’s just not how the world works. This means that Jake is about a billion times more likely to go out with my best friend Lauryn than he is with me. Of course he is, she’s stunning and knows all about makeup and fashion and has had more boyfriends than there are films to do with The Avengers. Maybe that’s the reason that I’ve only had one annoyingly attention seeking boyfriend because I know more about Superhero films than I do about pop music and hairstyles. Let’s be honest that guy whom shall remain unnamed (as to remain me unashamed) was only with me for the attention it gave him and so I don’t like to count it as a relationship at all- don’t you have to be happy in a relationship?
“Do you think Jake’s hot?” Lauren asked me for the gazillianth time, I nodded and she laughed quickly saying “Oh no, competition!” in a jokey way. She hit my shoulder playfully as I sipped my hot chocolate, there was obviously no competition, for fuck’s sake I was wearing a t-shirt that had the Stark Industries logo on it. She quickly changed the conversation as a friend of hers, Olly walked towards us and sat down. I did’t involve myself too much in the conversation, not because I was thinking about Jake but because I couldn’t really relate to the topic of conversation. I’m not exactly the girl you talk to when you want to tell them about the guy you fucked last week to get over your ex boyfriend.
“He wasn’t even that good- bit on the small side...” she grimaced telling Olly the gory details.
“haha well just hope he doesn’t think you two are a thing now” Olly replied and I took that as a chance to chirp in, “Yeah haha that would be horrible!”
They gossiped some more as the number 7 bus arrived and I left to flash the bus driver my bus pass and stand among the wooly scarves and the audible headphone music of passengers who didn’t want to be disturbed.
Just as I was settling down on my sofa with a hot cup of tea, my phone lit up. It was our group chat, comprised of myself, Lauryn, Dan and of course Jake. I could be so bubbly and out going on the group chat, I had some really good banter but I couldn’t for the dear life of me talk on private message with anyone.
Lauryn: Guys, Ella can’t come see Harry Potter and the Cursed Child with me anymore, which one of u wanna come see it with me on 25th?????
Dan: already seeing it with my family :/
Jake: y can’t Ella see it with you?
ah yh sure I can props see it w/ u.
Lauryn: yay! ah she has some family thing to go to so :/
Jake: ah fair enough
Dan: Ella ur family is so mean- Harry Potter is way more important
Me: yh haha Ikr but I have no choice, have fun tho guys, I’ll just imagine it- I have the script
Lauren: not the same tho *send u will be missed gif*
Me: *sends heart emoji*
I ghosted the rest of the chat. Great, Jake and Lauryn were going to see Harry Potter and The Cursed Child and she would have all that alone time with him. This sucked. I sighed audibly as a my not so little fur ball of a cat, Thor jumped on the sofa beside me, purring as he rubbed his head on my arm. I thought about messaging Jake, as I often did, but then didn't because what was I going to say? How was Lauryn so confident? If it was’t for her I would have never spoken to Jake in my life. Not that I really talk to him, more he talks to me occasionally when he needs help from a ‘nerd’.
My mum walked into the room whilst on the phone to my dad and sat down, changing the channel from TLC to BBC, I threw my hands up in rejection before grabbing Thor from under his front legs and propping him up on his back legs.
“You prefer Say Yes To The Dress to Rip Off Britain, don’t you Thor” I said childishly but my mum was too busy discussing what was for dinner, “I forgot to take the chicken out of the freezer so we will have to have fish fingers, mash and peas- no I don’t know when I’m starting di- Hela can peel the poatatoes- it’s about time she learns how to make dinner!...” At the sound of my name I cradled Thor and went into the kitchen, there was no point arguing with my mum, she was stubborn as fuck. And Yeah Ella is short for Hela, who happens to be the Norse Godess of death, I know how morbid however my dad is a real history nut and he specialises in Norse mythology.
Lauryn called me and I put her on speaker as I washed my hands and started to peel potatoes- gross the potato-y odour would be on my hands for the rest of the night. “OMG me and Jake just had the best conversation about Harry Potter, he’s so cool and I just wanna get close to him, ya know?” she opened with, my reflection on the kitchen splash back rolled her eyes as I said “Oh yeah, what was it about, yeah he’s a nice guy”
“Yeah, nice to look at! We were just talking about when we read the books and which characters we liked best and things and omg his favourite character is Remus too and awh he’s so cute, I could talk to him forever”
“haha Remus is a great character but you can’t just like someone because they’re cute..”
“yeah obis, that’s why I wanna get close to him” she interrupted and I could imagine her leaning in to the phone all giggly whilst saying it, flipping her purple hair as she did.
“You mean you want to get wasted and use it as an excuse to kiss him” I said disapprovingly but she didn’t realise the change in my tone.
“Yeah whatever!” She laughed and we talked about the more mundane things as I peeled the last of the potatoes and refilled Thor’s bowl with his cat food.