Don't say you love me

What happens when you fall in love with someone over the internet and he turns out to be the complete opposite of what he made you believe? When kisses and hugs turns to bruises and pain? When sweet nicknames turns to hurtful lies. When unconditionally love and trust gets tossed aside and replaced with toxic betrays. "Don't say you love me"

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1. Call me Clark

Hi, my name is Ashley. I’m an 18 year old girl who lives alone with my mother in a tiny white house in a country called Canada. My life contained nothing but struggles. My father walked out on me and my mother when I was five. To make a long story short, my mother got so beaten up by that accident, instead of turning to a person she turned to alcohol. I usually say that I lost my mom when I lost my dad. With that being said, I had to grow up in a really early age.

When I started high school everything got worse. There’s a group of, mostly, guys that love to make my life a living hell. My early school years wasn’t good either but I hit rock bottom when I started high school. I don’t have any friends. They, sorry, the guys made sure of it. No one wants to be near me, no one dares. If you’re going to see something positiv about that, I guess it’s my grades. Since I don’t have any friends I have a lot of free time doing my homework's and for studying. My biggest dream is to get in to a really good school somewhere far away from here.

 

I just got home from the store. My mom was asleep on the couch. A sad little smile made an entrance on my lips. Beside the couch was an empty bottle of vodka. A low sigh escaped my lips and I left the bag with groceries on the floor in the hallway as I walked in to the livingroom. I stroke her hair away from her face and wrapped her in a blanket. I remembered the first time I saw her like this, like I said, I was five and I actually thought she was dead. The panic that struck me was insane and intense, that night I cried for hours until I fell asleep holding my, at least what I thought, dead mothers hand. She woke up the next morning and we never really talked about that night again.

 

”Mom..” I said in a low voice and turned the TV off. 

”Why are you doing this to yourself?” I picked the empty vodka bottle up from the floor and went out in the hallway again. When she was sober she was the best mom you could ever imagine. We played a lot of board games and watched a lot of movies. She also always knew what to say when I was sad, she could always make me smile. Sadly enough, I never knew when that mom would appear.

 

I picked the groceries up from the floor and made my way towards the kitchen. Even though our house was really small it still felt fresh. I decorated it myself during the years, with money I had saved. The house had two floors. On the firs floor there was a kitchen, a living room and a toilet. On the second floor it was two bedrooms.

 

When I arrived in the kitchen the food went in the frige. When that was done I headed up to my room. I really needed some sleep. The wood underneath my feet cracked as I made my way up the stairs. The walls was white inside the house and the floors was light wood. I actually liked it. My room was the closest one to the stairs. Mom hardly used her room, she slept on the couch instead. My bedroom was pretty big, I had a bed, a bedside table, a desk, a tv and a wardrobe. I liked it. As I was taking my pyjamas on something beeped on my laptop and I jumped out of fear. My laptop never sounded like that. I walked over and looked at the screen. A message from *SomeoneEles43*. I frowned and opened the message.

 

(SomeoneEles43) *Hi Dreamy22 :)*

 

I sat down at my chair and, suspiciously, and typed a replay. Who was messing around with me now?

 

(Dreamy22) *Hi someoneelse*

 

(SomeoneEles43) *What are you dreaming about?*

I stared at the screen. What am I dreaming about? Is this a joke, can't they come up with anything better?

 

(Dreamy22) *Sorry?*

 

The person typed an quick answer.

 

(SomeoneEles43) *Your account name ;) What are you dreaming about princess?*

 

I looked at my name dreamy22. I had forgotten, no one ever wrote to me so why would I remember. At least they wouldn't write to me there, they wrote where everyone else could see it. No one knew about this name. I red the rest of the message and a warm feeling spred in my body, princess. It was not something I was used to being called. What are you dreaming about princess. I dreamt about a lot in life. I decided to go with it.

 

(Dreamy22) *What don’t I dream about? I dream about being happy*

 

(SomeoneEles43) *You’re not happy? :(*

 

(Dreamy22) *No I’m not*

 

(SomeoneEles43) *Why not, what’s wrong?*

 

(Dreamy22) *You don’t really want to know. You don’t care*

 

I waited tense at his answer. No one really wanted to know. Not psychologists, not teachers, not doktors. No one really cared, it was just a question everyone had to ask. And when I told them, nothing happened, after a while I learned to just say ''fine'' and move on.

 

(SomeoneEles43) *But I do care, talk with me. I want to, please :)*

 

A small smile appeared on my lips and we got in to a really deep conversation.

 

-

 

The time flew by and by the time I looked at the clock again an hour had gone by.

 

(SomeoneEles43) *I’m really sorry they're doing that to you, have you talked to your teachers?*

 

(Dreamy22) *They see it but they choose to look away…*

 

(SomeoneEles43) *I’m sorry sweetheart, you know, if I was there I would protect you. I would be you're super hero*

 

I laughed. A genuine laugh, I didn’t even remember the last time that happened.

 

(Dreamy22) *Thank you, that's cute. you made me laugh :)*

 

(SomeoneEles43) *Really? :D (You're cute) I would like to make you laugh again*

 

(Dreamy22) *You would? Well What do I call you? :)*

 

(SomeoneEles43) *I told you I wanted to be your super hero. So you can call me… I know, Clark ;)*

 

And there I was laughing again. He was really charming.

 

(Dreamy22) *Okey Clark ;) tonight you where my super hero. Thank you for listening :)*

 

(SomeoneEles43) *You don’t have to thank me baby. Now what do I call you? :)*

 

I looked around in my room. What was he going to call me, my notebook caught my eye.

 

(Dreamy22) *What about.. Melody*

 

(SomeoneEles43) *Clark and Melody, sounds perfect ;)*

 

(Dreamy22) *Yeah right :P Goodnight Clark :)*

 

(SomeoneEles43) *Goodnight Melody ;)*

 

I turned my computer off and looked at my clock. Shit it was late. I practically jumped in bed and fell asleep with a smile on my face.

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