Out of his shell

What if they never served on the same ship and never became the legendary crew Star Fleet regarded? What if they all met at a nursing home? What if it Spock was in a shell of his own? Much like Jim would be. And all it took was McCoy to be there to tow them both out as much as he will regret it.

Inspired by Jim Carrey's second parody of Star Trek in living color.


27. 27

Nurse Rand reportedly told Jim that the nursing home didn't get much death with one month let alone two despite there being a death ward. People slowly died, that's how it worked since the age of time, in their weakened feeble states. He hadn't noticed time fly by so fast until Spock came around. He saw the brand new technology of a different era. Jim saw how Star Fleet progressed since the last time he had served in it. It had been three weeks and one day since McCoy went to trial. What was taking the doctor so long, anyway? Nurse Rand had said there was difficulties with the hearings and that the doctor was fine but never-the-less furious about it. Jim noticed in the Vulcan's eyes there was the shining emotion of aching during breakfast on the fifth day of the first week that McCoy had been gone. Sadness for another being gone for so long. It had been years since Jim last seen that.

Whenever Jim came down to the dwarf sized holoprogram Bethany, his knees made a cracking sound. The sound of his bones being unused to being put into this position. It was starting to become painful. Jim felt thankful that he could watch Spock be a lawyer. In a room full of holoprograms. Do his worst attempt at it, his best attempt, that is or that is at least how Spock phrased it. He was doing a pretty good job himself slaughtering opposing council's story imploring to the jury's conscience and statistics. If Jim was a holoprogram he would have thought Spock was damn good at his profession. Spock did plenty of these 'Longies' on the holodeck that gave Jim the impression he had been practicing. If Bones were here, he probably would say "The Ambassador's been practicin' to bore you to death. That is what!"

Now, here they were standing on the balcony of Crane,Pool, and Schmidt. They had selected a off-screen case that was never mentioned or brought up. Non-canon essentially. This occurred before the firm went broke. Before Sack came into the picture. Before Claire left the firm including her husband. Jim didn't exactly have a good memory of the rest of the holoprograms on the holodeck. He needed to pause in the middle of the program, ask Spock the name of the lawyers he was speaking with (A little forgetful on names, but never Shirley and Paul), then resume the holodeck adventure. Jim sitting in the white chair that had a electronic toy cigar that emit smoke out giving the impression that it was being used.

"Sorry for being late," Spock came through the doors earning a ahead turn from Jim. "I had . . some business to attend."

"Old flame?" Jim asked.

"You can say that." Spock said.

"Alan," Jim said. "Are you. . . Er. . ." Denny would have a tough time asking this. And saying it out loud would be inconceivable. "I am not gay."

Spock sat down alongside Jim into his own chair pouring water that was designed to look like scotch into the glass.

"Of course you are," Spock said, closing the bottle. He was in a blue suit that was not buttoned up. "We have come across this topic three times. And each time we have come to the resolution that you are, under any circumstance, not gay."

"Are you. . ." Jim looked over toward Spock. "I just want the air to be clear between us."

"Denny," Spock said. "You know the answer. I wouldn't put our friendship on that."

"That you like everyone?" Jim asked.

"Yes," Spock said. "I like anyone who is deadbeat attractive and can stand my magnificent long rants."

Jim laughed.

"You had plenty of women for that." Jim said.

"Yes, I did." Spock said.

"And you dumped every one of them." Jim said.

"Long legs." Spock said.

"Long hair." Jim said.

"Dark eyelashes." Spock said.

"Perfect head." Jim said.

"Nice, gorgeous hands." Spock said.

"Perfect breasts." Jim said.

"And a handsome neckline." Spock added.

"The perfect women," Jim said. "So was it a guest star?"

"Yes," Spock said. "Apparently I fall for the guest stars more than I do for the co-stars."

"I knew it." Jim said, waving the cigar lowering his glass. "That's what? Thirty out of sixty women on this show?"

"A hundred, Denny." Spock said.

"A hundred women. At your age, I had sex with more women than that." Jim said.

"You had a head start." Spock said.

"No, you did. I was sixteen. Completely consensual." Jim said.

Spock sighed.

"Denny." Spock said. "This is not a competition."

"I know," Jim said, his eyes so alive as Spock looked at him. Jim had put the glass on the table that was set inbetween them. "But . . . What's life without some risk or a competition?"

"Peace and quiet." Spock said.

"Which we can agree is boring either way." Jim said.

"I would be inclined to agree but that would be odd agreeing with the man who nearly shot a rare animal." Spock said.

"What rare animal are we talking about?" Jim said.

"It was endangered, Denny." Spock said.

"The island wolf foxes. That was an accident." Jim said.

"I had to defend you at trial." Spock said.

"Wasn't it fun?" Jim asked, with a small smile.

"I will not indulge on your childhood dreams of petting a pet fox after you've killed it." Spock said.

"A cute, little cat like fox. I really wish you could have let me stuffed it." Jim said.

"I am sorry Denny, but that is not your style." Spock said.

"Our style, you mean." Jim said.

Jim stood up going to the edge of the balcony where he could see few stars twinkling in the distance within the sky. The sounds of a helicopter reporting the late night news with a crew on it or may it be a police chase underway in Boston. The sounds of city life under their feet bore a distinct reminder to what reality was. Not as bleak, but hopeful. He came to the edge placing his cigar on it.

"I heard from a friend of mine they are making a one hundred year project to start this bubble thing." Jim said.

"Warp drive." Spock said.

"Yes, that. And they want me to invest on Warp Drive. Should I?" Jim looked over toward the man. "With what my previous investments turned out, I am kind of wary about this." He waved a hand. "I don't want history to repeat. The last time I put my investment into science it flopped."

Spock stood up coming to Jim's side.

"It does not hurt to try again." Spock said, close to the man's side placing his glass on the flat edge in front of himself.

Jim sighed.

"I wish you were rich as I was," Jim said. "And been married six times as I was."

"It is better off I was married once." Spock said. "I do not believe I would be able to take six marriages in my lifetime."

"The average man marries over ten women in his lifetime and divorces them," Jim said, with a sigh. "Same goes for men."

Spock took a sip from his glass then lowered it down swallowing what he had drink.

"Is there . . . something on your mind, Denny?" Spock asked.

"No." Jim said.

"I like both genders, Denny," Spock said. "Each and every person is attractive to me. I have lived with this knowledge for over forty years of my lifetime." His fingers were slid over the glass. "I discovered I liked men in my freshmen year at Harvard. I decided not to share the knowledge when back then being gay was like you had a illness. Life threatening one. There were few tolerant people you could tell without being sent to 'pray the gay away' camps or being brainwashed that you despised men and you loved women. Brainwashing," Spock shuddered. "You know, for being the ones who shout and scream that brainwashing is horrible and inhumane we send our children to camps. To make them decide otherwise regarding their sexuality. To force them into suppressing their desires. We are bigots, that is what we are. Hippocrates. You know more teens run away than before because in statistic their parents do not accept them. . If you have a problem with that then we can reconsider the perimeters of our friendship."

Spock turned completely toward Jim.

"There is no problems with our relationship." Jim said, turned completely toward Spock. "I see you as my partner. The one who makes work not as dull. Before you came. . ." His voice started to break. "I was considering retiring."

"That would have been a shame." Spock said,his hand traveled to the shoulder of Jim and he squeezed the man's shoulder. "You are a fantastic lawyer who has never lost a case."

"At least my protege will never lose a case." Jim said, as a small smile slipped on the man's face.

Spock's grip on Jim's shoulder loosened.

"Denny," Spock said, as their foreheads touched. "I love you."

It was Spock who engaged on the kiss. Jim's hand wrapped around Spock's shoulder, his other hand clenched around the man's jacket. Shirley, the aged blonde, had a file that Jim had apparent left on her desk. She came to a stop seeing the two men making out. There was a distinctive 'about time' expression on her face indicating she was not surprised. She placed it on 'Denny's desk then exited leaving the two men. It was Jim who ended the kiss backing off from the Vulcan looking like he had been recharged. Beaming, even. More happy than he usually was.

"Wow," Jim said. "That was. . ."

"That was a first." Spock said, he looked at Jim with such interest. "Sure you are not gay, Denny?"

Jim leaned his arm against the balcony with a grin.

"Sure as being partner of this firm." Jim said.

"I can be reassured." Spock said, softly. "I never been kissed like that before."

"Yes, you have, plenty of times with women." Jim said.

Spock nodded.

"True." Spock said. "But it was . . ." He stepped forward. "Different with you."

"Everything is different when done with the best lawyer on the planet," Jim said. "Denny Crane."

"Sleep over?" Spock asked.

"Oh come on,Alan," Jim said. "If we do it every night it is going to lose its special flair."

"I will bring popcorn and marshmallows." Spock said.

". . . And Herseys?" Jim asked.

"Including Herseys." Spock said.

"On Demand or do we surf the web?" Jim said.

"Let's play it by ear." Spock said.

"Channel surfing, my favorite activity with you!" Jim said, twirling around from the Vulcan over toward the chair. Where he came over toward the drinks then picked them up. "Actually . . . One of many activities, really."

"Which is?" Spock asked.

"Holodeck, end program." Jim said. The holodeck returned to its dark interior with shades of light colors crisscrossing above and below. "This." He gestured about. "Pretending to be someone else with you." They were no longer in the blue suits that were in two different shades but in casual wear. "Being in someones shoes. It's fun, I enjoy it, now can we play some chess? Or ping pong?"

Spock nodded.

"There is a ping pong contest arranged for this evening." Spock said, as they started to walk out of the holodeck. "Between Mr Sulu and Mr Scott."

Jim started to walk with a limp.

"Great!" Jim said. "Wait, isn't Sulu a world class ping pong player?"

"Affirmative." Spock said.


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