The next morning I got up and followed all of my morning routines. Got up, took a quick shower, got dressed, brushed my hair and my teeth, fixed my makeup, packed my things and was on my way to school.
I shot the door and locked it, then I made my way towards the sidewalk. It was beautiful outside. The sun was kissing my naked skin and left me with a warm feeling inside. The smell in the air was filled with wonderful scents such as flowers, trees, fresh cut grass and something else that I couldn't pin. The sky was clear blue without any trace of clouds. Simply a perfect day. I stuck my earplugs in to my ears and grabbed the phone out of my pocket. Just when I was about to choose a song something hard hit me in the back and I fell to the ground. My bag flew the other way and so did my phone. I hit my head against the pavement but my hands got between in protection. A scream left my lips. Slowly I sat up and looked at my hands, there was blood on them and I felt a sharp pain at my forehead. I heard someone scream.
"What the fuck?!?!" A voice yelled. I looked up and saw a figure about one meter in front of me. My eyes had a hard time focusing and my brain had a hard time getting things to stop spin.
"What...?" I said quiet, like as a whisper. Then I saw who it was and I automatically flinched out of pure fear.
"Watch where you're going bitch!" He shouted. I knew I was in a lot of pain, I was bleeding and something wasn't right with my head. I also knew that he was the one who had walked in to me but somehow I wanted to say I'm sorry. I wanted to brush the sand off his shoes, I wanted to bow in front of him, to tell him how sorry I was. I wanted to apologize for bleeding and for standing in his way when he was walking.
"I'm sorry..." I whispered and he got down to his knees in front of me.
"What the hell did you just say?" He asked me whit a tremendously lower voice. I didn't look at him, I didn't dare to. Under my time in high school, during everything I endured I'd learn to keep quiet and to avoid eye contact. Or else, trouble. Tears started to fall down my cheeks like a peaceful waterfall.
"I'm sorry" I said one more time and my voice failed me. He got up and turned away from me.
"You're always in the fucking way" I heard him say. The courage of looking at him finally came back to me and I watched him walk away. Something heavy rolled down on my eyelashes and it took me some time to realize that it was blood. I wiped the blood away with the backside of my hand.
"It's okey, I'm fine. Thank you" the words left my lips against my own will and I gathered my things that was laying all over the sidewalk.
A couple of hours late I found myself waiting in the principals office. After my accident this morning, I went home to clean up and fix the cut I got in my forehead. We didn't have the money to go see a doctor so I usually took care of that stuff myself. Although it did make me late for class and that's why I was sitting and waiting for the principal.
"Miss James, what are you doing in my office?" He asked me as he stepped in to the room. I handed him the note my teacher had written and he sat down.
"Late for class, okey. Why where you late?" He asked me and looked at me but I was looking down at my knees.
"I fell and hit my head" I said and shrugged.
"Another "accident" miss James?" He said suspiciously.
"I'm clumsy" I answered him and covered up the bruises at my arms. According to someone I was to ugly a couple of days ago and got beaten up because of it. Just a normal day in school.
"You have to stop being so clumsy" he told me and I looked away as my eyes teared up. As if I wanted to get beaten up because of how I looked, or how I spoke, or because of my grades, or how I acted, if I was in the way, if I wasn't in the way. Maybe it's hard to believe but I didn't want to walk around afraid all the time. Sadly enough, there was nothing I could do about it.
"Tell me about it" I answered him and he stood up again.
"Well I can clearly see that you got hurt this morning" he said pointing at my head.
"You can go" I got up from the chair and walked to the exit.
"Are you okey?" He added as I opened the big black door.
"I'm fine" was everything I said as left the room and slammed the door behind me. When I got out I kind of wished that I hadn't because in the waiting room someone waited for his turn. No one else but Justin. The guy that made my life a living hell. He looked up at me and started to laugh.
"Nice scar. Are they finally suspending you?" He asked with a mocking tone in his voice. I wanted to throw up.
"Shut up!" I told him as I walked pass him and out in the corridor. He was such a dick. The devil, he didn't care about anyone but himself. The clock rang and the corridor turned in to a storm of students. Lunch time. My favorite part of the day. A moment later I was sitting in the cafeteria with my food in front of me. Finally, I was starving. It felt like my stomach was eating on itself. Food wasn't anything that came naturally at my house. School food wasn't the best tasting food in the world but it filled my stomach. My thoughts got interrupted by an ocean of laughing. I didn't have to look to know who it was, instead I tried to look small, invisible but without success. Seconds later and someone was taking my tray away from me. Panic struck my body, no not my food. Punsh me, spitt on me, make me bleed, anything, but not my food.
"Heey look here, free food. Thank you geek" a guy named Taylor spoke up. I looked at him.
"Please not my food. I beg you" I said and the tears came back again. This tears, they always came in the wrong moment. The guys just laughed even more. Justin was sitting on the table and watched what was happening with humor in his eyes.
"Oh, you're begging. Guys, you heard? We can't take the food now, she's begging" Taylor said and Justin laughed loudly.
"Do you think we care if you're begging?" Justin asked and looked at me. My tears had find their way down my cheeks now and I met his eyes for the first time in forever.
"Please don't take my food" once again my voice failed me. Justin's laugh got lower and something changed in his eyes as he watched me. A new expression I've never seen before. He's eyes almost looked hazel brown, they've always looked black, soul less. These eyes had a little sparkle in them and some kind of emotion. He leaned closer to me and the same cold expression was back.
"Not my call" was the only thing he said and got up on his feet. For a second I thought he would give me my food back. How easy you can start to think different about someone.
"Come on" he said to the guys who hadn't stoped laughing. Taylor looked at me with the biggest grin and took a bite of my apple then they left and so did my chance of getting any food today.
When I got home I kicked my shoes of my feet and run up to my room. I threw myself on my bed and cried. I cried and cried and cried. Everything that had happened came out as tears and I was laying like that for hours.
I finally got interrupted when my computer sounded again. I sat it down on my knee and opened up the chat from yesterday.
(SomeoneEles43) *Hi there cutie, what's up?* It felt good talking to this guy yesterday, he didn't know me and I didn't know him. It would feel nice to have someone to rely on. I wiped away my tears and decided to answered him.
(Dreamy22) *What is wrong with me? Why does everyone hate me?*
(SomeoneEles43) *What? Who hates you baby? I don't hate you <3 What happened?*
(Dreamy22) *I don't want to talk about it. They'll do it again if they found out*
(SomeoneEles43) *You're scaring me. Do you want to call me?*
(Dreamy22) *I don't want you to know who I am*
(SomeoneEles43) *Call me here, we'll turn on the thing that changes the voices. What do you say?* I thought about it for a while. It would be kind of nice.
(Dreamy22) *Okey* The signal filled my room and I pushed the answer button.
"Hi" I said and tried my best to keep my voice steady.
"Hi princess, what happened?" He said on the other end and I burst in to tears again.