The Devil's Vesper: Book Two of the Devil's Gospel

After losing her deal with the Devil, Naomi Hart finds herself married to the Devil and living in Hell. She now finds herself fighting a whole new battle; to try and get home to her real husband Robb, her friends and her Dad. But to do that, she has to find out why exactly Lucifer wanted her in the first place.
Lucifer has been plotting to bring the Apocalypse to Earth, and she plays a vital part in it.
Before she knows it, Naomi is thrown back to Earth and she has to find out a way to stop it, and return to her family.
The battle against Lucifer and his forces proves more difficult than Naomi could imagine, and with the fact she has to convince her family she is actually alive thrown in; she is in for a whole new fight.
Faced with overwhelming odds, Naomi needs to find Robb and get his help before time runs out and her entire existence is compromised, but with his belief in her diminished, Naomi’s battle seems even more difficult than she could have ever thought.

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40. Thirty-Nine

Naomi

 

    I sink myself in the bath, holding my breath and feeling the water cloud over me. I wonder if I kill myself now; just drown silently in here, never waking up. I wouldn’t have to give birth to this thing, I wouldn’t have to help Lucifer with the seal, I wouldn’t have to face death out of my control. It would work quite nicely if I could just die here, under my own control and means. I know then that I could finally see Robb again after all this time – only a month and a bit – but still, I would give absolutely anything to see him again, just once. I would just hold him for ages and never let go, I’d memorise him all over again, every little thing about him that I can see still with my eyes closed now, but what I wouldn’t give to just see him for real, in front of me, every inch I would kiss, memorise all over again so his image would be fresh in my mind. What I wouldn’t give to hear him say my name, what I wouldn’t give to have him kiss me one last time…

    “Nay? It’s Mia,” she knocks on the door. “Can I come in?”

    “I’m in the bath, Mia,” I say in an obvious tone.

    “You’re forgetting I’ve seen you naked before. Every time you’re drunk and can’t wrestle your clothes off, when we were kids… it’s nothing I don’t have.”

    “Fine, door’s unlocked,” I sigh and she sneaks in the door, sitting on the closed loo seat, looking at me with an expectant look.

    “Talk, now,” Mia demands and I roll my eyes, sinking lower into the bath before even beginning to think of the answer. How do I even begin to explain what happened between Isaac and I just now?

    “Nay, I’m not even joking. What I just witnessed… I can’t even begin to… what the fuck happened? You two are best friends. Robb was his best friend, he’s your best friend… what the fuck?” Mia asks. I sigh and roll my eyes.

    “Okay, okay, okay,” I give in and look at her from the bath. She raises her eyebrows in waiting of the explanation. “A couple of weeks ago, Isaac admitted to me that he was basically in love with me. Don’t ask me why he told me then, but he did. He basically said he didn’t tell me for anything to happen, but if anything should happen to either of us, or the apocalypse happened, he wanted me to know. Apparently he didn’t want to die and not have me know. Even though I’ve known for, like, ever, but that’s not the point.”

    “And you thought you’d kiss him, now, two weeks later?” she asks bitterly.

    “All right, I haven’t fucking finished yet,” I say, giving her a filthy look. What the Hell has gotten into her blood stream and died?

    “I’m really confused right now, so yeah, please, finish, Nay,” she says.

    “Basically, today, I told him that I’d never be over Robb, ever in my life. I’ve never been with anyone but Robb, so I had no idea how I felt after he told me that, and it was just weird. He started blaming himself and crying. I went to give him a hug, and it just… it just happened, Mia. I have nothing more in the way of explanation, it just happened. One of those literally in the moment things. I don’t know, I literally have no idea,” I say with a shrug. I watch her expression even out.

    “And that was it? You’re not sleeping with him are you?”

    I laugh out loud at that idea. The hell? “You expect me to sleep with anyone when I’m like this? Honestly, Mia. I wouldn’t even sleep with Robb like this, the bump is so… no I’m not sleeping with anyone right now, you got no problems in that department.”

    “I’m just checking. You two are best friends, I’m not dealing with that fucking fall out as well as this shit, okay?” Mia says. “Plus, I don’t want either of you to get hurt. You or him, or both, or whatever. I’m just done with the whole feeling thing right now.”

    “Mia, it was one kiss,” I say, giving her a look. She shrugs and relaxes back against the side and looks at me. “What?”

    “How are you, really? Honestly?” she asks. “With everything; the … thing in there, Lucifer, Robb… all of it? We are honestly worried about you right now, you seem to be fine, but I know you, Naomi Hart.”

    I smile genuinely; she is seriously amazing. I don’t know what I’d do without Mia right now. She can be a fucking nightmare, a pain in the arse and sometimes I hate her more than anything, but truly, she is the best thing that could’ve happened to me. Apart from Robb.

    “I’m okay. I think my tears have just dried. I haven’t got any left. It’s really hard, especially at night, you know, but then I remember that I managed to be without him for what I experienced as three months. It gets a little easier every day I think, but I don’t think I’ll ever be over it or him.” I admit, seeing my rings under the water.

    “And with the whole Lucifer and his child thing?”

    I look at her. “Let’s not discuss that, shall we?”

    “Nay, for crying out loud, talk to me. How can I help you without you talking to me about this shit? I don’t care if you’re falling apart, I need to know. I want to know. I don’t care if you’re happy about this fucking shit, I don’t care if you hate it and want to kill everyone and everything, just speak to me, will you?”

    I sigh, thinking of This Is Gospel by Panic! I was still dead when they toured here in November, that was a fucking shit. I’ll never get to see them live, god freaking damn it. I hate life.

    “You’ve been listening to This is Gospel again,” I say, unable to actually think about the child in my stomach. If it comes out and I actually get to have a child, I will make it love Brendon Urie, there is no way out of it. Any child I ever have, it’s trapped. Unlucky bugger.

    “Nay, I’m not fangirling with you right now, I am being serious.”

    I sigh and look away. “I really, really can’t… it’s shit, Mia. What more can I say? I have the fucking Devil’s child inside of me. I’m not being funny, but how can anyone begin describing that? I read online all these baby websites so I can get an idea of what to do and how it will feel and everything, but all I read is how brilliant being pregnant is, and how excited they are. Then I sit back and think about what the fuck is going on with my pregnancy. I can’t even go to a midwife because they have me down as one week and when they turn up… bam they see a nine month bump in their face. My husband is dead when all of these women are harking on and on about their fucking perfect partners who do midnight runs for ice cream or who massage their painful backs. I read about these babies who came out in like record time and I’m sitting here pregnant with the fucking Devil’s child. I’ll never get to breastfeed it, or sing it a lullaby, or hold it because it won’t even be a proper baby. The fuck do I explain that?”

    She looks at me in pure sympathy. “You just did.”

    I close my eyes. “Mia, we just have to get through this. I have to give birth to whatever this thing is, and we have to move on. Try to stop the sixth seal. If not, we have to stay away from him and keep him from me and the thing, if possible. He can’t bring the apocalypse. Or if he does, then we just die.”

    “We will stop this, Nay,” Mia says with certainty. I open my eyes and look at her sincere expression; determined and certain. She thinks we can do this.

    “I was just thinking; if I die, then he won’t have the apocalypse. If I died, I could join Robb.” I say suddenly and she scoffs.

    “You are not fucking dying again. You won’t do that to me, Nicole or Isaac. I won’t let you,” she says.

    “If I died, there’d be no… thing, there would be no me to unlock this seal thing, no apocalypse. Robb won’t be alone wherever he is, no doubt Hell because of Lucifer. It would work, Mia,” I say.

    “No.”

    I sigh and shrug. “Whatever. Now, can I get out?”

    “Sure,” she nods and sneaks back out of the bathroom, leaving me to think for a minute. The Hell have I just done; kissing Isaac, confusing my entire brain about what the Hell I’m feeling, technically cheating on Robb…

    All I know for definite: I don’t want to give birth to a fucking alien, and I miss Robb.

    Something else I know for definite: if I die, this shit doesn’t have to happen. But then again; if I live, I could stop the Devil equally. If I live, I can see my friends win and live their lives. If I live, I can carry on like I know Robb would want me to.

    If I die, I see Robb. If I die, I might end up in Hell.

    Everything in my mind is just contradicting itself and it’s so bloody confusing. I don’t know what I want anymore, I don’t know what is best, what is good and what I don’t want anymore.

 

    “What the Hell do we do?” Isaac panics.

    “You get me some fucking hot water, towels and lots of them, and some bowls in case she’s sick. I don’t know, what else, Nay?” Mia panics and looks at me. I breathe through the pain, knowing this is it. Well, that and the fact that there’s my waters all over the damn bathroom floor.

    “Uh… water for me to drink, I don’t know, where’s Nicole?” I ask.

    “On her way,” Isaac says.

    “Good. Now start getting shit together and I’ll stay with her. It’s probably best to do it here, right Nay? Do you want a bath? We can have a water birth if you want?” Mia asks, calming down. I can still see the panic in her eyes.

    I nod. “Yeah, that might ease the pain.” Mia nods and leans over to start the bath. I watch her with a small smile. I don’t understand how I could’ve been absolutely fine this time yesterday in the bath chatting to Mia, and then the next, I wake up at four in the morning in absolute agony. I made it here and then… bam, my waters broke. Fucking annoying shit. I’m so tired.

    “I’m sorry,” I say.

    “The hell are you sorry for? You’re in labour, shit is meant to happen at… what is it now like half four in the morning? Nature for ya,” she says with a smile.

    “Not that, I meant everything. I’m sorry for like, making friends with you way back when, and everything since then. The last thing you probably ever thought you could’ve been doing is helping me give birth on the floor of our bathroom and the baby is going to be the child of the Devil, huh?” I say with a small laugh.

    She laughs, putting the plug in the bath and turning back to me. “I wouldn’t have this any other way, Naomi. I’m gonna admit, watching you kiss Isaac was more of a shock than this. You two spoken about it yet?”

    “No, not yet. Probably won’t do now, after this. I’m surprised this hasn’t put him off.”

    “When you’re in love, you’re in love,” Mia shrugs and I wince in pain again.

    “This is shit. This is shit. This is… shit!” I complain, grabbing the side of the bath in pain. It suddenly eases enough for me to move into a better position when Isaac knocks on the door.

    “Yep!” Mia calls and opens the door, pulling the towel over my legs so he doesn’t see anything.

    “Towels,” he passes some over. “I brought a pillow as well, to help her back.”

    “Thanks,” I wince and I put it behind me to prop me right up.

    “And water,” he comes in and places it beside Mia, who puts her hair back in a bun. “And here’s your drink.” I take the cup from him and take a small sip. “You need anything else? You want me to go or stay?”

    I smile at him and he moves the cup so I don’t knock it over. “You’re fine. Do whatever you want.”

    Isaac looks from the bath, to Mia and then to me and shakes his head. “I think I’ll hold the fort down, wait for Nicole. Yell if you need me though.”

    “I will do,” I agree and he nods and exits, shutting the door behind him. I look at Mia as she tampers with the bath temperature. She turns back and looks at me, looking like she wants to ask something. “What is it?”

    “I wanna ask you something,” she announces.

    “I know, you forget I know the look on your face when you want something,” I say with a small laugh, clutching at my belly. It’s like one minute there’s nothing, the next the pain is so fucking intense and the next is the pain that I can just about tolerate.

    “How do you really feel about Isaac?” she asks and I roll my eyes, breathing through the contraction. “Obviously, have your contraction first and then tell me, priorities and everything.” I smile even through the pain.

    “How do I know when to push?” I ask.

    “I read up on it, and apparently, you’ll get the feeling, you’ll know when it happens and apparently you’ll feel the baby’s head on your pelvis or something like that,” Mia says, looking like she’d memorised the page she read that from. I smile at her as the pain surpasses.

    “In answer to your question, I have absolutely no fucking idea,” I say. “He’s still my best friend whatever happens. I think I’m too preoccupied with this to even think about it anymore.”

    “Fair enough,” Mia shrugs, stopping the bath. “This is ready for whenever you are, honey.”

    I stop moving and look at her. “Did you just… call me honey?”

    “I did.  I think it suits you in a weird kind of way.”

    “Fuck you,” I say and she gives me her hand so I can get up and get into the bath.

 

    “Robb should be here,” I weep into Mia’s arm. My belly is submerged under the warm water while my head is leaning on Mia’s arm. My entire body just shakes and craves, needing Robb here, even if I don’t even have his hand to hold, just knowing he would’ve been here would’ve been good enough for me. I miss him like fucking mad and it’s beginning to get to me now.

    “Hey, Nay, it’s all right,” Mia shushes me, stroking my hair slowly. Mia herself is comforting, but she’s not, at the end of the day, Robb.

    “He should be here, he should be panicking or drinking beer or already pissed and in bed. I don’t care, he should be here,” I sob, my entire body tensing and shaking. “I’m so fucking tired.”

    “It’s okay, it’s okay,” she soothes, just as the door creaks open and Nicole walks in.

    “Hey guys,” she says quietly, crouching beside Mia. “Isaac sent me in with this.” I look up from Mia properly and see she’s brought in Robb’s iPod. “He said not to question it, but just listen. Here.”

    I take the earphones from her and put them in, not hearing anything for a second. She suddenly presses something and I hear it:

    ‘Hey Nay, it’s me, Robb. I know this is probably weird, ‘cause this is fucking weird for me, but just… go with it. I’m recording this, knowing I’m gonna die soon. I know if I said that to you now, while you’re in bed asleep … whatever, that’s not important. What’s important is that I’ve recorded this and given it to Isaac to give to you when you’re in labour. I know that it’s a long shot, given what’s going on right now with the apocalypse and Lucifer and shit, but whatever. This is for your labour because I know that I’m going to die soon. We both know Lucifer wants me dead, and he’s promised to do it next time he turns up, but if you’re listening to this and I’m not there, then obviously, Lucifer got what he always wanted. Anyway, moving on from that complete shit… I want you to know, Nay, that I love you. I love you more than anything else in this whole world. More than my own life, more than anything I could possibly love ever. I know that you will be the best mother in the entire world. You’re loving, kind, generous, selfless and I know you will love that child more than anything living in this world.

    I know you’ll be missing me, Nay, and I know wherever I’ll be going, I’ll be missing you like fucking crazy, but at the end of the day, remember that I might not be with you in person right now, but I’m with you in spirit, in your heart and I’ll be watching. Not in the creepy arse sort of way, but I’ll be looking down, or up, at you, and I’ll be so proud of you. I even bet you’re looking beautiful right now; you’ll be in pain and ridiculously tired, but I can just imagine you with your little swollen belly and your beautiful face….”

    “I can’t listen to this anymore,” I sob, pausing it. “I can’t… he should fucking be here.”

    “Nay, you need to calm the fuck down, you’re making it worse for yourself by getting stressed out,” Nicole snaps and I look at her in shock. “Listen to the rest of it and calm down. You need to get through this, you hear me?”

    I nod at her and put the earphones back in. Nicole takes the iPod and presses play:

    “…I know you will be wonderful, Naomi. I can imagine it. You have no idea how much I would want to be there for you, to hold your hand and to smooth your hair and your face, but I know what is going to happen. And I know you’ll deny it, but you’ll have to face it one day, Nay, and if you’re listening to this, then I’m already gone. I know you won’t ever be over it, because I was never over it until you came back. But this time, I won’t be coming back like you did. You’ll learn to live on and survive, just like I did. But just know that I will never be gone from you. You will do this, and you can do this, just like I did. Just keep going, Nay, and whatever happens, just know that I’ll be proud of you. I love you more and more every single day, and I am proud of you so much. Keep going, for I’ll be there with you, guiding you through it. Please don’t keep mourning me forever, just carry on and think of me while you push that kid out. Look after him or her, and keep going. One day, when it’s truly your time, we’ll see each other again and we can carry on as if we never parted. Mia and Isaac will be there for you, keeping you going and keeping you in check. I love you Nay, I always have and always will. You changed my life for the better and I know I will forever be thankful and in love with you for it. Our time may have been short and certainly different, but we had the best one. I love you so much. You were my choice; you always were.”

    I sniff and hand Nicole back the earphones.

    “You feeling better?” Mia asks when a sudden strong urge comes over me.

    “I need to push.”

 

    There was literally no baby. I have nothing for all the effort I put in, after everything… there’s nothing.

    When I gave that final push, and I should’ve brought a baby into the world, all that came out was an entity. That’s the only way to describe it. It was like a small light, but it wasn’t a light… it was a thing. It came out and it went, it just disappeared, just as quickly as it came out.

    It was like Lucifer; an angel, but not an angel. It was a thing, an entity, a Devil. And after everything, after everything and all that time I was pregnant, I don’t even have a child. After knowing it had started as Robb’s baby, after knowing I had Robb’s child inside of me, growing and ripening and knowing it should have come out of me, all I have to show for it is nothing. Even my stomach has slimmed down to how it was before I grew a bump.

    The child that never was and never had been has gone and all I have to show for it is the bloodied towels that are now being washed. A light came out of me; an alien, a Devil. And we have absolutely no idea what is going to happen next.

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