He always said it irked him that I didn't know nor realize how beautiful I really was. He would act surprised and would look at me and say; "You don't know you're beautiful?" I would shake my head. From then on he would call me beautiful, as if the word beautiful was my first name. The texts 'Hey Beautfiul' would appear various times a day. I would smile. A smile I never knew I had until I'd met him. He would look into my eyes and call me beautiful, and for the first time in my life...I actually believed it. How stupid was I? But the thing is....we don't talk anymore, like we used to. We don't laugh, or smile. We don't stay up until 3:30 in the morning just talking and being us, anymore. We don't call eachother clever nicknames nor do we use our inside jokes anymore. We don't say 'I love you' hundreds of times a day, like we used to do. We don't talk anymore. Simple as that. Four words. Four words that hurt me like I've never been hurt. I see him everyday now. I see the look in his eyes when he looks at me. He clams he likes a different girl. I wonder if he still cares? He texts me every now and then as if we are friends, but I don't see him as a friend, I never will. I don't want to be friends, it physically hurts me to talk to him or even look at him anymore. He made me promise that if he made a mistake that I wouldn't leave. I promised. Then he made a mistake. He broke up with me for another girl, then broke up with that girl, and now likes someone else. I walk all into the cafeteria and I see him standing there. Ginger hair, pale skin. Tall. There he was. Here I was. Then suddenly I couldn't take it anymore. "Can I talk to you for a minute? Alone." I say. He nods. We walk over to the open area where no one was in there. He looks from side to side, then puts his hands in his pockets. "What." He says. "There's something I need to tell you." I tell him. He widens his eyes as if to say, what do you need to say? I take a deep breath. "Look, I didn't mean to fall in love, and trust me, you were that last person I would have ever expected this to happen with, but you know what, I did. It happened -" then he interrupted. "Not this again, Dani, i already told you, I like Kelly, I don't like you that way." He states. I see in his eyes, that he's hurting. "For once I'm going to talk and you're going to listen! Got it?" I say. He nods. "And you didn't mean to hurt me a million times, but you know what you did. It happened. And I can't believe that you are going about your day, everyday pretending that I don't exist, pretending that this is nothing?! It's not nothing. At least not to me. You asked me the day we broke up, if I was ok. I never responded. But how would you feel if you liked someone for a couple weeks and when you finally tell someone they put in a group chat with that person and you freak out and totally go a blank not knowing what to say, then your best friend tells that person that you like them, but you know it will never work out because he has a girlfriend yet you still go along with it, starting a new adventure. Then you actually talk to him, get to know him. When at first you're skeptical because he's popular and you are pretty sure he's just like every other popular guy who doesn't care about anyone. But then you get to know him and believe that he's different, then for a month he tells you he's in love with you and that he's gonna break up with his girlfriend and be with you and you are stupid enough to believe it. Then he is your friend for a while then ditches you just like everyone else you've ever gotten close to. Then he comes back and ditches 4 more times. Then you hear from him randomly one day where he says he broke up with his girlfriend and wants to be with you. You get all excited and you feel as if this is it, this is how everything works out. Then you are so happy for a month, and then he ditches you and says you are nothing and that you don't have a family or real friends and you're heartbroken because you just got put down by the person who meant the most to you, then he goes back to his ex, then breaks up with her, and then says he likes your best friend, when during the time he was with you he says how he loves you more then life itself and that his only goal in life is to marry you, and you guys are arguing over baby names and you're always wanting to cuddle at almost every moment. But then everything is just gone. You lost your true love and your best friend. So, I don't know Cody, AM I OKAY? don't be so coy, Cody. You practically asked me to marry you and you know what, I said yes because you know why? Because I freakin am in love with you, damnit. But you don't care. These days I question whether you ever did. Because you expect me to fight for you, you expect me to just wait for you, until you're ready. Well no. I'm done with all of this. With the games. All I ever wanted was you. And I was stupid enough to believe that all you wanted was me. Because, unlike you, I meant it when I said I loved you. The question is, did you? Do you still care? I'm done fighting for you. You said your biggest fear was losing me, well you need a freakin slap to reality, because You've lost me. And now it's your turn to fight for me, you made me promise that if you made a mistake that I wouldn't leave. Open your eyes, Cody!! I'm here! I'm here. Your move." I finish. The anger still moving in my body. He stays silent. He looks me in the eyes, and he is tearing up. He still stays silent, he doesn't say a word. I saw enough, and was hurt. I turned around and began to walk away from him. Then I felt a tug on my wrist. He had grabbed my wrist, I turned to face him. "What." I said, sternly. "What...what..can I do." He says. I stare him in the eyes for s long while, then I finally say; "Look me in the eyes, straight in the eyes, and tell me you hate me. Tell me you never want to see me again. Then I'll drop this, and never talk to you again."
He looks at me, shocked. He stays silent, once again. "Ok, then." I say. I break free of his grasp, and walk forewords. In mid step, I look back to him. "I love you. I know there's feelings for me deep down there, somewhere. I know there's still good in you. Embrace the light. Please." I finish. Then I walk outside into the cool air. Leaving him alone in the cafeteria.
Switch Of POV/
She walked outside, leaving me alone in the cafeteria. What was I suppose to say? She knows me, better then I know me. I try to play games, then she plays them better. Do I still love her? What is wrong with me. I remember how I felt when I was with her. I was me. I didn't have to hide anything, and I felt as if I could finally trust someone. She said she trusted me. Did she mean it? I told her I loved her, and I meant it. Did she? Does she even mean what she's saying now. I don't know. She's a mystery to me, and I guess Amanda was right. I am a turtle. I want everything easy, safe. Dani showed me that I don't need my shell anymore because she cares, and yes, this scared me, almost. Shocked me. So I ran back into my little turtle shell and left her, back where I wasn't taking chances of someone truly caring about me. I feel like I might like Kelly, but I would take Dani over any girl I'm with. But, I try to talk to her as if we are friends, and then she tells me to stop talking to her, because She's done with the games. Is that what she thinks now? That I'm some kind of player? I don't want her opinion of me to be that. And out of no where, I start crying. I sit on the floor in the cafeteria and cry. 'Don't leave if I make a mistake' I told her. 'My greatest fear is losing you' I told her.
Switch Of POV/
I still love him.
Switch Of POV/
I lost her