"What the hell do you mean he injected me with something?" I cry, leaning into Gerard's chest. He strokes my hair, rocking me while my chest heaves.
"God. I'm sorry. I thought you might have been awake when he did it."
"No. I don't remember a lot of being there... I think he knocked me out so I couldn't make a fuss."
"I'm so sorry. We will figure this out. I swear to you. I will fix this."
"How?" I sniff, resting my head on his chest.
"I don't know yet. How good is your acting?"
"I never took part in class, why?" I looking up at him. He looks down, stroking my hair.
"I'll tell you soon. I swear. Let me figure it out first."
"Okay..." I rest on him again, but he gets up suddenly. I wince, but get up after him, leaning on the crutches.
"I'll be back in a sec!" He calls, racing up the stairs. Pete comes in and sees me just standing there.
"You good?" He questions.
"I don't know..."
"Mhm..." I stare into the distance. I'm a danger to them. I hurt Bandit. My Dad managed to get her. He's right. I deserved everything. Oh my God. I should be fucking dead. If I was this wouldn't have happened. If I'd stayed at home, Gerard wouldn't have seen me in hospital, Mr Cook wouldn't have tried to find me. I should be dead. I don't deserve to live. I drove Mum away. I hurt Dad.
I hobble my way to the ensuite bathroom in Pete's room.
"Riley? Where are you going? Are you okay?"
I ignore him and make my way through the door, shutting and locking it behind me. Pete bangs on the door.
"What are you doing, Ri?"
"I'm on the loo." I look around until I come to the right cupboard. I hear Pete's voice raise in volume. Not much, but enough.
"Riley! Don't bullshit me! What are you doing? Why is the door locked?"
The tears start streaming down my face. "Riley! You aren't on the loo! I can fucking tell!" I hear other voices as I pull the razor packets out. Patrick is there.
"Riley? Please don't do anything stupid! We love you! Why aren't you happy? Just talk to us!"
"You don't have to be alone through this!" Andy.
God. This is gonna kill them. Oh look. Another flaw. There's another one who always used to feel the same way. I take the first slice through my arm. You hurt Bandit. Another cut.You're putting everyone in danger. Another. I hear them screaming through the door as I take cut after cut, not caring what they say. The voices build until everyone but Lindsay and Bandit are there. I hear Mikey's voice through them all.
"Riley. Bandit went home with Lindsay." He is talking calmer than everyone else. "Please. Open the door. She isn't here. She won't see the flaws. I swear. Let me help." For some reason, this gets to me and I open the door. Mikey pushes in and catches me as I stumble. I look around and see the blood on my sleeves and in the sink. I look up and see it all over Mikey.
"I'm sorry." I say, weakly.
He shushes me and sits on the toilet seat lid, putting me on his lap, head against his chest.Just like Gee. I feel fresh tears down my face as someone grabs my arm and pulls it under the taps. I try to look up, but Mikey holds me close, restricting my movement. The freezing water rushes over my arm and I sob harder.
"I'm sorry. I can't do it. It hurts. You! It hurts you! I-I hurt Bandit..." I go to move away from Mikey, but he pulls me close. My arm is still in the sink, someone tending to it.
"You haven't done anything to hurt anyone other person than yourself. We want you to be happy." Mikey strokes my hair over and over again. I hear footsteps.
"Did I hear yelli- Riley?" Gee. Shit. He's gonna hate me. "Riley! What happened?"
"I thought you were with her!" Pete yells.
"I ran upstairs for a second! I swear!" They hate each other. And it's my fault. I start shaking and Mikey rocks me.
"Guys! Can you not see that we're the ones hurting her now?" I try to argue, but he shushes me. "You need to stop arguing! We should deal with Riley now and what happened to cause it later."
Something is wrapped around my wrist and I try to pull away. This time it's Pete that shushes me. I try to relax but my stomach hurts and now so does my wrist. I look up and see Mikey looking down at me. I look around to see Pete, Gee, Andy and Joe. Pete's eyes are red and puffy. He's been crying... Andy and Joe are straight faced and blank. I can't even understand what Gerard looks like. He looks like he's going to cry but he's stone-faced.
"I'm sorry..." I whisper.
"Hey. Don't worry. I know that I've had the same feeling before. So have Andy and Patrick. Fuck. Where's Patrick?" Pete says.
I look around and pull myself up, grabbing my crutches. My abdomen doesn't hurt as much if I walk without them, it's going to hurt like hell. I pull myself past Gee and Andy, making my way to the front room. Joe, Frank and Ray are sat in front and around a sobbing Patrick. I realise as I reach the door, I've been acting off of adrenaline and start feeling woozy.
"Patrick? Are you okay?" I say, concentrating on standing up straight. He stands up and walks over to me, holding under my arms. We walk over to the seat and sit down. "Seriously, was it me that did this to you?"
"No... It's not you. I just know how you feel. Like you're a failure when you can't think of anything you've done wrong, like there is no point in life because everything is crashing down around you. You've tried to help or even just tried to stay out the way, but everyone you come into contact with is hurt or hurts you." I look at him, tears flooding my vision. He leans over and hugs me. "Never feel like that. You haven't hurt anyone. The world has hurt you. And remember when you have a bad day, a really bad day, try to treat the world better than it treated you." I start laughing. "What?"
"Did you just quote yourself?"
"I might of done."
"That's sad." I punch his arm lightly and stand up on the crutches. "I'm so hungry! What's the time?"
"Six." Mikey says walking in, "Come on, we're gonna order Chinese."
*Two Months Later*
After Physio Therapy to help me walk better again, and a counselor to help with my emotions; I walk Bandit down the school path, Gerard and Lindsay walking behind us. As I wave goodbye and leave Lindsay to talk to the teachers, Gerard comes over to me. He puts his arm around my shoulder and squeezes it. We haven't found a school for me yet, as I'm still getting back to normal so the boys are homeschooling me.
"I have something to ask you." Gerard says, solemnly as we walk away from the school. I look up at him.
"Sure. What's up?"
"How would you feel if I said we were going on tour for a while?" My heart sinks. At least a year without the people who have supported me for so long...
"Yeah. I have Bandit and Lindsay and I have schoolwork, even though I don't go to school and-" Gerard cuts me off, turning me to face him.
"Riley, I want you to come with us."
"Wait, what?" I gasp.
"We are going on tour with Patrick and the guys, and I think Brendon from Panic! At The Disco is joining us." I hug him tightly.
"I'd love to Gee!"
"Yay! We leave in a week! Let's go pack!" I laugh as Gerard skips up the street. Lindsay catches up and laughs with me.
"I'm guessing he asked you to go on tour?"
"Yeah. Guess what I said!" We laugh and follow Gerard up the road to the car...
Hi guys! Sorry it's a sort of abrupt ending, but I couldn't think of anything else to write! But I did have the idea for a sequel! Guess what it'll be about! Haha! Starring special guest Brendon Urie! Okay, thank you so much for reading this story! If you like it make sure to give the sequel a read when it comes out!