I face him eventually, seeing the completely blank expression. Not even his eyes are lit up any longer. I don’t speak any more because I honestly have no idea what to say. I can’t refuse any longer, because he’ll just keep me in this clearing with him until I submit to him. If I don’t say anything, he can’t hold anything against me - like my police rights upstairs: “You do not have to say anything. But, it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be given in evidence.”
He finally meets my gaze and I watch the sea of desire return as he approaches me. I stay rooted to the spot, knowing he’ll do something to keep me there if I even try to move. Something about the way he’s looking at me now reminds me of the way he would approach me back on Earth when I was alive. He stands a mere few feet from me and I feel everything return to me in one crash: the way he makes my skin come alive with a touch, the way his lips send sparks around my body, the way his intense stare would drive me wild; it’s like every single one of those feelings have suddenly opened again, though this time there is zero control from him. This is wholly and entirely me.
“Naomi,” he says gently, taking a hand and stroking a strand of hair from my neck. My insides scream out in pleasure, needing his touch more than ever. “I have loved you since I walked into your bedroom on your birthday. I have wanted you ever since then, Naomi. Deal or no deal, and important to the apocalypse or not, I still feel the same. I want you for my wife, and now I have you, it is more than I could have ever imagined. I love you, Naomi Hart.”
“I…” I start but stop speaking. I look at him, searching his eyes for the truth. I see it there; everything he’s saying is true. But then I think of the times he would do this to me on Earth and how it was simply a seduction technique to get me to come down to Hell earlier than I’d dealt for.
“You what?” he asks quietly, putting his hand around my neck. It probably looks like he’s trying to strangle me with the one hand, but he’s merely touching my neck. I find my feet moving a step forward towards him, still searching in the vessel’s eyes. He pushes my head forward until I feel his warm breath blowing into my face, forcing icy shivers down my spine and across my body. He hasn’t had this effect on me since I kissed him for the first and last time. Even then he had control over me, but now, he has zero control and I can’t stop feeling like he has everything.
“I…” I stop again, not knowing what to say. If I say what is going on in my head it won’t make any sense at all, but if I say something else… I don’t even know any more.
“You…what? Do tell, Naomi,” Lucifer croons, putting his other hand on the base of my neck and the beginning of my chest. I recall the way he made my entire body sing when he would touch me, I feel the same sensations now, I remember feeling the need for him to kiss me, I remember the hunger I felt for him like a Hobbit needing his second breakfast, I remember everything, because standing with him like this now, it brings all of that back.
“I… you make me confused,” I say, narrowing my eyes and looking at his arm before looking back up at his eyes. They narrow in intrigue and a small smirk lights up his expression.
“Do tell me how, Naomi?” he asks, the brogue coming right out in his Scottish accent. I wonder what the Devil’s real voice sounds like as a Fallen Angel and not the Scottish brogue of Mark the vessel.
“Because I hate you, truly, yet now, you make me feel like I couldn’t live without you,” I say truthfully, unable to keep a lid on it.
“You wish to know why? It is because you, Naomi Hart, have feelings for me. Feelings you may not wish to have, feelings you wish you could put back to Robb, but still, they are feelings for me,” Lucifer says. “You feel like you should hate me more than anything after what you perceive me to have put you through, but even through that, you have feelings for me. Like the ones you feel for Robb, but for me also. You love me, Naomi, you just cannot and do not wish to admit to that.”
I can’t deny it. As much as I want to, he’s right, I can’t admit or deny the truth. I keep quiet as the hand he has on my neck is moved and he entwines my fingers with his. I don’t even make a move to stop him and I don’t deny him. I can’t. I have to keep him close.
Maybe it’s the fact I haven’t had this contact with anyone for three months now; from Robb or from Lucifer. I haven’t actually had any contact with anyone, not even a hug from my Dad, so maybe it’s that coming out in me that makes me need the Devil close? I don’t know.
But what I do know is that when he finally reaches his head down and presses his lips to mine, something becomes clear; the part of the puzzle I’ve been missing is finally put back. I need him, I want him. I know exactly who he is, what he’s done. I know and remember what he did to me, what he did to Robb, to Isaac and Naomi and to my Dad, yet equally, I don’t care in this moment, because all I can see, feel, hear and smell is Lucifer, and that’s exactly how it should stay in this moment, this one tiny insignificant moment to my life down here and up there. These moments down here are insignificant, in the long run. It doesn’t matter what happens down here, because it is upstairs that matters.
Though one thing still remains true; he is the Devil, and I’m still married upstairs. But still… nothing my mind tells me forces me apart from him.
“We will do well together, Naomi,” Lucifer whispers when he moves away, his words fall onto my skin, and I look up at him, seeing his burning eyes into mine. “We will bring unto Earth the apocalypse and it will be wonderful. Together we can rule over Earth when it is done.” I could almost laugh at his use of ‘unto’ – the rest of him speaks normally, albeit with a little of that posh-archaic tone, but that one word made the rest of his sentence sound weird.
I think about the two of us bringing the Apocalypse. I still want zero part in that shit, and I refuse to…
“We will be leaving Hell in the next few days,” he says and my entire body just quietly jolts with the news. Leaving Hell? That can only mean one thing…
“Where are we going?” I ask, still not making a move to remove his hands from me. I’m beginning to believe it is in fact because I haven’t had Robb here for the past three months that I like the feeling of someone else’s touch on me because as soon as he speaks ‘business’ I don’t want him like I did just now. But every single time I look at him, everything bad about him disappear and become insignificant, much like my time here. I’m not here to do anything else but survive, to get back home.
“To Earth,” Lucifer says. “We need to be there.” He has that cocky tone back, and the small smirk on his face. I could kick myself for doing this, but equally, I don’t regret a thing. I remember the times when he would tell me I’m like his addiction that he can’t kick. Maybe it’s the same for me; maybe he’s right, I don’t want to admit he is my drug, but yet, I can’t deny that fact either. He is the antidote; he makes things right again. He is my Robb down here. But he’s not him, and he never will be.
But we’re going back to Earth. Which means when I get there, I can find Robb, Mia and Isaac, and my Dad. It means I can at least try to get some normality back in my life, even if he does find out where I’ve gone or what I’m doing, I can at least see my husband and my best friends.
“And when we get there, we will begin bringing the apocalypse to Earth,” Lucifer finishes, a triumphant smile on his face. He leans down and crashes his kiss onto my lips, forcing me to respond or be taken a hold. I don’t quite understand how I can help with bringing the damned apocalypse to Earth, and I don’t get why he expects me to help. Surely, if he thought so highly of me as a tool, he would keep me down here where I can’t escape or whatever? Well, I’m not going to raise that point because if I stay here, I don’t get to see Robb again. But even through the thought of Robb, I find myself succumbing to the feelings I’ve managed to keep a reign on since I began having feelings for the Devil. I let him move me so my back is against the tree, all the while I match his kiss, and in the depth of my mind I know exactly where this is going. My head is cursing, wishing I had the self-control I should own and should be using, but equally, my desire and want for Lucifer is too powerful, especially knowing that I haven’t been in Robb’s presence for what might as well be a lifetime.
Robb would kill me. He would feel so betrayed at what I’m doing. Even though I am technically dead, I am still me, I am still Naomi. Death may have parted us legally, but I am still alive down here and soon I will be back upstairs where I belong. Maybe then, because of that, it makes what I’m doing with Lucifer okay and void. It doesn’t to me, in my head, but it does in the real world. And Robb would understand. After all, he won’t even know unless Lucifer brings it up. No doubt he will, the arse. But even so, I want this and I need this. I need to keep him on side, keep him near and close to me, even if that means having him as close as humanely possible.
I tighten my hold around Lucifer’s neck, keeping him close and giving him every shred of permission and control I own.