late nights

late night thoughts and such. never edited. any unfinished sentence or paragraph is an abandoned thought.


2. 9/3


without you. i don't think i'd like to be without you. everything is different. my tea isnt as hot, i feel bloated, my head aches, NONstop, my toes are freezing, ice cream isn't as cold. everything is different without you. so please, don't leave me. i don't think i could live. without you. 


your smile. your smile is contagious as hell. when you smile its like a bunch of daisies bloomed, its like a baby bird chirped for the first time, like a new pair glasses, shiny, perfect, no damage, pure. i love your smile. it could make the deaf hear symphonies, the blind see picasso's, the mute could speak tongues. i fucking love your smile.


man, how the fuck are you so good looking? how the fuck can you make such a cold hearted person like myself turn into a sauna? how the fuck can you give me motivation, inspiration and perspiration each time you kiss me? how the fuck can you be attracted to me when there's so many cute bitches with fleeked out eyebrows and skin tight dresses and big booties and expensive clothes and how, how the fuck can you like me, small bootie, crazy haired, busy eyebrowed me? how the fuck can you choose me?


they said "raise your hand if you want to die young" "raise your hand if you are lonely" "rise your hand if you are so fucking depressed that you can't barely find the energy to get out of bed" "raise your hand if you want to just fucking die" and i  raised my hand, every time. because i wanted to die young, i was lonely, i  was so fucking depressed that i  couldn't even get out of bed, i  wanted to fucking die. but then, just like every cliché, you came. and you just stumbled into my life and you, YOU, gave me a spark, YOU and YOU alone made me feel like i  want to love long and grow old and get little wrinkles in my face and you alone made me feel like i was worth something and you alone have my heart because you alone discovered my heart and you alone saved me. 


my love, why do you wander in the streets, rubbing your eyes like a child who's not had their afternoon nap? my love, why do you p 


fuck you for making me feel love. 
fuck you.
fuck this.
fuck that.
fuck love. 
fuck the world. 
fuck me. 


i would like to be fucked by you. i would like you to fuck me. to push me against the wall and run your hands up and down my body and leave marks on my neck. i would like you to leave no inch of my body undiscovered, i would like you explore every crack crevasse of my body, to leave me untouched. and i want you watch me walk in this tight dress and smack my ass because you know its yours and i want you to make sure i don't leave this house unfucked. i would like for you to not waste time love making, i  would just like to be roughly fucked. please? 


i've spent days and weeks and months and years trying to figure out how you have this effect on me. how you make me so miserable, how you m


darling, please love me like you've never before. please touch me like you've never touched. please kiss me like you've never kissed, please love me like you've never before.

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