Out of his shell

What if they never served on the same ship and never became the legendary crew Star Fleet regarded? What if they all met at a nursing home? What if it Spock was in a shell of his own? Much like Jim would be. And all it took was McCoy to be there to tow them both out as much as he will regret it.

Inspired by Jim Carrey's second parody of Star Trek in living color.


11. Eleven

Chekov and Hikaru were watering the plants including trimming the hedge outback. Spock's recent victory over Trelane in tennis that he finally participated in after being requested by Koloth. Trelane was pouting with his arms folded while on his lap was one of four black cats for the nursing home. This cat was named Beauty. Chekov was using a enlarged pair of clippers alongside Sulu. Yesterday, Spock had rescued Lassie. Lassie was likely chasing a rat. Romanov, the third cat, was in the death ward getting a nap. And Grimm was somewhere around the building.

"You never talk about your family," Chekov said. "What happened to yours?"

Sulu did not reply, at first.

"I used to be married to a man named Ben." Sulu said.

"Ah," Chekov said. "He must hawe been a lovely man."

"He was everything that was lovely," Sulu said. "I found out I was bisexual when I met him. I was dating one of my high school sweethearts. You heard of her: Greta Hilson. She was the one who fooled the Klingons into not killing her crew." Chekov had a smirk on his face as he recalled it. "I discovered Ben had been in the academy when we met on Starbase 1. He was a Botanist. When I came back, he had waited for me. Five years."

"Fiwe years. . ." Chekov said.

"We had a child together in 2271," Sulu said. "Demora Sulu. She went to Captain the USS Enterprise B after John Harriman stepped down as captain." Sulu sounded proud of her. "I lost Ben during a unexpected attack on the Excelsior. I managed to assign him on the Excelsior for the sake of being there. He wanted to be there. And I wanted him to be there." Chop. Chop. Chop. "Demora was next to go in 2264. Before that my mother and father passed away sixty-four years prior."

Chop. Chop. Chop.

"I am so sorry." Chekov said.

"I have several grandchildren but . . . my daughter's son went lost in space on the way to Risa," Sulu said. "That was before I came here." Sulu looked over in the direction of the Russian. "What about you?"

"Great granddaughter is in the academy," Chekov said. "That's the only family I have left."

"No, really, why are you here?" Sulu asked.

"Irumodic Syndrome." Chekov said.

Sulu looked over at Chekov, oddly, while chopping away at the hedge.

"I have known you for three years and I did not take you for having hallucinations." Sulu said.

"It komes when inkonwenient," Chekov said. "It bothered me during my duties as Admiral being head of sekurity." Chekov shrugged. "Peridaxon makes it easier to live with. I did not want to break when on duty. But it quickly became apparent that there were some minor side effects for Russians, oddly enough."

"And what is that?" Sulu asked.

"Obsessions over the smallest subject. Head ower heels into it." Chekov said. "Other than that it is a small side effect."

Sulu's eyebrows hunched forward.

"But how do you know it makes people obsess over the smallest things?" Sulu said.

"I read a study regarding those who were taking it." Chekov said.

"A study." Sulu said.

"Affirmative." Chekov said.

"Pasha, you do realize that not all the studies are true. Right?" Sulu asked.

"This one is." Chekov said.

"Of course it is." Sulu said.

"Did you notice Mister Spock was glowing this morning?" Chekov asked.

Sulu paused, thinking back.

"No," Sulu said. "I did not. . ." He turned his head in the direction of Chekov. "You are not thinking . . ."

"Not really," Chekov said. "I think he got some good news about his family."

"Family news is always good news." Sulu said.

"Well,almost always." Chekov said.

"Right." Sulu said.

"I can't help but think if we had serwed on the Enterprise at the same time . . ." Chekov said.

"You would have likely become my best man at my wedding." Sulu said.

"Mine too!" Chekov said.

Nurse Chapel came out of the doorway. He had his arms folded and did not seem to be pleased.

"Hey Chulu!" Chapel said.

Their heads turned. Chekov lowered the clippers as did Sulu. They had seen this reaction from the man numerous times before. The first time was when they rallied up everyone except for the silent one at the patio for a party. The patio man just didn't reply except Chekov put a party hat on the man's head just for shizs and giggles and to make the atmosphere a little more fun. It took some of Chekov's skill to hack into the replicator and replace that morning's menu with cake. With vegetable frosting. Uhura volunteered to help and acted as a distraction with M'Benga.

"Fourth floor's balconies are overrun in weeds. I suggested you two to take care of it instead of a hired gardener." There was a wide grin appearing on the men's faces. "I do not want to hear the two of you bringing potted plants up there and forget to put them back on the first floor. Is that clear?"

"Yes sir." The two men said, with a nod.

"When do you think you will be able to get to it?" Chapel asked.

"Estimated time of arrival would be ten minutes and thirty-three seconds." Chekov said.

"Don't weed around the pool." Chapel said.

"What makes you think we would weed around the pool?" Sulu asked.

"This weed is one of the kind that send most of the nurses screaming." Chapel said. "It's all ready gotten through the door. Those usually on the fourth floor are on the third floor due to it spreading. We don't know how it climbed up to the balcony of the building but we are currently investigating it."

"Fiwe minutes." Chekov said.

"All right, boys." Chapel said, walking right back in.

"We are going to need three buckets and some music playing in the background." Sulu said.

"I know what exactly to pick." Chekov said.

Sulu looked over toward Chekov.

"What song?" Sulu asked.

Our scene transition shows them walking toward a turbo lift walking past McCoy and Uhura working on a crossword puzzle. Spock is meditating in the shared quarters he has with McCoy most likely considering the appropriate way to request McCoy's help in some part of this grand plan he had to draw the turtle out of its shell. Marla was sitting alone watching TV alongside a red shirt who had Beauty in his lap.

"Oh, you know." Chekov replied.

The door opened before them.

"No, I don't." The two went into the turbo lift.

A familiar beat came over.

"When a liwing, sapient weed reaches toward the doors, there is only one song that is up for it." Chekov replied.

It took only a second for Sulu to realize.

"Oh!" Sulu said. "Good choice."

Bad to the Bone by George Thorogood & The Destroyers played drawing the attention of mostly everyone except for the others who didn't care about it. Harden looked up from her pad covering her ears seemingly annoyed. The doors closed on the two buddies. Sulu was the one to give the order for the floor number. And when the door opened, all they could see was long green vines everywhere. They were moving and twisting some of them around the legs of the tables. The two men shared a glance together with a raised unanimous eyebrow. The two men held up their clippers then dove straight in to the hall.


The fifth night, McCoy awoke with a startle. He had a strange dream of arguing with a much younger Spock regarding leaving someone behind and not returning to see if they were still alive. They both had turned toward the chief engineer for advice regarding the split decision since the captain as it appeared was gone. He awoke when the CEO opened his mouth to speak. McCoy wiped a bead of sweat off his brow then looked over to see the Vulcan was fast asleep under the blankets.

McCoy sighed, relieved.

No more Spock being in distress when McCoy woke up.

. . . Hopefully.

McCoy fell back onto the bed and drifted back to sleep thinking about the events of tomorrow that were planned by Spock.

It felt good to help a Vulcan.


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