I look at him.
I look at the audience.
I try to find answers.
I still can´t find her.
I need him to look at me.
My time is running out.
Why are none of them looking at me?
Why is there so many people in the audience tonight?
I am running out of breath.
I am not going to give up until I find her.
I am desperate by now.
All eyes are on me, but that´s not really working.
My head is spinning.
Where is she?
I am slowly falling by now. Am I giving up?
Did she even come as she promised?
There she is!
I have missed them so much.
The concert is finally over.
He is walking over here.
I take her hand with a smile because that´s all I can do to hide how my heart aches.
I give them a warm hug and leave with a sad smile full of moments and memories.
There is an invisible wall between them.
On one side, there´s Luke Hemmings paying his electric guitar, singing proudly the songs he wrote with his best friends.
While on the other side, there´s Genevive Anderson trying desperetly to return to her past because that´s all she ever needed.
Tears start to accumulate on Genevive´s eyes, her head spins, her hands start sweating, but her heart starts to pound again now that she has him in front on her.
And the memories come back…
Genevive´s Point of View
I could already feel the atmosphere turning tense and heavy.
Luke let out a harsh breath.
“I-I guess I should get going. Thank you for dinner again and I am sorry if I caused any inconvenience.” Luke says in his usual deep voice.
“Please find your way to the door.” My mother says in a sharp tone.
“I will.” He replies.
Luke gets up from the comfy chairs of my dining room, puts me his blazer on my little shoulders and leaves my house.
I finish my dinner quietly feeling ashamed by Luke.
Of course my parents wouldn’t like the type of person Luke is because he doesn’t have a good and professional job, he isn’t in a good university and he is in a band. He is far from what my parents want in a guy for me.
I am honestly mad. I mean, why is Luke that type of person? He needs to do better if he wants to keep me. Why is he not good enough? Why am I this stupid to fall in love with a no one in life?
I was just one more of those girls that are blown away by some good looks and in real life that´s not enough.
Luke is not enough.
I go to sleep feeling too ashamed.
The next day, I say to my parents that I am going to hang out with my friends, but I am just going to see Luke and give him his blazer.
“Hey.” I say to him.
“Hi.” Luke answers coldly.
“You shouldn’t be mad at me. I mean, I am the one that should be at you and I´m not. I even brought you your ugly blazer.” I reply.
“Why are you even mad? Because I am nothing or no one?” he says hurt.
“Yes, actually. I am ashamed of myself. I can´t believe I fell for you. You are nothing in life.”
“Well, then. I´m sorry for being nothing in life. I am sorry that I´m not rich like you and your family. I am sorry for not having a family to look up to. I am sorry for dreaming when I have nothing to hold onto. I am sorry for chasing a dream and a life.”
“You really should be. You have nothing in life to give me.”
“Then go ahead. Go and run to the arms of others. To the arm of those who can give you everything I can´t because clearly my feelings aren’t enough for you. And don’t think that I don’t know about you in the arms of others when I´m not around chasing myself.”
I now know how wrong I was and I regret every single thing I did and said to him.
I just need to talk with him, I need to explain him that I was wrong, that I´m sorry and that I just need him and not the fancy things anyone can give me.
I try to meet his eyes, but that never happens, he never looks at me as if he already knew that I was there and he just didn’t want to remember me after all the long days that have passed.
He will eventually see me. I mean, he has to because that’s what he always did when I went to see him perform with his band.
Everything is just like back then, right?
I try taking short little breaths to keep myself calm, but I can´t do anything to control it and just fail.
My head spins, my throat is sore, my legs hurt begging me to start running and my eyes hurt because I tried too hard saving my stupid and coward tears.
But, Michael and Calum see me and they wave at me with little smiles and I can´t help but smile back.
Heather and Camille are in the front row, of course. They are both smiling so big that anyone can see and notice how proud they are to see how the band has come so far.
On the other hand, Ashton is desperetly looking for someone too, probably Sandy. Maybe they finally decided to make things official after all these months.
Calum and Michael are smiling and laughing while joking around, playing their instruments in front of their girlfriends, like always.
Luke is different, he looks very mature and he just sings and has a good time with the audience, like he always has. He just looks so far away from me that it is even hard for me to imagine that we once had something before we ended things.
And I just stay there, desperetly waiting for him to finally look at me in those same soft and sweet blue eyes like he always used to.
Do you believe in second chances, Luke Hemmings?
Luke´s Point of View
Of course I already saw her.
But I hope she hasn’t noticed.
How could someone not know about her?
I mean, her smile could light the whole place.
Whenever I see her, the memories of what we were come back at me because I had to let her go.
“Luke, are you crazy?” Calum asked me surprised.
“Why?” I asked.
“Genevive would never go out with you.” Michael said entering the room with his girlfriend, Camille.
“Luke, Genevive is like the type of person that is going to marry someone rich from her work and have one son. Then, she will just live her life happy spending money.” Heather answered.
“No, she´s not.” I said back.
“Yes, she is.” Camille said.
“What if she said… yes?” I asked them in a playful tone.
“Then, you just got lucky and she wants something from you.” Camille added.
“What type of something?”
“Oh, you know. Typical shit white girls want. By the way, she does that every time nothing interesting happens in her life.” Heather replied.
“What type of shit?” I asked her curious.
“You know, like those shinny necklaces or perfumes and scarfs from European boutiques. In other words, things we can´t give to our girls. Well, except me because I found a high paying job.” Calum said.
“But, we don´t need those things.” Heather said to her boyfriend.
“Well, Genevive does.” Michael said.
“Yeah, she´s different.” Camille agreed.
“Then, I am very sorry to tell you, my friends, but Genevive and I are dating.” I said.
On the next day, Genevive and I went on one of our dates.
“I really liked that movie.” Genevive said once we were inside my car.
“Yeah, it was exciting!” I replied.
“We should go to this place this vacation. They serve you gold in all of your food and drinks. It´s amazing and expensive!” she said.
“Yeah, it sounds great.” I said awkwardly.
“Oh, I´m sorry. I totally forgot that you couldn´t afford that type of things.”
“Are you coming to the show this weekend?” I asked trying to change of subject.
“No, I can´t. I have a family meeting at my house. Family friends are coming over.”
“Maybe next time. But, I honestly don’t like to be hanging out with Heather and Camille. Oh, and specially that girl Sandy.” She said.
“But, I thought they were your friends.” I said.
“Well, they think they are my best friends, but I hate them because they are just too wild for me.”
“That´s just how we all are, including me.”
“Yeah, I know. That’s why I have my own friends and that’s the reason of why I don’t sit with you at school.”
That day changed everything because those words that she said to me made me realize that she wasn’t seeing and taking me for who I was.
The days passed and I decided to leave it all behind and give me some courage to end the relationship, but things got pretty messed up because I wasn’t the perfect boyfriend for Genevive and Genevive´s parents. I had only graduated from high school and I had no plans for my future because I only had plans about my band, my family wasn’t rich at all and my friends were bad influence because Genevive didn’t like them.
But, the day after, I actually finished the relationship after being called a no one a couple of times.
Sure, the heartbreak symptoms came just a few minutes after she left, after realizing the idea of being without her.
It was time to move on.
I keep singing the lyrics to Wherever You Are and before I even realize it, I am remembering her and my mind starts spinning around, and there she is again, but this time, my word actually stops completely.
She is just there enjoying our music and she is actually smiling watching with cuteness how Calum and Michael joke around with their girlfriends.
We could´ve been just like that…
Genevive´s Point of View
The concert soon comes to an end and I just stay there waiting for Heather and Camille to come over while I sing the last song they played at the show.
Sure, when Luke and I broke up, Heather, Camille, the guys and I had a big fight and I was left alone. But, days after thinking about it too much, I apologized to them. First, our relationship was hard, but they were soon the people I used to know.
The boys come out, but Luke is not there, and they find their way to their girlfriends.
Calum and Michael run to Heather and Camille as if it was the only thing they needed, while Ashton tries to talk to Sandy.
Then, Calum, Heather, Michael and Camille come over.
“Did you get him?” Heather asks.
“No, I don’t think so.” I reply.
“You´ll get him next time.” Camille says.
“I hope so.” I manage to say.
“Anyways, how was the concert?” Michael asks us.
“Oh, it was amazing! I can still feel the rush and the song is still stuck in my head. Oh, and I loved your guitar solo, Michael. But, of course, Calum yours was amazing too…” Heather starts talking a lot like always, but her words fade when I see Luke coming out from backstage.
He slowly walks and our eyes meet for a brief second and I can see regret, sadness and a couple of tears, but he just walks towards Ashton and Sandy, and they share a couple of words.
Then, Ashton comes over here with a serious face while Luke takes Sandy´s hand and they both walk backstage talking about everything.
My eyes start filling with tears and my heart stops pounding while the pain starts again.
“Hey, guys.” Ashton says with a little smile but with no energy at all.
“Hey.” Everyone else replies.
“Is something wrong?” Calum asks his friend.
“I guess so. Sandy just left with Luke.” Ashton answers.
We all stay quiet for a brief moment while Michael and Camille try to console me and Calum and Heather try talking with Ashton about the show to distract him.
“I have to go and I am pretty sure you guys have stuff to do together.” I manage to say.
“Yeah, thank you. But, hey. Look at the positive side. You can still have time for your pretty self. Who needs a guy when you are Genevive Anderson?” Heather says trying to cheer me up.
I say my goodbyes to my friends and leave the place smiling after hearing my friend´s comment, but the memories stay there and my smile demonstrates what I want to keep with myself forever from our relationship.
Luke´s Point of View
I throw my sweaty towel somewhere in our little backstage living room and walk towards door.
I open it and I see Sandy with Ashton and Genevive with my other friends.
I remember her sweet voice talking to me before going to sleep. I remember her small giggles and how cute she looked every time she was mad or annoyed by something, which was most of the times.
I look at her and our eyes meet, her eyes are full of regret, tiredness, tears, nervousness and of course, memories.
I keep my face serious and forget about the tears that are trying to take me away.
“You ready to go?” I ask Sandy once I get there.
“Luke, you should talk to Genevive. She…” Ashton starts saying.
“Ashton, we have to go. I guess we´ll talk later.” Sandy replies.
“Are you going to leave with him tonight?” He asks.
“We really have to go.” I say with hurry.
“Okay. Yeah, whatever.” Ashton says and leaves annoyed and I take her hand and we leave the place.
“Did you like the concert?” I ask her.
“Of course! I loved Wherever You Are. It went straight to my heart.” She says.
If she could only know that I dedicated that song to Genevive when I wrote it and at every show, especially tonight.
“I´m glad you did.”
“We should do this more often. Me going to your concert and leaving together at the end.”
“Um… yeah. Does that mean you would like to be my girlfriend?” I ask.
Sandy´s eyes light up with happiness and excitement and she hugs me strongly.
“Of course, Luke!” she screams excited.
This is me finding happiness.
This is the start of my new path.
“Sandy, I am very sorry.” Luke says.
“How could you? I really like you, Luke. Please.”
“There are certain things you let go when you shouldn’t and I need to go and get it back.”
“It was always about Genevive, wasn’t it? I was nothing compared to her! You just wanted to forget her.” Sandy screams in response to Luke.
“No, I really wanted to work this out with you, but Genevive keeps coming through my mind. I am very sorry, Sandy. I can´t keep doing this.”
“I hate you.” She replies angry.
“Believe me, I hate myself too.”
“But, can we still be… friends?” She asks sadly to Luke.
“I guess that´s the only thing we ever were.” He says.
Genevive´s Point of View
“So, when´s the wedding?” Heather asks again.
“November. You´re my maid of honor. You should know.” I reply.
“I know. I am very sorry. I have too many things in my head right now. Believe me, marriage life if not easy.” Heather says.
“But, you guys are meant to be. So, you´ll do just fine together.”
“Hey, I know this is going to sound bad, but Genevive, we can´t be your maid of honor and bridesmaid.” Heather says to me.
“What? Why?” I ask panicked.
“We don´t like the couple you make with him. Everything is just too fake for us. Maybe you should ask Sandy because we are done here.” Camille says.
“But don´t get us wrong. We would love to attend to your wedding because it’s your day and it comes only once in a lifetime, but I can´t prepare a fake wedding. You barely know the guy you´re marrying and I think that you should think about it again. I´ll see you at the wedding. I promise.” Heather says before leaving the apartment.
I take a deep breath.
Maybe I really shouldn’t marry him, but I really like him, I mean, he is the best I will ever get.
Maybe Luke is still on my mind, but, he never came for me when he had the opportunity and I need to move on.
I´m not going to stay my whole life waiting for him.
Besides, I am pretty sure that he has already moved on from me, from us…
The day’s pass.
My wedding day is tomorrow and I am already feeling nervous and confident at the same time.
I go to the living room, turn off my TV, grab a bottle of Evian water from the fridge getting ready to sleep but someone knocks my door.
I open the door annoyed, but I find myself in front of my own torture.
“Hi.” He says in a way deeper voice than I remembered.
I try to keep calm and I get mad all of a sudden.
“Can I help you with anything?” I ask coldly after I remember when he left with Sandy, my new maid of honor.
“Can we talk?” Luke asks.
“It depends on what you want to talk about.”
“Do you believe in second chances, Genevive Anderson?” he asks me the same words that I was asking him months ago.
Luke´s Point of View
My heart shrinks after her few words.
“I am sorry, Luke. But, I´ve moved on.” She says in a little voice.
“I am sorry. I am really sorry. I shouldn´t have… Please, just give another chance.” I start saying.
“I´m getting married tomorrow. Maybe you should come, everyone is going to be there. I mean, Michael, Camille, Heather, Calum and Ashton are going to be there tomorrow. You should come, it is going to be fun. Just like old days.” She says in a cruel voice.
“No, thank you. I have writing sessions and I should probably get going, it´s getting late. Sorry to have appeared all of a sudden. Good night.”
I leave and drive fast, like I have never had.
I try to get to my apartment.
When I get there, I close the door of my place loudly and I just put on my headphones after throwing almost all of the things I own, but the memories come back and I try to keep them away.
I take my pen and notebook, and I start writing…
Because that´s the only thing I can do and that´s what everyone does.
We all try to move on and let go what´s hurting us so bad because we can still see our own scars still bleeding, but on most of the times, we don’t care because the pain will keep us distracted from reality for a few years.