Don't say you love me

What happens when you fall in love with someone over the internet and he turns out to be the complete opposite of what he made you believe? When kisses and hugs turns to bruises and pain? When sweet nicknames turns to hurtful lies. When unconditionally love and trust gets tossed aside and replaced with toxic betrays.
"Don't say you love me"

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8. The picture

Justins perspectiv: 

We sat there on the grass for about an hour. Ashley stopped crying half an hour ago but she was still sad. Who could blame her? She was horrified. It made me feel uneasy. A couple of weeks ago she would have reacted the same way if it was me she saw. I felt incredibly lucky for getting a second chance , especially after seeing her reaction towards the guys. It was strong of her to actually give me one and I was so grateful for it. She made me want to be a better Justin.

"What do you want to do?" I asked her when the silence had lingered over us for to long.

"Is it okey if I go home? I just need to be by myself.." She said without looking at me.

"Of course it is" I told her and prepared to get up from the grass when she stopped me.

"Alone" she said and got up on her feet.

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked her a bit worried but she shook her head.

"No, I just want to be alone" she said. I wasn't totally convinced but I nodded.

"Okey.." I looked down and felt her hand through my hair.

"I'll talk to you later" she let her hand caress its way down my cheek. I nodded and closed my eyes, enjoying her touch, sadly it didn't last for long. Her hand disappeared and so did she.

Ashley's perspective:

I left Justin there. I just had to be alone. It was to much seeing those guys. And seeing them made me think about everything Justin had done. He wasn't like that at all anymore but scars didn't just disappear. I wasn't sure I was ever going to be able to erase those memory's but I hoped I would. Because I really enjoyed Justins company right now. He was good to me. It made me smile just to think about him, and as a warm feeling spread in my chest I felt a hard punch in my back and I fell to the ground.

"Well well well. Look who we got here" a, way to familiar, voice said. I closed my eyes trying to control the panic that was spreading in my body.

"Excuse me, don't you say hi? Huh?" Another one said a bit upset. My body started to shake.

"Hi.." I said in a low voice and felt a hard kick in my stomach that made me scream.

"Shut up bitch!" Taylor said and spat on me. The tears once again fell down my cheeks. He grabbed my hair and pulled it so that my face was turned to his.

"I hate you so fucking much" he told me and threw my head down in the grass. I was incredibly grateful that it wasn't pavement.

"Justin should be here now" the guys said to each other and laughed. I was happy he wasn't. I didn't want him to see this, he had come such a long way.

"Let's take photo and send to him so that he doesn't miss out on all of the fun" they said and I made myself as small as I possibly could. I heard a click and then laughter.

"He's gonna love this" they laughed.

"Please don't.." I said quietly, not opening my eyes. Everyone went quiet.

"What did you just say?" Taylor asked me.

"Please don't send it to him.." I said again a little bit louder this time and prepared for the consequences.

"I thought we had made it clear to you. You don't have a say, ever. You don't mean a shit. No one cares about you. You're a worthless little piece of shit and if you ever speak to us without being told to do so you're gonna regret it. Du you understand that?" He said and smacked my face. I cried and nodded.

"Good" he said and made a gesture to the other boys that they where leaving but not before I got one last kick in my face.

Whey where right. I was a little piece of shit.


Justin's perspective:

The house was empty when I came home. Why was that still a surprise to me? It had been empty since I was little. Just me.

I zapped between channels on the tv. Nothing really interested me. It was nothing I hadn't seen before. I spent my days in front of the tv, seeing other people made me feel less lonely. I stopped on a quiz show, those where my favorites. Not a lot of people knew it but I was kind of smart. I loved guessing the answers along with the other contestants and I was usually right. I put the remote on the table and placed my feet next to it. What is six hundred forty eight, times seven hundred and fifty three? It took me a minute to figure it out. Four hundred eighty seven thousand nine hundred and forty four.

I was right. If someone knew, they would've laughed. No one believed in me. Not even my mom.

My phone beeped. A message from Taylor. 

*Dude, look who we ran into today! To bad you missed it!*

I clicked at the photo and froze. My heart dropped. It was Ashley, beat up on the ground. My first impulse was to go over to Taylor and kick is ass but what good would've that do? It was Ashley I was concerned about. I hurried to the door threw my shoes on and I ran to Ashley's house. When I got there I knocked on the door. Ashley's mom answered and when she saw it was me she just opened the door and said.

"Upstairs"



I ran up the stairs and stopped outside Ashley's room to catch my breath. When I could breathe some what normal I knocked.

"Ashley?" I said hoping she would let me in.

"Justin go away" she said back to me through the door.

"I'm not going. Please just open the door" I wanted to see her. I had to see her. A couple of seconds past by before I heard footsteps getting closer. She opened the door and looked at me. I felt a sudden pain in my chest and how the tears burned in my eyes. Her face and her arms where bruised. One of the eyes slightly swollen.

"Ashley..." Was all I managed to say. She kept quiet but her eyes was now filled with tears as well. A few minutes went by before she said.

"I tried to ask them not to send you that photo. I'm sorry.." And with that said I pulled her in to a tight but careful hug and she hugged me back bursting in to tears.

"Don't ever say you're sorry. This was not your fault" I said trying to stay strong for her.

"They said that you would love the picture. That you missed all the fun. Did you love the picture Justin?" She asked me between sobs. I swallowed.

"Ashley, that was the worst thing I've seen my entire life. I wanted to kill Taylor. I wish that I walked with you. I would have them beat me up instead of you" I said. My hand was caressing her back gently.

"I don't want you to get hurt.." She whispered. It crushed me when she said that. It broke my heart. She didn't want me to get hurt but for years all I wanted was to se her getting hurt.

"I would go through torture for you.." I told her. She shook her head.

"No. You haven't known me long enough for it to be okey for you to say that" she said hugging me harder.

"I know I haven't known you that long but the time I have and the things I've done to you does give me the right to say that. And I mean I Ashley." I whispered in her ear. 

"I'm sorry they sent you that picture.. You've come so far.. I didn't want you to see that" she told me.

"Ashley, I'm sorry they hurt you. You have nothing to be sorry for, you didn't do anything wrong" I said and kissed her head. She nodded and we just stood there hugging each other for what felt like forever.

"Justin I'm tired and really need to be alone"she finally said. I looked down at her.

"Do you want me to leave?" I asked her and she nodded.

"Okey.." I said and let go of her. She looked at me and sobbed.

"Hey, don't cry my beautiful girl. They don't deserve your tears" I told her and wiped away her tears with my thumbs.

"Can I call you tomorrow?" I asked her and she nodded.

"Okey, good night princess" I kissed her forehead and she smiled a weak smile towards me.

"Good night Justin" she told me and closed her door as I walked downstairs again. I realized I still had my shoes on me. Guess I forgot to take them off. Ashley's mom walked out to me.

"Is she okey?" She asked me and I shook my head.

"No. But I'll do whatever I can to make her smile again" I assured her and she nodded with a smile on her lips.

"Do you want some tea?" She asked me. I got a bit taken aback by the question. Her mom and I hadn't really spoken with each other before.

"Yeah, sure I would love to" I answered her and took my shoes of.

"Come in" she said and walked in to the kitchen. I followed her and sat down at a chair.

"So, Justin. I've heard a lot about you" she said and poured some water in to a can.

"You have?" I asked and watched her as she placed the can on the stove. She turned around and looked at me.

"Yeah, not just good thing though" she said.

"Well, I didn't expect it to be anything good so I guess that's positive" I told her.

"Do you know how many times I wanted to walk over to you house and hurt you?" She asked me. I looked down.

"I can only imagine.." I said.

"What is it you want with my daughter now Justin?" She asked me and I looked up again. She was standing with her arms crossed over her chest.

"All I want is for her to be happy and I'm willing to do whatever it takes for it to happen" I told her and she looked pleased.

"Good, because she deserves nothing but the best" she said and I couldn't agree more.

"I'm giving her all that I've got" I said and she nodded.

"Lately she's been saying good things about you so you're dining something right" she said.

"She has? Like what?" I asked curiously.

"Well, she's been saying that you're kind and caring. And I know she considers you a friend and that's the biggest compliment you can ever get from her" she told me and I smiled when she did.

"She's the most sweet, caring and beautiful girl I've ever met and I feel extremely blessed that she's given me the chance to get to know her" I said and her mom looked pleased.

"She needs someone like you Justin. We don't have the easiest living situation or the easiest relationship and she needs someone to talk to. I assume she's told you about my problem and our past?" She asked me and I just nodded.

"I don't know what to do. I can see it in her eyes how disappointed she is" she sighed and poured the hot water in to two glasses. She put them on the table and gave me a tea bag.

"She isn't disappointed she just doesn't feel like she's your kid. She kind of feels the opposite, she have to take care of you when you should be taking care of her" that marked the beginning of a long conversation. We sat and talked for two hours about everything. We talked about Ashley, of course. We talked about me and my mom. We talked about her mothers alcohol problem and rehabs. I told her that Ashley was more than welcome to come and live with me during her rehab time and she appreciated that. We talked about their money situation and that she often had to see Ashley walk around hungry. We talked about everything and I was straight up honest with her and she was with me. No one got upset or angry.

"Justin you're a good kid and I recommend you to talk to your mom. I feel a lot more calm with you spending so much time with my daughter now" she told me.

"Like I said, I'm gonna give her everything thing that I've got. She's something special" I said and she agrees with me. I felt a lot more closer to Ashley now with everything her mom told me and I felt like I understood her better.

"I should go. There is something I really want to do for Ashley. Is it okey if I stop by later?" I asked her and she nodded telling me where the extra key was placed.

"Thank you and thank you so much for the tea" I opened the door and walked outside.

"You're welcome anytime Justin" she said and gave me a smile.

"Thank you" I said and she nodded and waved before she closed the door. Now there was only one thing left to do.

 

 

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Is it anyone who reads this? I'm considering stopping writing this story because I don't think that anyone is reading this

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